


same trailer, different park

by KatyaTrixie



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Bisexual/Pansexual Zelda, Bohemian Lilith, Deep fried guilt, Drug Addiction, F/F, Hurricanes, I despise Faustus Blackwood, Kidfic, Lots of drinking, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Pineapples, Smut, d i v o r c e, lots of smoking, yes god they live in a trailer park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 85,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27171388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatyaTrixie/pseuds/KatyaTrixie
Summary: Zelda loathes her day in, day out existence in her Gulfport, Mississippi trailer park until someone new moves into the rental next door.
Relationships: Faustus Blackwood/Zelda Spellman, Zelda Spellman & Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith, Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Comments: 300
Kudos: 183
Collections: Madam Spellman Fictober Challenge





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I must thank praisemadamespellman and LaLicorneRose for the inspiration. 
> 
> This is my submission for the Crack part of the Fictober Challenge.

_ baby why would i ever hide _

_ lovin blue skies over me _

_ but i want to taste every drop of rain that you make _

_ that's what I need _

_ -caught up in your storm - mickey guyton _

  
  
  


“Zelda, darlin’, bring me an RC!” 

Crushing out her cigarette in the See Rock City ashtray Hilda and Cerberus had gifted her from their honeymoon in Chattanooga, Zelda slid open the glass door to their doublewide to see Faustus in his Lazyboy, five feet from the Frigidaire, partially reclined with a bowl of boiled peanuts resting on his sizable beer belly, hand extended for his requested beverage.

“You had me get up from my reading, knowing I have to be at work in less than an hour, when you’re off the rest of the day? I ought to -” 

Her tirade was interrupted by the squeal of brakes, a cloth-covered Jeep pulling into the lot next door. Zelda stared at the lithe woman who jumped from the driver’s side, her brilliant wild tangle of curls flying behind her as she gleefully ran for the door. She couldn’t help but notice the deep tan adorning the woman’s skin, the kiss from lying in a tanning bed. 

“You’re mine, all mine!” Zelda heard the shout, and looked around for whatever could be causing this excited response until she realized the woman was referring to the trailer itself.

Moving to the window that gave a view of the adjacent single wide, a weathered, battered rental that had seen better days, she witnessed a strange sight. The woman was dancing, spinning like some ballerina wound too tight in a rubber band, then let go, a yo yo hurtling toward earth.

And Zelda admired her, the lift of her breasts against the skimpy tank top she wore, how they pressed against the cotton, nipples clearly visible, as she was braless. Zelda longed to press them between her fingers, listen to the throaty gasp she knew the woman would produce, the animalistic moan already reverberating through Zelda’s heated mind.  _ Jesus, get ahold of yourself,  _ she thought.  _ Damn hormones. _

She was still on the hormone regimen the baby doctor in Jackson had prescribed, their last futile attempt at conception slipping away faster than the sands on the Gulfport beach not far from their home.

Suddenly remembering her husband’s beverage request, she retrieved the RC and slammed into his waiting grasp.

His eyes suddenly leering at the expanse of leg exposed by the kimono she wore around the house, its silken flow against her body reminding her of some far fetched dream never achieved.

“You oughta what?” He reached out one massive paw, fingernails dirty with the money and who knew what all else he handled at that coastal casino in Biloxi, the one place that would still hire him, even trust him as he ran the blackjack table, pocketing money just out of sight of the cameras. 

Grabbing her hip so hard bruises were probably already blooming on her fair skin, she briefly considered giving him what he wanted, fucking him into oblivion so she could rid herself of the pent up energy she felt from seeing that woman’s breasts, the arousal curled deep in her threatening to pour forth now. But there wasn’t time; she knew she’d have to shower, for he would ruin her hair, leave her covered in marks visible to her co-workers, so she would have to rid herself of the smell of sex, sweat, and him, especially him. She moved away from him, from the view of the woman still causing waves of arousal to flow through her now throbbing body.

  
  


As she dressed in her standard everyday uniform she wore like an armor, her navy pantsuit with cobalt blouse, starched to the point it could stand up by itself, sliding her feet into the utilitarian pumps so she could walk the concrete covered floor for eight hours, she sat at the vanity table that had been hers since her sixteenth birthday. Her picture of Elvis tucked into the side mirror brought a smile to her face, and she kissed her index finger and touched the King’s toothy grin.

She saw an innumerable amount of grey hairs dotting her hairline as she pulled her brush through her bottle strawberry blonde waves, gathering it all in a low ponytail that drifted down her back.  _ Got to remember to get some Nice ’n Easy while I’m at the store, she reminded herself.  _ Thankfully she had the next few days off and could take care of touching up her roots.

  
  


Giving her lips a swipe of her favorite shade of Mary Kay Coral Me Bad, she sat back to give herself the once over.  _ Not bad for 41,  _ she smiled, just enough to smooth out the fine lines that had settled around her lips from smoking for twenty years. No face cream would fade those, and she decided long ago that her vice was worth the marks it left behind.

  
  


Taking the narrow hallway toward the low sounds of the television, she passed their wedding portrait adorning the wall. Their smiles looking genuine, young and in love, or something akin to it. Zelda wore her mother’s dress, a veil Hilda had sown, held a bouquet of pink peonies, and Faustus was quite dapper in his rented tux, a pink bowtie to match her flowers, his curly locks combed flat giving him the appearance of someone much more sophisticated than he ever hoped to be. Life had seemed full of possibilities then.

  
  


Now looking back at Faustus with disdain, watching him drop peanuts into the glass bottle and tipping it back, Zelda sighed and opened the glass door, the heat of the July afternoon wilting her starched collar just a little, and she grabbed her nametag off the keyholder. Pinning the white plastic to her lapel, she glanced at her name in the oversized blue letters with the same surge of pride it always brought.  _ Zelda,  _ and underneath,  _ Store Manager - Walmart Store #692. _

Throwing the request over her shoulder, even though she knew it was pointless, Zelda sighed. “Could you maybe unload the dishwasher, run the vacuum too?” He grunted in response, and she knew he’d be out cold in that same spot when she returned home. “I won’t be home til nearly midnight.”

His eyes never left the 80 inch screen, the multi-colored cars, their over powering noise and monotonous circles around the Talladega 500 track had him mesmerized.

“Yeah, yeah, okay, baby. You go give ‘em hell tonight, ya hear?”

Thankful to walk away, leaving the failure and defeat that often swamped her when at home, bringing with it the feeling of being trapped; trapped in her marriage, trapped in a life she never wanted.

Behind the wheel of her battleship grey Toyota Camry, immaculate and newly detailed, the new car air freshener scent barely masking the heavy aroma of cigarette smoke, Zelda felt as if she was driving toward something, a purpose, a place where she was respected, held in high esteem. 

She lit a cigarette from the lighter in the dash, letting the nicotine wash away the disgust she felt for her husband. They had been fine, it seemed, until she decided to get her GED, then her Associate Degree at the community college. Surpassing Faustus educationally, followed by a promotion at her job seemed to anger him as he was under the impression she should be at home having his babies.

And that was the final straw, their inability to conceive. They had run through all their money on IVF treatments, even the inheritance his daddy had left them when he died, only to find failure when each and every pregnancy test was a letdown. The doctors in Jackson couldn’t find any cause, so Faustus blamed her job, her smoking, everything but himself.

Sipping from her seashell pink Yeti cooler, the antiseptic cleansing quality of the vodka, odorless and safe, doing the job the nicotine didn’t manage; she now felt calm and clear-headed, free of husbands and stifling summers in the trailer park.

She carried the cup with her as she entered through the garden center, enjoying her first walkthrough of the store as she always did, greeting all her employees by name, asking after family members, children’s graduation plans, weddings and births of grandchildren. Zelda prided herself on at least having this surface knowledge of the people who worked for her.

Finally reaching her office, she spotted Bobbie Jo, her assistant manager, ready and waiting to deliver the reports from the day, her ready smile Zelda found hard not to return. 

A product of the same quota system that promoted Zelda to the position she now held, Bobbie Jo had worked for the company for 20 years before seeing her first upward movement, and soon promotions she merited followed quickly behind. Zelda had also moved up in the company when she showed a knack for cutting corners and getting good results, so when their previous manager took a position in Pensacola the job became hers. She never considered herself a token woman in the old boy’s club though, for she could hold her own in any regional meeting, smoking and drinking many of the other local managers under the table easily. 

Bobbie Jo’s animated retelling of a customer who attempted to return an already inflated kiddie pool held Zelda’s attention until she saw a familiar face through the glass window on her office door. She held up a hand to pause Bobbie Jo’s tale, throwing open the door to see a curly mane of hair walking down the hallway, a navy vest signifying she was an employee. 

The thought of her dancing neighbor being so close by was soon quickly squelched by the many responsibilities of her day, and Zelda didn’t give the woman another thought. Left with running to and fro, putting out the many fires that crept up with manning the night shift, she managed to get away near 10 o’clock, a smoke break being just what she needed.

Not wanting to dampen the mood in the set aside smoking area for hourly employees, she headed to her normal place, the side of the store that faced the ocean. They were too far inland to see it, but Zelda imagined she could hear the gentle wash of the waves, and it calmed her frazzled nerves. 

Reaching the spot however, she found someone else had discovered her secret hideaway. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, is this your spot? I knew someone smoked here when I found the coffee can, but it’s so much quieter than the covered employee area.”

Zelda came face to face with the object of her earlier lustful thoughts who didn’t seem the least bit fazed at being caught smoking in the wrong area of the store, and by the boss, no less.

Not quite able to find an adequate response, waffling between an admonition and a reassurance that she did not, in fact, mind sharing her smoking spot, Zelda settled on lighting up, looking down at the woman’s nametag before addressing her.

“It’s not really an official spot, as you put it, but yes, I do enjoy a bit of peace and quiet too,” Zelda exhaled toward the sky, an airplane in the distance catching her eye, distracting her momentarily. Looking back at the brunette, she caught her widened eyes as she glanced at Zelda’s nametag. “It’s Lilith, is it?”

“Yes, yes, ma’am, I’m Lilith,” Suddenly seeming nervous, the woman got up to leave.

“No, please don’t feel like you have to go back. Unless your break is over.”

Lilith shook her head and leaned back against the wall, one cowboy booted foot propped against it, her short, hardly regulation skirt riding up as she scratched a mosquito bite on her bent knee, taking a drag on the mentholated stick between her fingers. The woman surreptitiously glanced at Zelda, taking her in, and Zelda felt her eyes, the attention causing a heat to burn in her belly.

And Zelda did her own share of observing, for up close and still, her neighbor was attractive in a bohemian way. Figuring her to be about 30, Zelda admired the loose curls framing her face, two small braids holding portions of her thick dark hair back, sharp cheekbones led to an equally striking jawline, but her eyes held Zelda’s attention for a beat too long. She’d seen that color once before, the blue of the Gulf of Mexico at Panama City Beach, a bottomless pit she could fall into.

Clearing her throat, the woman brought Zelda’s musing to an end. 

“There’s a shooting star,” She arched her arm, pointing with the curve the meteor took as it fell. “Hope that’s not my flaming star.”

Zelda looked up at her, surprised.

“Elvis, right? Flaming Star?” Lilith nodded. “Not too many people know that one.”

Looking at the man-sized watch face on her arm, Lilith stubbed out her cigarette in the coffee can, and began to walk away.

“Nice smoking with you, Mrs. Blackwood.” 

Zelda flinched at the use of her married name.

“Zelda.” Lilith turned back, looking at her curiously.

“You can call me Zelda.”

**********

Hours later, making her final rounds before heading to the bank of cash registers to finalize the 11 o’clock shift changeover, Zelda hunted for Lilith, hoping to spot the brunette before she left, to check on her as this had to have been her first day on the job.

At sixty paces out she spotted those cowboy boots, catching a bit of limp in the woman’s step as she clearly wasn’t used to being on her feet for an extended period of time. 

Coming closer to the garden center she saw Lilith nod at Jimbo, the department manager, then move towards a pile of bagged potting soil, lifting two bags at a time, transferring them to a spot not five feet away.

Seething resentment etched on her distinctive features, Lilith smirked at the sight of Zelda, bending over then to lift three bags of soil, her biceps flexing in the long sleeved knit top she wore, glancing back to make sure the redhead’s eyes were firmly planted on her ass when she bent over again.

“Miz Zelda,” Jimbo’s soft Mississippi drawl a strange partner to his bulky frame, he approached her, and she craned her neck to acknowledge him. “Miz Zelda, this is Lilith, today’s her first day, and I didn’t know if you’d met her yet, knowin’ you like to know everyone by name and all.”

“Why, thank you, Jimbo. Yes, we’ve already met. How are things going, Lilith?” Zelda attempted to keep her tone professional, even after all of Lilith’s flexing and preening, the pure gall of the woman incensing and arousing her just the same.

“Just fine, ma’am, they’ve had me floating around today, and I suppose I’ll land myself in the department I fit best,” Lilith’s gaze wandered the whole of the outdoor area, warm and humid in the July evening, moths gathering around the fluorescent light fixtures. “I think I like it here, being outside, around the plants and fresh air.”

“I can put in a good word for you if you want; I happen to know the manager,” Zelda’s professional tone did nothing to hide the playful light in her eyes.

Lilith smiled then, pure and genuine, a bit of sunshine and mischievousness. 

“That’d be real nice of you, if you could.” Lilith turned back to moving the bags, throwing one more smirk over her shoulder.

Gathering her things when she got back to her office, she grabbed the now empty Yeti, longing for something to tide her over as she drove back home, the next few days off stretching out in front of her like a desert with no oasis.

She made it as far as the edge of the parking lot before she lit a cigarette, sliding behind the wheel and punching the channel preset for Elvis radio, hoping for something upbeat. 

The first notes of “Flaming Star” resounded through her car as she turned out onto Highway 49, her mind drifting back to those cowboy boots, the shredded hem of that short skirt. 

Arriving back home, the darkness of the trailer greeted her, certainly Faustus having gone to bed as it was nearly one.

Feeling under the potted fern for the key, she rattled the handle, it and so many other things in need of repair, and tried to enter quietly.

She tripped over his work boots as they were in the same spot they’d been in for days, cursing him and catching herself before she fell face first. Mud he had tracked in still surrounded the boots, dried into sticky piles of caked grass and shells. The kitchen was dark except for the digital display from the microwave, but even in the low light she saw the sink full of dishes, the dishwasher still not emptied. 

Seeing red, fury rushing through her, she happened to glance out the window towards her new neighbor’s trailer. A light flashed on, Lilith having arrived home, and the open blinds gave Zelda quite a show.

Apparently having turned on some music, she shimmied as she slowly removed her polyester vest, tossing it out of view, revealing the sleek top she wore, now molded to her body after the workout she’d received earlier. Zelda couldn’t tear herself away as she pulled it over her head, unveiling her tanned body to the redhead’s prying eyes, and the brunette turned towards the window as she removed her bra. Ducking out of sight, Zelda peered around the curtain just in time to catch the remainder of her clothing being tossed towards the corner of the room, save a pair of skimpy panties that left little to the imagination. 

She leaned against the wall by the window, desire pooling low in her abdomen, knowing the hormones she’d taken were not to blame. The lust she felt was only for the woman appearing just through the glass, and the dull throbbing between her legs was begging to be assuaged. 

Hearing a shuffling behind her, she turned to see Faustus, opening the refrigerator door to grab a Coors Light from the multipak.

“Want one, Zeldy?” he offered, and she cringed, despising the nickname and her anger flared again as she spied the dirty dishes spilling from the sink.

“No, Faustus, I surely don’t. What did you do all night? This place looks like a pigpen.” She shot at him, a scowl covering her face. “You are completely useless.” 

Rage flashed in his eyes, and he approached her rapidly, seeming like he wanted to intimidate her, but she stood her ground. Their eyes met, neither wanting to lose this game of chicken.

“Without me you’d still be waiting tables at the Scarlet Pearl, flashing your tits to pad your measly tips. I took you away from all that,” he breathed into her face, the beer and hot wings a rancid combination. He threw in one last biting comment. “Ain’t my fault your babymaker don’t work.”

Suddenly she raised her hand to strike him, catching him off guard, but he grabbed her wrist before it reached his face.

“And it’s certainly not mine that you can’t hold a decent job. No baby deserves to have you as a father.” Her tone held all the rage she felt, all the anger she kept buried inside.

She hated him, pure and simple, but the unfulfilled sexual ardor she felt for Lilith won out as she reached between his legs, grabbing him roughly finding him half hard, turned on from their exchange, as fighting always did get him going.

He grunted as she stroked him, his eyes darkening. She felt him twitch as she ran her tongue over her bottom lip, but her mind had drifted to their neighbor’s toned thighs, wondering if the freckles she saw in the outdoor lighting earlier traveled all the way up, itching to sink her teeth into that bronzed flesh.

Anxious to bring this to a close, to find some release, she rubbed him harder, her thumb circling the tip the way she knew he liked. And when his breathing was uneven, when his eyes closed, his hips jerking arrhythmically with her motions; when she knew he was close, she dropped him and walked toward the bedroom. He staggered forward, grasping the table for a moment, then gingerly followed her. By then she had removed her jacket and shirt, down to her satin bra, and was unbuttoning her pants when he made his approach again, obviously uncomfortable.

Tearing her hands away, he jerked open her pants, yanking them down, her fair skin on display in the low light of the bedroom.

“At least you still got your figure,” He ran his hands all over her, and she could taste the bile in the back of her throat as he reached between her legs. When he found her wet, he grinned like the fool he was. “All for me, baby?”

He pushed her face down onto the bed, lifting her hips as he tore her panties out of the way, pulling her back to the edge of the bed, entering her and moaning so loud she knew Lilith and the rest of the trailer park had to know what they were up to.

Truth be told, she didn’t mind it one bit, she was so worked up from the fantasy of the nearby woman. Faustus was grunting and panting like a workhorse, and she could tell he wouldn’t last, so she reached between her legs, finding her clit, adding more and more pressure as she imagined Lilith’s mouth where her hand was. 

The room reeked of sex as they both came, Zelda barely managing to stay on her knees to let him finish, and then moving quickly to the bathroom, eager to wash all traces of him away.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing to explain how safe they were, because Faustus had seen devastation himself, he tried to reassure her. They both had ridden out the disaster of Hurricane Katrina together, but in a shelter. Zelda adamantly refused to subject herself to the terror she felt as a child again. And the storm had taken everything, save the pictures they’d managed to grab, the family heirlooms they’d stacked in the back of Faustus’s beat up truck, covered and secured under a blue tarp. They’d been reduced to bits and pieces, insulation and bathroom fixtures, a concrete slab where their trailer had stood.

_Caught up in your storm, baby_

_Love your rain pouring down_

_Yeah yeah yeah_

_Oh, washing over washing over me_

_I want to feel you under these clouds_

_-caught up in your storm - mickey guyton_

Zelda was just pulling on black gloves, having already mixed the applicator and color in a bowl when Faustus appeared in the bathroom door.

His crisp white shirt, already sweat stained under the arms, was tucked into his work pants, and he lifted his foot to the counter next to her, grabbing the towel she was using to polish some smudge from his uniform black Reeboks.

“They called me in for a shift. Seems like this hurricane coming is making people want to gamble.”

Gratefully she sighed, a whole day to herself now on the horizon, but his comment left her confused.

“What hurricane?” She had to do better at keeping up with the news. 

Faustus pointed at the television as he shoved his wallet in his back pocket. 

Jim Cantore stood on the tarmac at Eglin Air Force Base in Pensacola, the plane they used to observe hurricanes from above behind him. The crawl at the bottom of the screen warned that people should start evacuating immediately.

“Don’t worry none, Weather Channel says it’s gonna hit between Pensacola and Apalachicola, we’re okay.”

_But Hilda isn’t,_ she thought. Her sister had gotten married last year, and her new husband had taken her away, living now in Bonifay, “an easy drive on I-10” she had said when she hugged Zelda goodbye. Having never made the journey, Zelda didn’t know how far inland they lived, how tucked away their mobile home was, but one thing Zelda did understand was the almighty power of a hurricane.

Her earliest memory was of hunkering down in the bathtub during Hurricane Elena, baby Hilda and her mama crowded in with her, the mattress from their bed covering them, her daddy refusing to heed the evacuation order. The tornadoes, the wind, the rain, it was all a blur now, but it gave her the utmost respect for storms.

Continuing to explain how safe they were, because Faustus had seen devastation himself, he tried to reassure her. They both had ridden out the disaster of Hurricane Katrina together, but in a shelter. Zelda adamantly refused to subject herself to the terror she felt as a child again. And the storm had taken everything, save the pictures they’d managed to grab, the family heirlooms they’d stacked in the back of Faustus’s beat up truck, covered and secured under a blue tarp. They’d been reduced to bits and pieces, insulation and bathroom fixtures, a concrete slab where their trailer had stood.

Starting over was a way of life here.

Watching Faustus slide into the paint-splattered white pickup, a holdout from one of his failed business ventures as a high rise painter, having lost all of his equipment in a poker tournament years back, Zelda looked beyond the parking pad into the trailer next door, shadows passing behind the firmly closed blinds.

She slipped her phone from a pocket in her bag, dialing Hilda as she started applying the color to her hair, sectioning it off to be sure she covered every piece.

“Hey, honey, good to hear from ya! How’re y’all doin’?” Hilda answered on the first ring.

“I called to check on _you_ , another damn hurricane headed straight for you, don’t we have the best luck?” 

“Listen, Zeldy, we’re fine. Cerb and I have taken shelter, our little single wide is secured, now we’re just waitin’ it out like everyone else here in Bonifay. Is Faustus boardin’ up your windows just in case?”

Sighing, Zelda dropped the applicator brush, splattering the long shirt she’d slept in the night before with bright orange dye.

“No, he actually just left to work a shift at the Hard Rock. Weatherman says it won’t come here.”

“He drove to Biloxi in this? He’s a plum fool.”

Not able to disagree with her, Zelda finished with her hair and chatted with her sister, half listening, adding in a “yes” or a hum, but focusing her attention on the television. The storm was still far out in the Gulf, forecast to hit within the next day, a fast moving beast.

It occurred to her while she was rinsing the color out that she needed to contact the store to make sure everything was in place and well stocked for evacuees and storm preppers. Her call to Bobbie Jo was brief, and she hung up feeling satisfied they were fully prepared.

Tugging on some leggings and a flowy leopard print top, she decided to move all her plants to safety, tucking them under the porch, a cigarette dangling from her lips, large sunglasses protecting her eyes from the glare of the sun off their white trailers.

Squatting before her bed of elephant ear plants, she was pulling weeds when a movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention.

Lilith, who had apparently been running, her flowing waves tamed into two braids, her copper arms bright with the sunshine that dappled through the trees, was standing outside her own trailer door, trying to catch her breath.

Her running shorts revealing even more leg than her skirt had, Zelda noticed freckles dotted her chest, dipping down into her cleavage as the only other article of clothing she wore was a sports bra, Zelda moved closer to the porch, admiring the view surreptitiously.

She let herself drift in her fantasy of the woman again, fingers twitching to touch the expanse of all that smooth skin, imagining it to be baby soft. Rubbing her lips together, she swallowed at the thought of running her tongue down into that valley between those full breasts...

The sudden ringing of her phone made her jump, and caused Lilith’s head to jerk in her direction. Zelda ran into the dark shadows of her screened in porch, avoiding looking towards the other woman, the number from _Bentonville, Arkansas_ grabbing her attention. She gave herself a moment before she answered, making sure she sounded poised and managerial again.

“Yes, Mark, good morning…..I am aware of the hurricane,but…..really? That’s a change of plans then…..Bobbie Jo has prepped the store for evacuees and…..so you think…..well, if that’s what you think is best, I’ll take care of it. I’ll be in touch.” She disconnected the call and started texting furiously.

As the messages flew back and forth, Zelda grew more and more concerned. It seemed she would be stuck with finishing the job of prepping her store because the corporate office demanded a manager be there, and her second in charge had already worked a double that day. The department managers she contacted felt confident the shelves were full, continually bringing out more and more items as they emptied. 

Resigned to losing one of her precious days off, she went to change clothes, her casual armor of sorts. Slipping into a pair of dark jeans and leopard print wedge sandals, she sat at her vanity, brushing out the now brassy red waves she’d allowed to air dry, thankful the color looked even as she hadn’t planned on letting anyone see it until after a few washes. 

She swiped some light rose eyeshadow over her lids, added some mascara, all her favorite Mary Kay products neatly organized, tissue paper lining the drawer of the vanity crinkling as she chose a more red lipstick to accent her hair and outfit.

Noticing that Faustus had not bothered to make the bed, she straightened the sheets and tugged the duvet back into place, smoothing it all out and tossing the pillows haphazardly near the head. Like most nights lately, she had slept on the couch after showering, unwilling to be close to him. He tended to hover after sex, to be clingy, which repulsed her. For her it was one and done, do the deed and move on.

Affixing her nametag to her top, she remembered Lilith’s wide eyes as she stared at it the night before, the heat returning when she thought how that stare had been on her body moments before that revelation. She heard a door slam outside and watched the now showered, freshly scrubbed Lilith hop into her Jeep, the polyester navy vest in her hand. Tossing it on the seat, Zelda heard the blast of her radio, Dolly Parton’s _Jolene_ filling the air.

A smile graced her lips at the thought that the woman would be at the store too, that she could be on the receiving end of more flirting, too-long looks made her heart beat a bit faster. She decided to leave before she let herself sink too far into her fantasies again.

She was about to turn off the television when a flash came on the screen, a breaking news alert indicating that the hurricane had now made a turn to the west, its path for landfall determined to be between Mobile and Gulfport, within the next 8 hours.

Terror gripped her as she thought of what was coming, a predicted Category 3 when it came ashore, she could lose everything yet again. She texted Faustus, unsure if he’d get the news. His most likely reaction would be to ride out the storm in a comped room with one of the guests he had said crowded into the casinos today, although with this news he may well find himself alone, all the tourists who had poured in to watch a hurricane from a safe distance scurrying back home to inland safety. The highrises along Biloxi’s Gulf Coast were among the most vulnerable and he knew it after riding out Katrina.

Filling her leopard print covered Yeti with the orange vinyl Z, a gift from Bobbie Jo on her last birthday, she dropped in some ice, sipping off the top to keep the vodka from spilling over. She was ready to leave.

The parking lot was full as she pulled into her normal place behind the building, cars spilling out on the grass, people pushing overloaded buggies out each exit, rain already falling steadily as the outer bands of the storm were moving onshore. Making mental notes to herself about what was in each cart, she headed to the grocery area first after depositing her bag and cup, half empty by this point.

It was there she first found Lilith, knee deep in plastic partitioned cases of water bottles, the tight jeans she wore accentuating her small frame. Zelda could see that where she was soft and curvy, Lilith was all muscle; as she lifted the pack of water above her head to place it on a high shelf, Zelda was gifted with another glimpse of taut abs and the tiniest slice of the bright blue bra she wore.

The man she worked alongside said something to Lilith that Zelda didn’t catch, causing the brunette to throw back her head and laugh, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she turned around, noticing Zelda there with a clipboard, her glasses propped on the bridge of her nose.

Her whole demeanor changed then, gone was the silliness, replaced by a more subtle, sensual look in her eyes. She kept moving, sliding a box towards her waiting co-workers who sliced open the bindings with a box cutter, but her eye was on Zelda now, watching and taking her in out of the periphery of her vision. And Zelda felt every glance.

“Do y’all feel like we have enough water to get us through the rest of today? Weather forecast predicts landfall in about 6 hours, but I think we’ll close sooner than that.” Zelda was all business as she addressed the group.

“I’m not sure, ma’am, this is the last case from the back,” Lilith answered quickly for everyone.

“Hmmm,” Zelda answered, pulling out her phone and texting the stockroom foreman to check on incoming orders.

Moving on, she made some notes with the pencil she had poked behind her ear, removing a rubber band from her wrist and pulling her long hair back into a ponytail. Her eyes met Lilith’s once more as she began to walk away, determined to check on the milk supply next.

The next few hours passed like a whirlwind, Zelda keeping one eye constantly at the clock, watching her phone for weather updates until corporate office called and gave her a closing time for the store. She had an hour to clear everyone out, including employees, leaving a slim window for her to drive home safely.

She used the emergency system in place to let shoppers know how much time was left til closing, then she quickly gathered the remaining stock crew together to wish them luck and safety. Seeing Lilith hovering in the background, she knew the woman would be leaving soon, her safety suddenly imperative to Zelda. 

The cashiers remained, helping to do a walkthrough and look for stragglers, until the store was quiet, except for the howling wind outside the doors.

Zelda walked through once more, checking and rechecking all the areas she could see at a glance, her nervous eyes observing the darkness swallowing up the sky through the front windows.

Hearing a noise from the stockroom, she picked up her pace, anxious to check on whatever caused the disturbance and leave, her window of opportunity quickly closing for a safe drive home.

Rounding a corner, she came upon Lilith, unloading a case of water that had apparently just been delivered.

“What are you still doing here, Lilith?” she sputtered.

“This water came in and I thought we needed it…” Lilith looked around as if it had just dawned on her that they were alone in the store.

“Everyone’s gone! The storm is making landfall in the next half hour, and we need to leave now! Get your things and meet me back here,” she ordered, and they hurried to gather their belongings.

Back at the stockroom door, the wind was screaming through the open space, the rain pounding down. The power flickered, going off as the exit sign lighted their faces.

Zelda tried to push the door open, and when it wouldn’t budge Lilith tried to help her, the opening nearly blown off its hinges as it burst open, a wall of wind and water meeting them head on, the sun completely gone. They both pulled it closed and looked at each other fearfully.

“I couldn’t even see my car out there,” Zelda muttered, her blouse stuck to her, hair soaked and jeans like a second skin.

Lilith was in no better condition, her clothes molded to her body, hair blown all around. “It seems like we’re stuck here.”

Their eyes met, and Zelda nodded in the darkness, very much aware of the precarious situation they found themselves in, but remaining calm, at least outwardly.

Pulling out her phone, she noticed she only had 25% left of her battery power, and she knew the emergency generator only left partial lights and one section of the refrigeration units running. She walked towards electronics, Lilith following close behind, her own phone in hand.

“How much of a charge do you have left?” Zelda spoke into the darkness, the flashlight on her phone illuminating their path. 

“Only about 10%. Forgot to plug it in last night.” Lilith answered, her boots sloshing with water as she walked.

The spot that usually held the portable chargers was empty, and the whole section of phone products was stripped bare. 

“Well, I suppose we’d better find a plug and charger. But these wet clothes are a little more than I can take right now. Fortunately, we have all the clothes we can possibly need,” Trying to make light of their situation, Zelda could see that the humor had left Lilith’s eyes altogether. 

“Is this your first hurricane?” Zelda gently asked, sensing the nervous energy surrounding her. When she didn’t answer, Zelda laid a gentle hand on her arm. “Lilith?”

She jumped, a gust of wind overhead rattling the skylights, the plastic moving in its housing. Zelda knew those would be the first to go if the wind hit them just right.

“Yes, yes ma’am, I’m not from around here.” 

Wrinkling her nose, Zelda smiled at her. “You can stop with the ma’am. That’s a politeness I’ve never adjusted to as I’ve gotten older. Ma’ams are grandmas and never-married aunts.”

Lilith chuckled at that. “Okay, Mrs. Black-” Zelda cut her off with another wrinkle of her nose and a shake of her head. “I mean, Zelda.”

“Hurricanes are not to be disrespected, but you're in good hands. I figure I’ve at least lived through 10 or more in my time.” Zelda’s attempt to calm Lilith’s fears earned her a smirk with her ‘you’re in good hands’ remark, but she continued with a roll of her eyes.

“We are probably safer here than at home, because trailers can be highly vulnerable in high winds, or tornados, which can sometimes occur when the storm rolls onshore.” 

Nodding her head, giving Zelda her full attention, Lilith stopped in the center of the aisle.

“Wait a minute, how did you know I lived in a trailer?”

Trying to keep from looking like a deer caught in the headlights, the redhead suddenly became very interested in the text messages on her phone, avoiding Lilith’s questioning gaze.

Zelda finally sighed, “Oh, I just happened to see you going inside this morning when I was moving my plants.”

Lilith nodded, the explanation seeming to sit well with her.

“I thought that was you when I heard the phone ring. You ran inside before I could say anything to you.”

Feeling caught out, Zelda was glad for the darkness, glad Lilith couldn’t see how embarrassed she truly was.

“I should’ve spoken to you first. Anyway, it seems we’re neighbors,” Zelda plunged on ahead with what she had been saying about trailers and high winds, now feeling like the nervous one.

They reached the women’s clothing department, and Zelda headed towards the leggings, picking out several. 

“Are these okay?” She tossed a pair to Lilith who nodded and pulled her boots off, then started to remove her jeans.

In the low light of their phone flashlights, the redhead got a closer view of Lilith’s toned legs as she pulled down her wet jeans, and then slid behind a rack to change her jeans and top. 

“Zelda, um, you left your, um,” Lilith was suddenly standing by her side as she straightened up from peeling her jeans from her legs, holding out the tunic she’d chosen to wear. She had already removed her wet blouse, and was shivering in the cool air of the store.

The brunette ran her tongue over her bottom lip as Zelda stood there, her body exposed to Lilith’s inspection, and inspect she did. Her eyes roamed Zelda’s curves, taking in the lacy bra and panties she wore. And Zelda allowed it, until she leaned against the rack to pull on the leggings, slowly tugging them up and over her hips. She reached for top, and in the dim light brushed Lilith’s hand. 

Moving closer, Lilith leaned in towards Zelda’s face, and after plucking a stray leaf from her hair, she stayed close, holding Zelda’s gaze. Something dark and hungry in Lilith’s eyes caused Zelda’s breath to catch.

_I need a drink,_ Zelda thought as she backed away, pulling the tunic over her head, running her fingers through the damp waves of her hair. 

Lilith pulled off her wet top, giving Zelda the full view of her turquoise bra, and the toned, freckled arms she’d seen earlier. She noticed some dark scarring near the crooks of Lilith’s arms, wondering what could have caused it, but the thought was quickly forgotten as her phone signaled ‘Low Battery’.

“Better find that charger soon. I think I might have one in my purse. How about I go look for it and you find us somewhere to get comfortable because I think this is going to be a long night,” Zelda requested, and Lilith nodded her head in agreement.

The wind rattled the front doors then, a screaming sound that Zelda remembered from nightmares long after the hurricanes had passed.

Biting her lip, Lilith’s eyes flashed with fear. “I think I’ll go with you. I don’t know the layout of this place well enough, and I think I saw some flashlights near the employee entrance earlier.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” Lilith’s quiet presence beside her grounded Zelda, took the edge of her own nerves because she focused on Lilith’s state of mind. “We're going to be fine, you know. This place was still standing after Nate in 2017 and it will survive this one too.”

They made their way quickly to the back of the store, both of them sensing the danger increasing outside as the wind and rain steadily increased in volume.

Grabbing her charger, a portable weather radio and her Yeti, Zelda walked out of her office, and Lilith pressed two flashlights into her still empty hand, their fingers brushing again.

“Hey, thanks for trying to make me feel better. We didn’t get storms like this in Tennessee, just leftover rain sometimes when they passed through.”

Navigating the darkened store was easier now with the flashlights, and they found the outdoor department, settling near a campsite display. Lilith snagged two large lanterns powered by hand cranks and began to work on them, and Zelda plugged in her phone by an emergency beacon, sinking to the floor beside it and polishing off what was in her cooler.

“When you’re finished there, let’s go get some snacks. It’s nearly 8 and I haven’t eaten today,” Zelda called as she set up some chairs and opened some sleeping bags to spread out on the floor.

Strolling along, Zelda made her first stop the liquor shelves. Running her fingers along the edge, she stopped under the most expensive brand of vodka they sold.

“Want anything? One of the perks of being the manager is that I have all the keys so we can drink our cares away,” Glancing at Lilith, she saw her hold up a carton of Marlboro Menthols.

“No liquor for me, but I’ll take these.”

Zelda shrugged, “Okay, suit yourself. I’ll take a carton of Marlboro Gold while you’re there.”

Adding some chips, cookies, powdered donuts, and a gallon of orange juice so Zelda could mix herself a screwdriver or five, they made their way back to the area they’d staked out. 

Lilith sprawled out on one of the sleeping bags, tearing open the carton of cigarettes to unwrap the plastic from the small box.

“Fuck, we forgot a lighter,” Lilith said, then realizing she’d cursed in front of her boss she quickly added, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to -”

“Curse? Are you kidding? You just saw me in my underwear not 30 minutes ago, don’t think a few off-color words will bother me, we are way past that,” Zelda threw a lighter towards her.

“Are we way past that? So where exactly are we then?” Lilith lit a cigarette, opening the pack of Solo cups, taking out one for an ashtray.

_Bold, aren’t you?_ Zelda was unable to stifle a laugh at Lilith’s nervous apologetic confidence.

“We are sitting here in a dark Walmart in Gulfport, Mississippi, hoping the roof holds out during a Category 3 hurricane.” She moved to look at her phone, the charge at about 75% so she took it and sat down in a camp chair, finding she couldn’t lay on the floor on a sleeping bag next to the woman that had occupied her lust-filled mind over the past day.

Her phone rang, a glaring sound in the midst of the quiet, hushed store.

Faustus was on the other end of the call, his voice muffled by what sounded like a party going on in the background.

“Zeldy, where are you?” She started to answer, but didn’t want to yell with Lilith right there, unwittingly listening in. 

“Faustus, I can barely hear you…..Oh, is it real bad there?.....You’ll what?.....Alright then I’ll see you soon.” 

She disconnected right after she heard him drunkenly slur a drink order, and texted Hilda to tell her she was safe.

Lilith had opened the powdered donuts and a Diet Coke she’d gotten, tapping out her cigarette before she bit into one of the messy things.

“You can charge your phone if you want. Mine’s about done,” Zelda indicated the charger on the wall. 

Lilith shook her head, “That’s okay.”

Opening the package of cookies, Zelda also poured a small amount of orange juice into her Yeti, filling the rest of the space with vodka, swirling it around with her finger, then turned it up, enjoying the burn as it went down her throat. She nibbled on a cookie and met Lilith’s curious gaze.

“My husband works in Biloxi at one of the casinos, and has decided to endure the storm in the bar.” She said in explanation.

“Is that safe? Aren’t those buildings right on the water?” Lilith incredulously asked.

“Oh he’ll be okay. He always manages to land on his feet,” Zelda took another drink, feeling the effects more quickly than normal due to the quality of the vodka and her lack of stomach contents.

“How long have you been married?” 

“This August will be 19 years. Seems longer though.” Zelda listened to the heavy rain beating on the roof. “Are you married?”

Lilith shook her head. “Never been married. Almost once, but it didn’t take.”

“You said you were from Tennessee, how long have you lived in Mississippi?” Zelda asked politely.

“Just about a week, my brother brought me down here after I found this job. He helped me find a place, the one next to you,” she smiled at that, and Zelda smiled back.

“We haven’t exactly given you a warm welcome, have we?”

“Oh, I don’t know, the beach is beautiful, I have my own place,” Lilith seemed to lose herself in thought for a second. Then she met Zelda’s eyes. “And some people have made me feel very welcome.”

Zelda shifted in her chair, uncrossing her legs, then recrossing them, a fact that didn’t seem to escape Lilith’s notice.

“I try to be friendly to all the employees here.” Zelda held her voice steady, taking another drink and lighting a cigarette.

Lilith reached over to hand her the cup she was using as an ashtray, and Zelda noticed a tattoo on her wrist.

“Who’s ‘Brina?” she asked as she inhaled deeply, the nicotine and vodka working together to give her a good buzz. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Lilith laughed deeply, throwing back her head as if Zelda had told the best joke she’d ever heard.

“She’s my daughter,” she finally said when she caught her breath.

“Oh, I haven’t seen a child around.” Zelda finished off her drink and poured herself another, vodka only this time. “How old is she?”

Watching the amount of vodka the redhead poured in the cup, Lilith answered her, lighting up another cigarette, and looking off in the distance.

“She just turned five,” She smiled as if she remembered something, then turned to meet Zelda’s eyes. “She’s not here. She doesn’t live with me.”

_To not be with your five year old child, your little girl,_ she thought. Zelda's eyes showed the empathy she felt, but she also knew that Lilith must have really screwed up to lose her child. Or maybe she gave her child away purposefully, doing what was best for her.

Lilith continued on, letting out a breath she was holding. “Might as well tell you, since I’m hoping she will someday, and I won’t have to explain it to you then.” She seemed to wait for Zelda’s approval, so the redhead nodded for her to continue.

“It was a condition of my parole. That and rehab. I lied to you. I’ve been in Mississippi for four months, at a rehabilitation facility in Pascagoula. When I did my 90 days they helped me get this job, and my brother came to help me move.”

As she shared, Zelda drank more from her cup, the vodka giving her that particular sensation she so craved, the dull pressure of nothingness settling into her spine, her inhibitions and filters loosening her thoughts and tongue.

“What did you do to get arrested?” Her words came out slightly slurred.

Looking down, she muttered, “Heroin possession.”

Zelda just nodded, the marks on her arms now making sense. “We all make mistakes. And you’ve done your time in rehab.” But her heart broke for the loss of her time with her child.

The conversation went quiet between them, and they smoked together, sharing the ashtray, Zelda continually sipping from her cup, completely drunk now, eventually lying down on the sleeping bag next to Lilith.

“I meant to tell you, your hair looks real pretty that color.” Lilith reached over to rub a lock between her fingers.

“Haha, it’s too red, I was going to wash it before I came to work and then I got the call to come and didn’t have time,” Zelda rattled on, rolling over on her back, and laughing at nothing at all.

“You are drunker than drunk, Mrs. Blackwood,” Lilith grinned down at her, sliding closer, and Zelda felt heat pooling between her legs, the fantasies she’d had about this streaming through her mind.

“What should we do about that, Lilith?” Zelda reached up to tuck a lock of the brunette’s hair behind her ear.

“I don’t know for sure, but I can think of a few things.” Lilith winked. “Want to fuck?”

Zelda’s laugh rang out across the store, a pure uninhibited sound.

“Who am I to pass up a pretty woman like yourself?” And she unsteadily climbed on top of the woman, rolling Lilith onto her back, then stopped, looking down at her. “Are you sure?”

“Hell yes, I’ve wanted this since I found your smoking spot and you marched outside to reclaim it.”

Lilith grabbed the sleeves of Zelda’s shirt and pulled her down to meet her lips, then rolled the redhead onto her back, their lips still connected, mouths opening, the taste of cigarettes, vodka, and chocolate mixing together as their tongues met greedily.

An ungodly moan came from nowhere, and Zelda realized it had come from her as Lilith’s toned thigh met her center, rubbing lightly. Zelda’s hands wrapped in Lilith’s abundant hair, tugging and stroking the silky locks, tangling in the curls as she scratched the woman’s scalp. They continued kissing, mouths moving against the other tantalizingly, while Zelda began to rock against the muscle pressed more firmly where she needed it. 

Moving down Zelda’s neck, Lilith bit the tensed muscle she found, and Zelda’s hips began to move more rapidly, seeking the friction she needed. She gasped when Lilith’s teeth and lips closed around her earlobe, the suction and pain going straight to her core. 

Hips moving uncontrollably now, Zelda grabbed the sides of Lilith’s shirt as she came, the sensations reaching down through her legs, and they shook from the release she felt.

“Christ,” she panted, trying to catch her breath. 

“And we’re still wearing our clothes.” Lilith lit a cigarette, inhaling deeply, then handing it to Zelda who took a drag then tapped it off.

Lilith took it and inhaled once more, then stubbed it out, sitting up to pull off her top. Zelda was greeted with the sight of her bronzed body, and she lightly stroked along the line of her ribs, Lilith moving away slightly and squirming.

“Are you ticklish?” Zelda sat up, straddling Lilith on either side of her hips, dragging her nails along the woman’s sides, leaving red marks in her wake. Lilith pressed her hips up, wiggling as Zelda held her pinned down.

“Zelda, _please._ Yes, for fuck’s sake I’m ticklish, and you’re driving me crazy.”

“Can’t have that, can we?” Zelda leaned forward, taking one of Lilith’s nipples into her mouth through the material of her bra, sucking as she continued the path of her nails up and down Lilith’s arms, the goosebumps rising after every stroke.

Reaching behind herself, Lilith removed her bra, and Zelda ran her nails over the now exposed tan skin, Lilith arching her back, her nipples begging for Zelda’s mouth, so she gave in, swirling her tongue around and around one while pinching and twisting the other.

“Oh fuck, fuck, damn, yesssss, Zeldaaaaa” The brunette’s hands held Zelda’s head in place as she moved back and forth between her breasts.

Moving down her body, Zelda marveled at the way her muscles twitched beneath her lips and tongue, and she moved her hand down to Lilith’s center, cupping her and feeling the heat there, and she swelled with pride at how affected the woman was.

She kissed along the line of her leggings, and Lilith moaned above her.

“Stop the teasing, I can’t take it anymore, just pull them off,” she begged, panting with the effort.

“Yes ma’am,” Zelda laughed, and she tugged them down slowly, taking her panties with them, until the evidence of her arousal shone in the dim light. 

Her legs parted willingly, and Zelda settled between them, her green eyes dark as she saw how far gone Lilith truly was. She looked up at the woman, their eyes meeting as she lowered her mouth to lick slow circles around her clit, simultaneously sliding two slow fingers inside Lilith.

Lilith gasped, overwhelmed with the sensations, and brought up a hand to squeeze a breast, but she knew she wasn’t going to last at the pace Zelda had set.

Crooking her fingers, a curl of her tongue as she swiped over her clit again and again, and Lilith was a goner, her climax hitting her like the wind striking the building around them. As Zelda worked her through her last aftershocks, Lilith reached out, grasping her free hand, intertwining their fingers in a gesture quite unlike anything Zelda was used to.

Lilith pulled Zelda up to her side, pulling her close, and kissing her to taste herself on the redhead’s lips. She wrapped one bare leg around Zelda’s still clothed body.

“You’re wearing too many clothes, boss.” So Zelda sat up to pull off her tunic, tossing it away, and Lilith peeled away each layer she wore, all while looking in her eyes, then looking on her body as if she were a goddess.

They continued on, giving and receiving, the storm raging outside into the wee hours of the morning, until sleep overtook Lilith, her head curled on Zelda’s chest.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The storm rages on the outside, but inside everything is just fine. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all I was just writing this crack fic, being all silly and I think it's turning into a love story.

_Oh, your body keeps me so warm_

_From that wind thats howlin through_

_You're a thunderstorm_

_And I love the way you move_

_-caught up in your storm - mickey guyton_

A steady rattling woke Zelda, the solar tiles on the roof beginning to loosen, and she laid there listening to the pounding of the wind and rain. The darkness still surrounded them, and she figured she’d only slept a few hours. 

She felt cotton-mouthed, tasting the vodka and the not so familiar flavor of Lilith on her lips. A numbness brought on by too much alcohol, not enough food still remained, but a groan below her heightened her senses, shocking her into propping herself up on her elbows to look down.

Silky brown waves draped over her breasts, the warmth of another body pressed up against her, an arm thrown over her in an unconscious gesture of possessiveness, and she waited for the inevitable, a jolt up her spine, a deep seated fear that usually accompanied this level of intimacy, the flight, because she’d never fight. But the feeling never arrived.

Not one to ruminate too deeply, she wrote it off to still being drunk. 

But when that sleeping face turned toward her, free of its habitual cockiness, the peace that accompanies deep satisfaction over her features, Zelda knew she was very, very sober. And laying naked on a sleeping bag. At her job. With a woman she’d known just over a day in her arms.

One of the clattering tiles finally broke loose, and the wind suddenly was much louder. Lilith sat up suddenly, looking around in confusion, reality dawning on her when she remembered whose breasts she was using as a pillow.

“What the hell was that?” she asked as she ran a hand through her tangled hair, not quite meeting Zelda’s eyes. It seemed the morning after was affecting her too. 

“Just a tile. The roof’s covered with them, and they sound like a bomb going off when they break. The wind has picked back up. I think we are on the back end of the storm now.”

They sat side by side smoking, Lilith eying the roof, more and more noise rattling her as much as the skylights. 

“Are you as thirsty as me?” Zelda looked at Lilith with questioning eyes, and Lilith finally met her there with a stare so direct it shook the redhead a bit. Lilith nodded, smoking the last of her cigarette, stubbing it out then taking Zelda’s to do the same.

“I’ve got an idea,” she quickly said, as if she had to convince herself before she changed her mind. She jumped up and dressed again, panties and tee, and she pulled Zelda to her feet, grabbing a flannel shirt from a nearby rack and tossing it her way. “Put this on so you’re not cold.”

Zelda slid her arms into the too large sleeves, not bothering to fasten any buttons but the middle ones, pulling on her panties as well, and followed Lilith’s almost giddy form down the dark aisles.

“Close your eyes, Zelda.” Laughing at the way Lilith turned and grabbed her two hands, pulling her along, she had no idea what the other woman had planned but was more than willing to go along with it, anything to forget this storm.

They reached their destination, a dark alcove near the coffee and cereal.

Leaning close to her ear, brushing her hair out of the way and sliding one hand inside her shirt to cup her breast, tweaking her nipple lightly with the tips of her fingers, increasing the pressure as the redhead reacted with a groan. Lilith whispered hotly, “I need you to trust me, and keep your eyes closed.”

Her hand was suddenly gone, and as Zelda closed her eyes, she pursed her lips in frustration. 

“I was enjoying that. How very rude of you to just leave me wanting.” She called out into the darkness, reaching for Lilith who had made off into the depths of the grocery department.

After a few quiet minutes with only the wind and rain beating on the roof and front doors, Lilith appeared again, a glass bottle knocking against something as she began by pressing something cool against Zelda’s pouting lips.

“So you were wanting something from me, were you? Open your mouth,” Lilith’s demanding voice sent shivers through Zelda. And she obeyed, Lilith holding the object just at the entrance, rubbing it along her lips until Zelda could take no more and she closed her mouth around it, biting down on a plump green grape, its juice rolling down her chin. She greedily opened it again, prompting Lilith to feed her a strawberry, Zelda groaned at that.

“Strawberries are my favorite, give me another.”

“So demanding,” Lilith leaned forward to pop it in her waiting mouth, only to pull away at the last second, causing Zelda to chase it, closing her teeth around the ripe fruit, seeds and sweet nectar dripping again to coat her chin and neck.

Zelda moaned at the tart under ripeness of the strawberry, wishing for something sweetly bitter to chase it.

As if Lilith read her mind, a glass was forced against her lips, and tipped back too rapidly for her to take in all of its contents, leaving it spill over the sides and down her chest. The woman clucked her tongue as Zelda swallowed the sparkling cider.

“What a mess you’ve made, Zelda. Guess you’re not as in control of this situation as you thought you were.”

Whimpering at that, her words caused an onslaught of arousal to flow through Zelda’s body, and Zelda only imagined the way Lilith must be smirking in satisfaction at the effect she was causing. 

Using only the tip of her tongue, Lilith surprised the redhead by tracing the path of the juice and Zelda whimpered, sinking her hands into the woman’s hair, pulling her lower. But Lilith stood, her task unfinished.

“Not quite ready for me yet, although you’re very tempting, what with that red sweetness dripping down your neck and cider covering the rest of you,” And she stopped to watch a drop continue down between the valley of her breasts, distracted, panting, forgetting everything she had planned to chase that runaway droplet.

Holding the next item under Zelda’s nose, Lilith watched Zelda’s puzzled face as she recognized the scent for what it was. Lilith helped Zelda down onto a blanket, the redhead’s breath rapid and thready, awaiting whatever Lilith had in mind for her.

“I want to taste your sweetness, Zelda. Would you let me do that?” She traced the waistband of her panties as she spoke.

Arching her hips towards the woman, Zelda groaned out her answer.

“You’d better make good on that, and soon.”

Ignoring the bossy tone and the superior look that passed over her strained features, Lilith took pity on her. 

Leaning down, she pressed her thigh against Zelda’s center just long enough for the woman to rut against it, seeking some relief. “This next fruit is my personal favorite,” Lilith whispered, moving her thigh to match the rhythm Zelda had created, then removing it to the redhead’s very vocal dissatisfaction.

“How long are you going to tease me?” Zelda whined, placing her own hand between her thighs, and Lilith quickly acted, grabbing her wrists and holding her hands out of the way.

Taking a piece of pineapple, Lilith rubbed it over the smooth surface of Zelda’s neck, the woman leaning her head back to give her more access, and she brought the cube up to her slightly parted lips, a taste of the sweet fruit, slightly tinged with juice running into her mouth.

“Lilith, god, yes, please,” Her words became more unintelligible as Lilith ran the rapidly warming pineapple between her breasts, around each nipple, giving herself a path to follow later, and Zelda arched her back, turning herself towards the moving droplets.

The purr of Lilith’s words only served to arouse her more. “So sugary and sticky, I wonder how sweet you really are?”

Finally placing the pineapple between her lips, Zelda bit down, opening her eyes to meet Lilith’s face above her. They studied each other for a long moment, and Lilith’s gaze went soft, her domination and command slipping away in the heat of the redhead’s smoldering eyes.

“Kiss me.” Her simple instruction held such feeling that Lilith was shocked into silence, and she gave in to Zelda’s wish quickly.

Their lips met in softness, an almost chaste kiss, but Lilith soon found her desires overwhelming her, and she pushed her tongue into Zelda’s waiting mouth, tasting all the sugary fruits as well as the honey that was Zelda.

“God, yes, whatever you want from me, just take it,” Zelda’s moans pierced the darkness around them, Lilith abandoning her reddened lips for her neck, following the trail the juice had taken, licking and scraping the sticky skin with her teeth, discovering a spot on Zelda’s jawline that caused the redhead’s hips to writhe when she sucked on it. 

The teasing kisses, sprinkled with pecks and bites moved lower, moving between her arching breasts, her tongue finally chasing the droplets that ran down. Lilith unbuttoned the flannel shirt, exposing Zelda’s pale, lightly freckled chest, and latched onto one aroused nipple causing Zelda to buck up into her own hips. She pressed down, aligning their centers, and lifting her own head to moan at the sensation.

“Fuck, Zelda, I can’t even tell you how that feels.” 

Zelda moved her hips again, enjoying the reaction from Lilith, but when Lilith bit down on her nipple, all thought was gone. 

They rocked together, and Zelda could feel herself rapidly approaching her peak, the sensations of Lilith’s teeth and fingers squeezing and pressing her breasts taking her over. Lilith shuddered above her as she found her own satisfaction, a sly grin covering her face at the condition she had left the redhead, sticky and sated.

But she wasn’t finished.

Sliding her body down, she pulled Zelda’s panties out of the way, throwing them to the side with a devious look that caused Zelda to rock her hips again and her breath to catch.

“Still haven't tasted you, have I? I’m still very thirsty, and I can only think of one thing that will quench that.”

Zelda had to laugh at the mock seriousness on the brunette’s face, but her laughter died when Lilith’s lips met her center, slowly licking away all the juices that dripped down Zelda’s heated body, meeting together to mingle with the essence that was Zelda. She brought Zelda to another peak quickly with her tongue and fingers, and then moved up to lay beside the still panting redhead.

Stroking the sweaty strands of hair away from the redhead’s flushed face, Lilith propped herself up on her elbow. 

“That was…” Zelda found herself at a loss for words, her fingers caressing the sharp plains of Lilith’s face. “You certainly know your way around this store, and you acted like you’d get lost earlier. Was that a ploy to get me to comfort you?”

Lilith's rich laughter filled the aisle, and she shook her head.

“No, not at all. Me, using tricks to get closer to you?”

Zelda shrugged, not minding any of the brunette’s tricks one bit.

Laying her head again on Zelda’s chest, she traced circles on the smooth skin of Zelda’s stomach, lazily dipping lower into her folds without any true purpose or goal.

The next thing Zelda knew, it was the quiet sounds of early morning that woke her. Lilith had curled up beside her, spooning her from behind.

She wanted a shower and a strong cup of coffee, but she knew she’d get neither anytime soon. The stickiness of the fruit remained on her skin and between her legs, causing her to smile, caressing the hand that rested below her breasts.

“Lilith,” she shook the brunette, speaking in a low voice. “Lilith, people might be coming by soon to check on the store. The storm is over.”

After shaking themselves awake, Lilith found Zelda’s panties draped over a Cheerios box. 

“Want some?” Lilith had opened the box and was happily munching away.

Laughing, Zelda held out her hand, intending to dip it into the box, when she was pelted with cereal.

“Two can play at that game.” Grabbing the box, she snatched out a handful and threw them at Lilith who only opened her mouth to catch the incoming volley.

They gathered their things, Zelda placing them into a large garbage bag, intending to carry it to their makeshift campsite.

The dull light of the morning clearly showed the damage the store had suffered, leaks raining down water from the places tiles had ripped away from the flat roof. She knew she should be noting all these places, jotting down their locations, moving merchandise out of the steady drips, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not quite ready to resume being “Manager Zelda”, the redhead strolled leisurely next to Lilith as they dodged puddles on the floor. 

A rack of girl’s clothes blocked their path, and they both pushed it back to its proper spot.

“What’s she like?” Zelda asked quietly, fingering one of the little dresses on a neighboring rack.

“What’s who like?” Lilith returned the question, glancing up to see Zelda staring at some far away point on the wall. “Oh, you mean Brina?”

“Yes, Brina,” Zelda said simply.

“Sweet, she’s a precious thing most of the time. Big brown eyes, curly hair. But don’t cross her. She’s too much like her mama then,” Lilith smiled broadly at that. “Why do you want to know ‘bout her?”

“No real reason, I guess. I was thinking I would hate to be away from my daughter if I had one. It must be hard for you,” The sympathy Zelda felt for Lilith was evident.

“It’s just for now. She saw me do some things I’m not proud of, and she’s better off with her daddy til I get myself together. And then I can convince a judge she needs to be with me again.” Lilith spoke with confidence about her plan. “I’m almost 5 months clean.”

Smiling wanly, Zelda shook her head sadly. “But all the time you’ve lost…”

“What can I do about that? _God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change_ and all.” Lilith shrugged, turning away from Zelda to pick up some items that had dropped.

“I suppose,” Zelda moved on, finding her other clothing and redressing quietly, Lilith did the same.

Finding the bottle of vodka she’d left behind, Zelda uncorked it and finished it off, flinching at the feel of lukewarm alcohol making its way down, Lilith watching her curiously.

The cartons of cigarettes lay invitingly open, and Lilith retrieved the lighter. She lit two and held one out to Zelda, who took it readily.

“Let’s clean this up and then we can go home.” She spoke, sliding safely into her managerial role again.

“Yes, ma’am,” Lilith agreed, and Zelda didn’t correct her this time.

Soon satisfied the area they’d occupied looked no worse for the wear, Zelda found her phone with several missed calls, the one from corporate office at the top of the list.

She hit redial and the man on the other end answered quickly.

“Yes, yes Mark, the store is still standing…..oh really, 130 miles per hour?.....no, we lost power and it’s still off now…..um, yes, I will go check on the condition of the store as soon as I can,” she looked at Lilith then, rolling her eyes, but Lilith’s eyes seemed tired and vacant now. “What did you say? I’m sorry the connection must be bad…..I will call you with a report as quick as I can…..thank you, Mark…..Bye.”

Texting Hilda she was okay, she looked up at Lilith who was now staring at her dead phone. 

“Do you want to use mine, call and check on anybody?”

She shook her head, “I’ll call later.”

They made their way back to Zelda’s office where Lilith walked into the darkness to retrieve her keys from her locker. She reappeared in the doorway as Zelda was pulling her keys from her bag, walking towards the entrance. Lilith glanced around the dimly lit room, her eyes fixing on a picture behind Zelda’s desk.

“What’s he like?” She pointed at the picture, her face a mix of curious distance. “Mr. Blackwood.”

Zelda turned to look at the picture, one Hilda had taken when they had all gone on a cruise around Mobile Bay, before Faustus had gambled all their vacation money away at the blackjack table and Cerberus had to pay for their room.

Chuckling, Zelda shook her head, a wry smile crossing her face.

“He’s a man child, really. I married a mama’s boy.”

Lilith’s brows lifted, and she cocked her head to the side.

“Where’d you meet him?”

“I was a server at the Scarlet Pearl in D’Iberville and he was working at his daddy’s construction firm in Biloxi. He came in with his friends, stared at my tits and slapped me on the ass on the way out the door. The next night he came in by himself, waited til I finished my shift and took me to dinner. Two weeks later I was meeting his parents at their beach house. Things moved pretty fast from there.”

“He doesn’t sound too awful. And his family has money,” Lilith ventured.

“Correction, had money. His mama died about five years after we married, and his daddy cut him off. Faustus is a gambler, you see.”

Zelda moved past her as she walked toward the exit, garbage bag full of the remnants of their evening in her hand.

Opening the back door, the bright light caused her to squint painfully. She fished her sunglasses out of her bag, smoothing down her hair as she caught a glance of herself in their reflection.

She walked to the dumpster, opening one side and tossing in the bag. Only then did she realize her car wasn’t where she left it. Supposing the wind and water had done it, she found it on its side, resting against the embankment behind the store. The retention pond lay just feet away and she looked at it forlornly.

Lilith was walking to her Jeep, still parked right next to the building where she’d left it.

“Do you think you can give me a ride?” Zelda called and Lilith nodded.

Lilith opened the side door, grateful she’d remembered to snap closed the cloth sides leaving the interior dry and smelling slightly musty. She walked around to remove the door from the passenger side, watching as Zelda adjusted the rearview mirror to get a look at herself, then tried to wipe away her smeared mascara. 

“You still look real pretty, not like you survived a hurricane or anything.”

They shared a smile, but then Lilith wet her thumb, running it along the edge of Zelda’s lip, wiping away leftover strawberry. She brought her thumb to her mouth, licking the tip while holding Zelda’s eyes.

“Taste real sweet too,” And she walked around to slide behind the wheel, starting the Jeep as she watched Zelda squirm in her seat, her face burning.

They drove the short route to their trailer park, devastation all around them. Road crews were already on the scene to clear the streets, Mississippi Power trucks repairing downed lines. The traffic lights were out, causing a bit of chaos, but people weren’t out yet, and things were quiet.

Zelda watched Lilith out of the corner of her eye, one hand on the wheel, the other holding back her hair as it blew around her face. In the light of day she was struck by how beautiful the woman was, how confidently she held herself.

“You make me feel funny, staring at me like that. I might wreck,” The lightness was back in her tone, the cockiness Zelda found quite endearing.

Slapping her on the thigh, Zelda laughed. “You wish I was staring at you. I was only looking at all the fallen trees, making sure you were seeing all of them so you _wouldn’t_ wreck.”

They pulled into the drive of the mobile home park, and both gasped at what they saw. Trees had crushed many of the trailers, and wind had upended a few. 

“Those pine trees always fall during storms, but this looks like a tornado came through,” Zelda looked fearfully towards their section of the park, unable to tell if her home still stood.

Passing what was once a doublewide, they saw only shreds of plywood where the owner had boarded up the windows. Insulation covered the ground and pieces of what had once been a neighbor’s life. They both hoped aloud that the occupants had heeded the evacuation order.

Finally rounding the curve, they saw Zelda’s trailer standing, the porch having taken some damage with part of the roof missing, but the structure still intact.

“Thank god for that,” Zelda sighed. “But Lilith…”

She pointed towards the weathered singlewide, Lilith’s eyes widening as she looked. A pine tree had smashed through the structure, flattening it at an angle. Through the windows they could see that each room had been damaged. There was no way it was livable.

Lilith sighed, “Guess I’d better go and see if I can salvage anything.”

Leaving her bag on the Jeep seat, Zelda followed her. 

“I’ll help you, if you want.”

Nodding, Lilith pried open the door and a pool of water on the floor greeted her.

“Be careful, this is pretty dangerous. Maybe you should wait outside.” 

Zelda shook her head. “No, I’ve done this before, I know about the carpet nails that can poke straight through your shoes, the bent metal you can cut your hands on, and all the other obstacles. Let’s just get your stuff and go.”

Lilith found her closet, taking out her meager belongings and handing them off to Zelda, along with several framed photos of who Zelda guessed to be her daughter.

“She is a beautiful child, Lilith. I can see her mama in her, look at all those curly ringlets. She’s going to be a stunner.”

“A real heartbreaker already if you ask her daddy. I miss her.” Lilith’s voice held the sadness she felt.

Zelda gingerly walked out the door, and they stood on the parking pad, the sun breaking through and warming the moist air around them.

“Come stay with us, at least until you decide where to go,” Zelda held out the offer, but Lilith hesitated.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Zelda. You and me just, I just don’t know.”

“If you're worried about Faustus, believe me, that’s not a problem. He’s about as observant as a blind man, and he’s in his recliner watching tv most of the time anyway. He might not even notice you’re there.”

“If you think it’s not a problem, I surely don’t mind not spending money on a hotel. Okay, but just one night, maybe two.”

Zelda took her own things, plus some of Lilith’s clothes and crossed the short path between their trailers. She opened the back door to the porch, the sagging roof on one side letting in the dripping rain from the roof above. 

Blowing out a breath through her lips, Zelda sadly looked at her favorite reading spot. 

“Come on in,” she gestured for Lilith to follow her. “The extra bedroom is just back here.”

Glancing around, Zelda didn’t notice any damage except for a few extra water stains marking the already blotched ceiling.

Noticing how Lilith’s eyes took in everything, Zelda grimaced at the mess she hadn’t had time to deal with, embarrassment clouding her features. “I’ve been so busy lately, cleaning was on my to do list for my days off.”

“This is fine, Zelda. You have a nice house. I’ve always wanted an open space like yours, so many windows to let the sun just pour in,” Lilith genuinely smiled as she spoke.

Stopping in front of the door, Zelda pushed it open hard, the sound of metal on metal causing the frame to squeak against the door jamb. “It sticks sometimes when it rains.”

The room was dark, but Lilith walked on in, taking her clothes from Zelda’s arms. “I think I’m going to go ahead and change if you don’t mind.”

“Do what makes you comfortable. There’s a bathroom attached if you want to take a shower. Towels are under the sink.”

“Thanks, I really appreciate you taking me in, and I hope this isn’t -”

Her words were cut off by the glass door sliding open, and Faustus entering the kitchen. His dark eyes met Lilith’s as he glanced down the hallway.

“Well, well, well, who do we have here? You didn’t tell me we were having company, Zeldy.” Zelda curled her lip at the way he used her nickname.

“This is our neighbor, Faustus, and as you can see, a tree fell on her home during the storm. So I offered her a room for the night.”

He pinched the blinds open to peer over at Lilith’s trailer, shaking his head and clucking his tongue.

“That’s a crying shame. Guess you weren’t home when the hurricane blew through then, what did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t and it’s Lilith,” the brunette spoke up. “And yes, I was very lucky.”

“Didn’t see your car outside,” he faced Zelda, a strange look on his face.

“Well, no, it’s still at the store. Wind and water turned it over. I’m not sure if it’s salvageable. Lilith gave me a ride here.”

“So you work with my wife,” Lilith nodded in response to his statement. 

“We were caught when the storm blew in; we couldn’t get out in time, so we stayed there all night,” Zelda explained, her patience wearing thin.

“Ahh, so you were together,” his face showed a realization, the puzzle pieces all forming a picture in his mind.

“Yes, Faustus, that’s what I just said,” Zelda’s tone held no time or tolerance for the third degree he was giving her.

“I’m going to go take that shower now, if y’all don’t mind,” she turned on her heel and closed the door as quietly as she could.

Zelda faced her husband with rage in her eyes. “That was rude and uncalled for. She had nowhere to go and I let her stay here, what is it to you?”

“Who else was with you last night?” he demanded. “Were you alone with her?”

“Why, what does that matter?” she countered.

He pushed her towards the mirror in their bedroom, standing behind her as she looked at herself.

She swallowed thickly as she saw what he saw, the hickeys marking her neck, an especially large one marring her jawline. 

“That’s why!” he said loudly. “And you brought her into our home?”

“If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is! Here you are accusing me of whatever it is you’re trying to infer, and you’ve got lipstick all over your shirt collar!” She knew she was fighting a losing battle.

“This is different, I was holed up with guests, that must’ve have gotten on me by accident.”

“Really, Faustus, really? The least you could do is be honest.”

“Me? The proof of what you did on your neck and in our bathroom, and I’m the bad guy here?”

She glared at him.

“When you did this years ago with, what was her name, Kylie, I forgave you, I took you back, and you said never again.”

“Kylie meant something to me. You threatened her, threatened to tell her husband, ruin her life. You ran her off.”

“You’re MY wife! You took a vow, you promised to love and obey me. You made lots of promises you haven’t kept.”

“Like you said you’d stop gambling, settle down, that we could start a family! And where are your promises now?”

They both heard the water turn off, the pipes groaning after being unused for a day.

“You’re never gonna let it go, are you? Never gonna just accept the fact that you will never be a mother. Hell, you’re hardly a decent wife. Chasing girls, sleeping with them and everyone thinking you’re so high and mighty over there at that store. And now look at ya, taking up with the trash you work with. My mama was right about you, you’re nothing, Zelda Spellman. You’re pure trash.”

“Zelda,” they both turned at the voice at the door. “I-I’m gonna go.”

“Lilith, wait,” Zelda moved to her side. 

“You can come with me, right now, we can just go.”

Zelda shook her head. “I can’t go right now, I have to report back to the store soon.”

Lilith turned towards Zelda as she reached the door.

Something deeper than what had happened during the storm passed between them, emotions they both felt, but Faustus stepped up behind Zelda, his eyes full of fury.

Zelda watched Lilith get in her Jeep and drive away, a cloud of brown hair flying behind her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello angst, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again.

Caught up in your storm

Dont need no shelter from you

Oh, your body keeps me so warm

From that wind thats howlin through

-caught up in your storm - mickey guyton

Still standing at the window five minutes later, Zelda wondered how this had all spun so completely out of control. And she knew she needed a drink.

Taking a half full bottle of wine into the bedroom, she didn’t bother with a glass, unscrewing the top and turning the bottle up even though she knew she’d be called back to work soon. She stripped down to her underwear, the scent of fruit and sex covering her clothes.

Not normally one for sentimentality, she stood in front of the mirror, tracing the deep purple and rosy marks on her neck and jaw. Her fingers traced the path Lilith’s lips had taken, nipples hardening at the memory. There was something to be said for feeling desirable, and as she drank the last of the wine, her anger toward Faustus amplified. _He had no right…_

Stepping into the shower though, the wine centering and separating her from her annoyance, she focused on what she could do, what she had control over. 

She texted Bobbie Jo after she dried her hair, explaining that her car was waylaid outside the store, hanging up quickly when the woman agreed to swing by and pick her up.

When she sat at her vanity table brushing her hair, applying thick concealer over the bruise at her jaw, Elvis’ lopsided grin stared at her from the side mirror. 

“This is all your doing,” she smiled back at the tiny photo. “That damn Flaming Star.”

Buttoning the neck of the high-collared blouse she wore, she knew she looked overdressed for hurricane recovery, but she brushed that thought aside. The very idea anyone could think she’d been marked up by her husband as they waited out the hurricane in flickering candlelight, some sort of romantic scenario her employees could spread all over like some two-bit Lifetime movie plot caused her to button the top two buttons. Her jaw looked slightly purple in the 60 watt bulb of the vanity table, but she’d done her best.

The honk of a car horn caused her to leap up, bruise forgotten as she grabbed her nametag and phone.

Faustus sat in his chair, barely looking up as she passed through. She didn’t give his cold shoulder a second thought, slipping her feet into some flats.

“When you gonna be back?” he finally snarled as she reached the door.

Zelda shrugged, lifting her hands to signal she had no idea.

“The roof was leaking pretty badly, so there’s that to deal with,” she waved at Bobbie Jo through the window to let her know she was coming. “Speaking of roofs, could you call our insurance today? Maybe the adjustor can come while we’re home and look at the damage we took.”

He grunted in response. 

Briefly wondering what was going through his mind as he watched the Weather Channel, the remnants of the storm now spinning across the Carolinas, Zelda was glad for the escape she had. 

“Will you go in today?” she asked, a note of hope in her tone.

“Didn’t have time to tell ya. Hard Rock didn’t fare too well in them winds. Got a text a while ago, I’m out of a job.”

Her fingers on the door handle, she paused long enough to close her eyes, a sinking feeling of déjà vu in her stomach.

He continued on, seeming not to notice how distressed she was.

“I oughta just go work at your store. But then I might cut in on your action. Wouldn’t want that.” 

Reclining his chair as far back as possible, he turned back to the television and his beer.

She took that as her dismissal, and she hesitated long enough for him to look her way, but then slid open the door. When she confronted him again on that particular topic she didn’t want it to be on the way to work.

Bobbie Jo was tapping her fingers against the steering wheel when Zelda opened the passenger door.

“Thanks for the ride; my car is still at the store, unless it’s been towed.”

Her small eyes took in Zelda’s appearance from head to toe. 

“What you all dressed up for? We’re just goin’ to look over the damage and get with corporate about what to do next.”

“Nothing really,” Zelda looked at Bobbie Jo’s jeans and Walmart t shirt, nametag resting above her right breast. “Do y’all have lights?”

“No, Billy’s gone to get a generator if he can find one. All my frozen foods are rotted by now anyway. He always waits til the last minute to do anything,” the other woman twisted her long, ever present braid around her finger. Her mousy brown hair seemed even more streaked with grey after the stress of the storm.

Zelda let her rattle on with the story of a freezer full of spoiled venison and Omaha steaks, catching sight of a Jeep much like Lilith’s parked in front of the First Presbyterian Church, the parking lot half full. She turned her head to look back as Bobbie Jo drove by.

“And so I told him, Billy, I said, you better not let that thing leak all over my carport. So he went to hunt for a generator. Lazy son of a bitch,” Bobbie took a sip from the Diet Dr. Pepper in her console, Zelda snickering at her apt description of the man she’d been living with for the better part of a decade. “He better have that mess cleaned up when I come home is all I know.”

They pulled into the strip mall that WalMart anchored on the west side, deserted today and littered with debris from nearby roofs and broken plastic signage. Bobbie Jo drove around the back, and Zelda noticed her car had been righted, but was dented on one side pretty badly.

Using her key card, the shorter woman swiped them both in, and the heat and moisture from the lack of power and air circulation hit them like a sauna.

“We are going to have to call corporate now and decide what to do with all of the rotted food here too,” Zelda drew out her phone, a pair of panties falling on the ground as she did. 

Bobbie Jo’s eyes widened as Zelda stuffed them back in her bag.

“It was just, I mean, I forgot to-.” 

“No need to explain anything to me. What you and that good lookin’ man of yours do and where you do it ain’t none of my business,” Bobbie Jo smirked, her bright eyes twinkling in her doughy face. “Hell, I’m just jealous. Billy and me rode out the storm in our bathroom, taking turns letting little Fancy out to tinkle.”

It was Zelda’s turn to roll her eyes at Bobbie Jo’s devotion to her Schnauzer, going so far as to take the dog out to do her business in the middle of a hurricane. She realized Bobbie Jo thought she and Faustus had escaped somewhere away from their trailer, and she thought fast to shore up that lie.

“He was very concerned about my safety, of course, so he came and got me before the wind got too high. We drove inland a ways before we stopped and spent the night.”

“Sure, honey, he’s a true gentleman to see about you like that.”

Zelda headed to her office, cutting off the conversation before she dug herself too deep. 

After a conference call with Bentonville, it had been decided they would clear out the frozen foods. Zelda went to rent several dumpsters. Bobbie Jo did an inspection, noting roof damage, and she held an empty container of pineapple along with a red Solo cup full of cigarette butts when Zelda met her by the grocery area.

“The cup was by that big tent display by the gun cabinet and this here was laying in the middle of the coffee aisle. There was pineapple all over the floor too,” Bobbie Jo shrugged. “Not sure what all that was about. Almost looks like someone was here last night.”

Zelda desperately wanted a cigarette, cursing herself for being so careless.

“We need to call in some people to start the cleanup. I’ll go take care of that if you’d start on the paperwork we’ll need for all the disposal,” Zelda attempted to hand off the stack of papers she held, but Bobbie Jo shook her head.

“Why don’t I help you call? I know how much you hate cold calling workers like that.” She was already walking back in the direction of their joint office, her phone in hand.

Not sure how she could escape for needed nicotine, Zelda followed her, sitting behind the desk and pulling up her spreadsheet of employee phone numbers.

“I know you’re gonna want a lot of heavy lifters for this job, but how about that new hire, what’s her name? Um, Lillian, Lily, no wait, Lilith. She seemed like she could hold her own with the men yesterday.”

Zelda’s heart started pounding at the mention of Lilith’s name, and she was sure Bobbie Jo would see her hands shake as she reached for the landline on her desk.

“She’s on my list here,” Zelda swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. “I’ll give her a call. I’m sure she’ll be a real asset to the cleanup crew.” 

Picking up her cell phone to call instead, Zelda punched in the number, anxious to know how Lilith was, where she had gone when she left, and what was going through her mind about what she had overheard as she and Faustus argued.

The phone rang several times before a breathless voice answered. 

“Hello?”

Heat pooled between Zelda's legs at the sound of her voice.

“Uh, this is Zelda Blackwood at, uh, Walmart. To whom am I speaking?”

A pause was followed by an exhale, and then Lilith spoke.

“Zelda, you know it’s me.”

“Yes, well, I wondered if you might be able to come in for a shift every day this week, probably from eight until five. We are starting the cleanup process and I feel like you’d be a good fit for the crew.”

Fighting to keep her voice steady, images of Lilith above her, her fingers driving Zelda to orgasm again and again were filling her mind.

“I can probably do that. Do I need to come in today?”

Zelda thought for a moment, Bobbie Jo looking at her strangely as she fiddled with the collar of her blouse, exposing the deep purple bruises covering her neck.

“If you can come in today, you could start moving merchandise around to rearrange the things not damaged by the leaks in the roof. Yes, why don’t you do that, maybe in an hour?”

Lilith agreed and they hung up. Zelda felt the blush rise up her neck at the reaction she had to the conversation alone, the knowledge she would soon see Lilith again causing a slickness between her thighs.

They made their way through the list of workers, asking six to come in and start the slow process of water damage discovery and repair.

By the time Zelda looked up to see workers shuffling in the back door, she had completed the necessary paperwork for storm repair, and was ready to supervise the crew they’d assembled for freezer cleanout.

She led the group over to the freezer area, large carts already surrounding the space, and she began to give instructions on what to dispose of and what to keep. Noticing Lilith at the back of the group standing with another woman she tried to catch her eye, but Lilith seemed to be very interested in what her colleague was whispering about and ignored Zelda’s instructions altogether. 

When the group got to work, Lilith went to a section with the worker she’d been standing with, and they were chatting away when Zelda happened by, introducing herself to the other woman she learned was named Sheryl, asking if they needed anything.

Shaking her head, Lilith went about her work, not looking Zelda’s way. 

Zelda was puzzled by Lilith’s odd behavior, and tried not to seem obvious in her attempts to capture the brunette’s attention. But Lilith was laser focused on the woman she worked alongside.

Walking away, she glanced back to see Lilith lifting a box into the cart, her midriff exposed as she reached over the side. The tips of Zelda’s fingers tingled with the memory of that soft skin, how she’d relentlessly teased her until Lilith was begging, pleading with Zelda to fuck her. That need for a cigarette earlier was reasserting itself now.

She walked out the side exit, the retention pond beside the store overflowing and creating a slim strip of dry land between it and the building. Locating the coffee can, she leaned against the wall and lit the cigarette, its smoky companionship relaxing her immediately.

Thinking Lilith might have joined her for a smoke, she glanced towards the hourly employees smoking area as she walked towards the parking area. Among the small group, head thrown back in laughter, was Lilith, sitting close to Sheryl. Zelda shook her head, but couldn’t dwell on Lilith’s strange actions.

The day wore on, one freezer section was nearly cleaned, and the workers they’d called in for a few hours started leaving one by one, until Lilith and Sheryl remained. Zelda hung around a bit longer, hoping to catch Lilith alone.

“How much more remains in the section you were cleaning out?” She walked into the employee break room, finding Sheryl and Lilith drinking cokes and laughing together again.

Lilith shrugged her shoulders. “No idea, ma’am.” Her voice was flat and she didn’t meet Zelda’s eyes.

Sheryl suddenly excused herself to use the bathroom, looking back and forth between the two women.

Zelda took Sheryl’s vacated chair and looked directly at Lilith.

“You’ve been avoiding me. I don’t know exactly what you heard at my house, but I really enjoyed-”

“Listen, last night was fun. You helped me when I was scared and I appreciate that. Thanks.” Lilith’s tone was dismissive and aloof.

Sheryl re-entered the room then, eying Zelda suspiciously as the redhead stood and walked out of the room.

Leaning against the wall outside of the room, she overheard Sheryl and Lilith burst into laughter as soon as she turned the corner, a weird pain stinging in her chest.

Checking out with Bobbie Jo, Zelda left to drive home. She’d gone too long without a drink and a cigarette, so she looked forward to some quiet time on the porch, pondering on the mess she’d made with Lilith.

But when she arrived home, she found half the roof had collapsed into the porch, water and mildew splattering the furniture. 

She threw open the sliding glass door, finding Faustus asleep in his recliner. Shaking him awake, she stood over him, a fire in her eyes.

“Look at that mess!” she pointed towards the porch. “Did you bother to call our insurance?”

“You do it tomorrow. I didn’t have time,” he muttered sleepily. 

“Tomorrow you’ll be out looking for a job. Lots of places will be hiring help to clean up after the storm.”

“The hell you say. I’m not doin’ that. We’ll get insurance money and we can live on that and your salary for a while. I’ll fix that roof when I get around to it.”

“Which means never. So many broken things around here you keep saying you’ll fix and you never do a damn thing. And we won’t have that money to live on long. You’ll just go to the casino and lose it or find some waitress and blow it on a motel room!”

He sat up in the chair, and when she started to walk away from him he grabbed her arm.

“Let go of me!” She tried to shake him off, but he only tightened his grip.

He pulled her down into his face, speaking in a clear but low and menacing voice. 

“You’re right, Zelda. I will get that insurance money and go to the casino with it. Because I can. Because I want to. And as far as the motel room, what did you say to me earlier? ‘That’s the pot calling the kettle black.’ I guess if that were completely true I’d be fucking the servers at the Hard Rock.” He grinned at her, his once perfect white teeth stained with the chewing tobacco he frequently stuck between his cheek and gum, the nicotine leaving a deep brown residue.

She jerked away from him. “Are you trying to insinuate that you’ve been with those twenty-something girls, that they’d actually let you lay a finger on them?”

“Oh yeah, baby, that’s exactly what I’m saying. When you were playing house with that skinny thing you brought here earlier, I was with three of them. And it was real funny,” he pushed her towards the wall where he got in her face, his hand sliding between her legs, rubbing until she slapped it away. “I didn’t even have to get pissed at them to get it up. Seems like everything works just fine when I’m not with you.”

Something in her snapped, she saw red, the anger from the morning rushing back and she slapped him, her palm stinging with the impact.

“Get out, Faustus,” she said quietly. “Get your things and go.”

He laughed in her face, rubbing his cheek as he walked to the fridge.

“You don’t mean that,” he reached inside and took out a beer.

Moving to stand between him and his recliner, she repeated her demand.

“I do mean it. Your name isn’t on the deed of this trailer. So get out, go.”

She spoke calmly, walking towards the bedroom.

“I’ll help you pack because I want you gone. We’re finished.”

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You sure couldn’t get enough of me before.” Zelda backed away, taking the bottle and pouring herself another shot, drinking it quickly before she slammed the glass down on the table. “Am I not good enough now that you’re not trapped with me?”

_It doesn't matter how gray the skies are (Skies are)_

_Or how much greener everybody's grass is_

_Everything's gonna look brighter (Brighter)_

_When you see it through a rose colored glass_

_-rosé - mickey guyton_

The quiet settled around her like a blanket, a comfort she felt in her bones. With not much more persuasion he had left, a brown paper bag holding the clothes he needed immediately. Zelda intended to box up the rest, but later. This time was for her.

It had been longer than she could remember since she’d been alone in her own home and she hardly knew what to do with herself. The sun was still high in the sky on this July evening, and the humidity seemed to have blown back out to sea as she settled in the dirt by the trailer skirting, pouring potting soil into a mottled silver trough she intended to use as a planter.

The sun warmed her back through the light tank top she wore, her cutoff shorts now smeared with dirt, when she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket.

She tugged it out, streaking the screen with soil as she swiped up to open it. Her eyes narrowed when she saw a text from Lilith.

_hey, i wondered if i could come by to get my stuff_

Rolling her eyes as she shook her head, Zelda put her phone back in her pocket, not ready to deal with Lilith just yet. She’d just box up Lilith’s clothes and take them to work, simple as that.

Removing the watermelon coleus from their plastic homes, she repotted them in the heavy metal container, punching the soil down around the roots, releasing some of the frustration she had pent up over Lilith’s detached coolness.

She knew the brunette had heard a portion of the cruel words Faustus had spewed at her, his ego getting the better of his judgment as it often did when he was angry. Humiliation washed over her at that, a weakness she rarely allowed herself to feel. He _was_ truly a terrible person, and she had every right to kick him out. His efforts at gaining her pity as he left in his truck, claiming he had nowhere to go, fell on deaf ears. 

They had separated before, once when he had caught her with Kylie, and another time when he’d taken their mortgage payment to Pensacola, returning with a used industrial pressure washing machine he kept for a week before he lost interest in finding clients, and she worked doubles for a month to make up for what he spent. After being apart for a few weeks they drifted back together, a honeymoon period at first, dinners and flowers, walks on the beach hand in hand, whispered sweet nothings in bed as he stroked her hair. But eventually the old patterns emerged; she nagged him about his lack of work, and he mocked her fastidious adherence to her job, her rules, her carefully maintained outer life. 

She’d only begun drinking in the past few years. Bobbie Jo had been her bar hopping buddy at first until Zelda became manager. Drinking in public was forbidden after that. Late night trips to the Gulfport ABC Liquors in dark sunglasses, stockpiling the Smirnoff when it went on sale became the norm. 

Finishing the plants, she suddenly felt the heat of the day and sought the refuge of her central air, standing before the open freezer door, her hand naturally wrapping itself around the neck of the vodka bottle.

Holding the bottle to the back of her neck, she tucked the strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ears, rubbing the back of her hand across her sweat covered forehead. 

Figuring a drink would cool her off, she pried out the synthetic cork and hunted a tumbler. A shot glass from the Golden Nugget in hand, she poured one and tossed it back, feeling the frigid liquid make its way down. Two more shots later and a pleasant buzz filled her body, the numbness she craved giving her an idea.

Remembering Lilith’s text, she decided to answer that she could come over now, and maybe she could convince the woman to stay and talk.

Going into the bathroom to splash some water on her still overheated face, she saw the splotches of dirt and grass from working with her plants. She washed her face, dripping water on the white tank top she wore, wetting it transparent in spots.

She shook out her hair, smoothing it back into its ponytail and taking one more shot as she saw Lilith’s Jeep pull into the parking pad behind her Camry.

Even in her intoxicated state, Zelda could feel her body reacting to the sight of the woman, arousal making its way up her thighs, settling in her belly. Her heart sped up at Lilith’s small smile greeting her, and she allowed herself to stare. She saw Lilith’s well-toned body in running shorts and t shirt and wanted her all the more.

She met the brunette at the door, looking out into the Jeep to see if she was alone. Relieved to see Sheryl was not in the passenger seat, Zelda held the door open for Lilith as she walked past her and stopped just inside the door.

“I won’t keep you, Zelda.” she said simply, her eyes scanning the room, taking in the vodka bottle and shot glass on the table. “I can see you’re busy.”

Making a face, Zelda laughed a little too loud, slurring her words as she answered. “Oh, please. I’m not doing anything.” 

“Can I just get my clothes from your extra room?” Her voice was a mix of pity and annoyance.

“What’s your hurry?” Zelda leaned against the kitchen chair, gripping the back to keep her balance.

Sighing, Lilith walked in the direction of the room.

Returning with her arms full of clothes, she tried to brush past Zelda and leave, but the redhead placed a hand on her arm to stop her progress.

“Where are you going? Are you just ignoring me now because you’ve already found somebody else?” 

Lilith looked puzzled for a second, then nodded her head. 

“Ah, okay, you’re talking about Sheryl.” Her expression changed and darkened as she took Zelda in, from her disshelved hair to the tank top that clung to her pale frame, arousal in her nipples that pressed against the fabric. “We’re not together.”

A bright smile crossed Zelda’s face, and she raised her brows. “That’s good news. So do you still need a place to stay?” She edged closer, her fingers trailing down Lilith’s bare arm. “Faustus is gone.” 

“Gone?” Lilith backed away from Zelda’s questing fingers. “Like at his job?”

Shaking her head, her fingers made their way to the smooth muscles of Lilith’s back, gently stroking under the t shirt, tracing down her spine and she felt Lilith shiver in response. Reaching the waistband of her shorts, Zelda dragged her nails around to the front, the pads of her fingers heating with the warmth of her skin. She heard Lilith’s breath catch as she moved closer.

“He’s left you?” Lilith managed to say as Zelda’s hands moved to cup her ass through the thin shorts, running her nails up and down her firm thighs.

“No.” Zelda’s voice sounded strange and high pitched even to her ears. 

“You kicked him out?” Lilith was nearly panting as Zelda let go.

“Bingo.” Zelda took the clothes from Lilith’s hands and laid them on the table. “So if you need a place, the offer still stands.”

Her hands tangled in Lilith’s hair, tugging out the rubber band that held back her curls and pulling her face closer, closing her eyes as their lips met.

“No, Zelda, no.” Lilith suddenly moved away from the redhead. “I can’t, I just can’t be with you like this.”

“You sure couldn’t get enough of me before.” Zelda backed away, taking the bottle and pouring herself another shot, drinking it quickly before she slammed the glass down on the table. “Am I not good enough now that you’re not trapped with me?”

“That’s not it at all and I think you know it.”

“Then why won’t you even kiss me.” Zelda whined, trying again to pull Lilith to her, but stumbling, the amount of vodka muddling her thoughts and depth perception.

Lilith ducked away and scooped up her clothes, stopping at the door to look back at Zelda, still standing in the same place with a dazed look on her face.

“I want to talk to you, but not with this,” she pointed to the table, the vodka and glass. “In the way. A real conversation.”

“Then stay.” Zelda’s voice had become small, and she couldn’t quite believe Lilith would drive away again.

“Zelda,” Lilith said softly, and Zelda managed to look her way. “Call me when you’re sober.”

She walked out the back door and slid behind the wheel of her Jeep, looking back sadly at the trailer before she drove away.

Zelda put the bottle back in the freezer, noticing the old work boots in the same old place. She decided to pack up Faustus’s things, rid herself of him once and for all.

The work boots found their way into the green dumpster, along with his New Orleans Saints jersey and ship in a bottle from its sacred place on their living room wall. 

She began to fold his clothes into boxes, balling them up and throwing them in as the shame of her behavior hit her.

_What does she think of me now?_ She cringed at how she had thrown herself at Lilith , only to watch her be so turned off by Zelda’s drunken advances. 

_I have crossed so many forbidden lines with her._ She felt a deep fear at what could become of her career now, her life. Barely knowing Lilith, spending the night with her, all they’d done.

_What if she never wants anything to do with me again?_ Her thoughts came down to this, and she cried at the very idea. Lilith had seen how worthlessly Faustus had spoken to her, she had seen how he belittled her. She saw Zelda’s need to bury herself in liquor. 

Tears dripped onto the packed boxes as she stacked them by the door, happy tears to be rid of her marriage, but burning embarrassment at what she must seem like to Lilith. 

Laying down across her bed, hot tears spilling out of the corners of her eyes, she pulled a blanket over herself and let the darkness pull her under.

  
  


Her head was pounding when she woke up hours later, the sun already sending warm rays through the bedroom window. Glancing at the clock she groaned, knowing she had to get moving to beat the cleaning crew to work.

  
  


She showered and tried to make herself presentable, the dark circles under her eyes hidden by layers of makeup. Pulling her hair into a high ponytail, she tucked her blood orange tee into some white jeans and smiled to herself at the vanity mirror again. 

“Wish you’d sung a song for how stupid I feel right now.” She spoke to her tiny Elvis, bringing her index finger to her lips and touching it to the picture.

_I know what will make me feel better…._

Taking a Yeti from the cabinet, she filled it with ice and reached for the bottle in the freezer. She saw Lilith’s disappointed gaze in her mind’s eye and hesitated. _No, I don’t need this, I can face her and everyone else without it._ Filling her icy cup with water instead, she pushed the lid down on top.

Outside by her car, she ran her fingers down the dents and Zelda decided to take her car to the body shop after her shift. Sighing she realized she would have to figure where to go since this was normally Faustus’s domain. She wouldn’t even know where to begin.

She was miserable as she entered the back door of the building, noticing the lights were finally back on. Bobbie Jo was already at her desk, and handed Zelda a coffee as she slowly sat down and turned on her computer.

“Damn, girl, you look rode hard and hung up wet. What the hell did you and your man get into last night?”

Zelda’s smile wobbled as she took a drink from the styrofoam cup. The black coffee brightened her for a moment before it hit her stomach. She ran for the bathroom, hand over her mouth.

She was splashing water on her face when Lilith came in the door. Zelda’s eyes widened and her heart began to pound. 

Making a face, Lilith leaned against the sink next to Zelda, and it seemed she wanted to say something. 

“You okay?”

Zelda rubbed the back of her hand over her lips as she nodded, her stomach still protesting the coffee.

Patting her on the shoulder, Lilith went into a stall and Zelda went back to her office. Zelda’s skin warmed where Lilith’s hand had been.

“Looks like the hair of the dog done bit you,” Bobbie Jo remarked again, snickering as she typed.

“Thank you, Bobbie Jo, for pointing out I look like shit,” Zelda’s sarcastic tone shut the woman down. “Now, where are we with the new shipments of food?”

They discussed inventory and supplies, floating an opening date of a week from Friday, and Bobbie Jo began calling in more workers to finalize the clean up and stocking process. 

Zelda worked diligently, only glancing up once to see Lilith go by the window accompanied by Sheryl, and the redhead itched to find her, to take her aside and explain everything. But she knew it was a bad idea. It could wait.

A little after 11 she needed to get a count for a grocery supply chain they were using for tomatoes, so she walked quickly to the produce area, her eyes wandering to the spot where Lilith had made her close her eyes, pleasuring her again and again.

She shuddered at the thought, refocusing her mind on the task at hand.

“Hey, um, Mrs. Blackwood,” Zelda looked up to see Sheryl approaching her, a very unsure look on her face. She remembered Lilith saying they were not together, so she smiled as non-threateningly as she could with her skull pounding like a drummer in the hair band she currently heard pouring in from the speakers around the store.

“I just wanted to thank you for letting me transfer here. You know, to help Lilith get settled.” Sheryl shifted her attention between Zelda’s face and the floor.

Zelda had no idea what she was talking about because Bobbie Jo handled the transfers between stores, but she smiled and tried to appear reassuring.

“Well, yes, I only want what’s best for my employees. And does she seem to be settling in well?”

Wracking her brain about why Sheryl would need to help Lilith like this, it hit her dead on. Lilith had just come from rehab. Of course she would need support. 

“Her home was destroyed in the storm, so she’s moved in with me for a few days until she can find something new. She says she likes it here, especially the beach and the location of where she lived.”

Zelda perked up at that, thinking maybe Lilith somehow meant being next to her own trailer.

"I'm glad to hear that. It's nice she has a friend like you who is so willing to help her."

Sheryl nodded silently. "Yeah, well, she deserves someone to be kind to her."

A pain shot through Zelda at that, wondering what she could mean. Lilith's life was a mystery, one that Zelda wanted to know more about.

Bringing her mind back to the present, the redhead began walking towards the freezer section, and Sheryl fell into step beside her. 

Lilith was tossing frozen pizzas into a bin behind her, tendrils of her chestnut hair having escaped the messy bun she’d piled them into. She grinned when she saw the two of them.

“Shoveling refrozen pizzas has made me want to go off pizza altogether.” She laughed, and Sheryl joined her, opening the clear glass door that held burritos in the next case.

Chuckling at Lilith’s comment, Zelda took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as her hangover induced headache squeezed the witty answer right off the tip of her tongue.

Lilith’s eyes were kind as she held Zelda’s gaze.

“Are you feeling better now?” she said softly, glancing toward Sheryl out of the corner of her eye as she spoke, continuing to toss the boxes away.

“I am, mostly.” Zelda returned her soft voice. “I had a bottle of water and some aspirin and that’s doing the trick. A cigarette sounds amazing right now.”

Sheryl was watching their exchange, so Zelda cleared her throat and asked about how long Lilith thought it would take her to finish the section she worked on.

Laughing at Zelda’s sudden turn in the conversation, Lilith answered by indicating that they had four more shelves to clear until they’d be done.

“That’s great.” Zelda nodded. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

She felt Lilith’s eyes on her back as she walked away, and she allowed herself a smile because of the concern Lilith had shown. Perhaps she hadn’t made a total fool of herself.

Sitting behind her computer a few minutes later, her phone buzzed. The incoming call was from Faustus. Grabbing the phone, she walked towards the exit to take the call.

“Yes, Faustus?” her irritation was evident immediately.

He gruffly laughed. “Can’t even get a decent hello from my wife this morning?”

“Hello, now what do you want? I’ve got work to do.”

He paused, speaking to someone in the background.

“Just wondered if you’d changed your mind yet.”

“Changed my mind?” she decided to play dumb, give him enough rope to properly hang himself.

“You know, about letting me come back.” She could tell his hand was over the mic again, and a female voice continued to speak.

“So, let me get this straight,” Zelda tapped her foot on the cement floor of the stockroom. “You’re wondering if I’m missing you?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Thought you'd come to your senses and got that little piece of ass out of your system.”

“And if I had decided you were exactly what I wanted and needed right now?”

“I am your husband, Zelda Mae. The one you’ve stuck by for 20 years. The one you always run back to when you need a shoulder to cry on.”

“If we’re counting, a more accurate number is 18, and since when have you ever been a shoulder I came running to?”

“Awww now, don’t be like that. I was just roundin’ up, after all, you dated me a long time before I put that ring on your finger.”

She could tell he was just stringing her along, and she’d fallen into a trap that he was setting, a little walk down memory lane.

“Don’t have time to reminisce today, so let me be clear and speak in simple words maybe you’ll understand. I. Don’t. Want. You. Anymore.”

There was laughing and yelling on his end of the call, and he joined in. Zelda was unsure whether he had even heard her.

“Now, Zeldy, we both know that’s not true. You need a man in your life and in your bed.”

Rolling her eyes at this tired ploy he’d used when she had been caught with Kylie, she sighed. 

“Well then, Faustus, if I need a man so badly, I know I don’t want you. We both know you’re no man. And as far as my bed’s concerned, I’d rather sleep alone than with the likes of you.”

His silence let her know he had heard her, and she thought he had hung up until his low threatening voice came back over the line.

“You’re gonna regret this. I’m gonna make you wish you’d never laid eyes on that little whore you work with.”

She disconnected at that, shaking her head and thinking that getting a lawyer probably was a good idea, and a cigarette break was an even better one.

Slipping her phone into her back pocket, she reached into the other for the pack of cigarettes and lighter she’d had the mind to grab when she saw Faustus’s name on her phone screen.

The sun had settled behind some clouds and it had warmed the wall she leaned against nicely, taking a deep drag from her Marlboro gold. She held the smoke in as long as she could, the clarity the nicotine provided calming her troubled mind.

She was reaching for the coffee can when she heard the back door scrape against its metal housing, looking up to see Lilith approaching, a menthol already in her hand.

“Hey, pretty lady, got a light?”

  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The weather is perfect today,” Zelda spoke to the sky and Lilith. “No storms headed our way soon.”
> 
> “Yeah, it seems like that to me too, only you never really know with storms,” Lilith muttered.

The storm is calling, rain's falling down like tears

The water's rising, bringing on my darkest fears

I need a lighthouse, someone to guide my way

Oh, just wrap your arms around me, let me know I'm safe

\- safe - mickey guyton

Zelda smiled at the sight of Lilith headed her way, and held out her lighter.

“The weather is perfect today,” Zelda spoke to the sky and Lilith. “No storms headed our way soon.”

“Yeah, it seems like that to me too, only you never really know with storms,” Lilith muttered.

They sat in silence, Lilith reaching for the coffee can and Zelda inhaling deeply.

“I spoke to Sheryl and she thanked me for approving her transfer,” Zelda said in a quiet voice. “I’m sorry I thought she was something else.”

“Easy mistake to make,” Taking a drag, Lilith blew the smoke out of the side of her mouth, then looked at Zelda. “She’s my sponsor.”

Embarrassment washed over Zelda again for her foolish behavior and assumptions. 

“So you're staying with her then? That’s what she said.”

“Yes, with her, her husband and their three kids. On their couch.”

Zelda’s brows rose. “That can’t be too comfortable. You have no privacy.”

Tapping out her cigarette, Lilith shrugged. 

“I grew up in a huge family. I never even had my own room til that trailer next to you,” she chuckled. “Don’t mind it though. I’m never without someone to talk to or listen to my stupid jokes.”

Zelda laughed at that. 

“Where did you grow up?” Zelda asked, curious to find out how Lilith chose to end up here.

“Hills of Tennessee. Guess we’re what people think of as hillbillies. My daddy mined coal and my mama had baby after baby.”

“And where do you fall in that line of kids?”

“I fall right in the center. Typical middle child, never getting enough attention except in all the wrong ways.”

“Really, you, wanting to be the center of attention? I can’t imagine.” 

Lilith gave her shoulder a friendly shove, and Zelda grinned at her.

“What about you, boss? Do you come from around here?”

Nodding, Zelda lit another cigarette, handing it to Lilith before lighting another for herself, trying to extend the conversation as long as possible.

“Right here in Gulfport. Class of ‘97, only I didn’t graduate. Got my GED though.”

Lilith looked on Zelda with pride, her eyes warm. “Good for you. I never finished but I want to, someday.”

“I also have just the one sister. She lives in the Florida Panhandle. I miss her. Wish she was closer.”

“Yeah, it’s tough to feel alone.” Lilith took a deep drag and knocked her cigarette against the can. “Makes you do desperate things. Go with the wrong people.”

“Yes, but sometimes even being with family leads to wanting an escape,” Zelda looked into the distance. “Faustus was mine.”

Lilith hummed, smoking and tapping her foot on the side of the building, looking at Zelda directly as she spoke.

“I did that too. Escaped. Thought I was smarter than everyone around me who said Billy was no good, and I was gonna prove them wrong. I was gonna be the one to change him, but it was the other way around.”

Zelda turned to stare into Lilith’s sky blue eyes, full of pain and remembering as she shared.

“Is he Brina’s daddy?”

Lilith shook her head. “No, thank the lord. I was intelligent enough to use protection with Billy. That would have been a never ending hellish nightmare to have his child. Brina’s daddy is Adam.”

Soaking up the sun, Zelda took a deep breath, thinking she could smell the ocean from where they stood.

“It’s no wonder to me you never left here,” Lilith said matter of factly.

Squinting her eyes, Zelda shaded them with her hand as she cocked her head.

“Why’s that? I sure had more reasons to leave than to stay.”

“Just this,” Lilith gestured in front of her, the horizon a never ending line leading out to what met the ocean. “I always wanted to live at the beach.”

“Yeah, I suppose you have a point.” The azure of the skyline reflected bluer off the Gulf. “I’ve always wanted to see the Pacific.”

They grew quiet again, both of them lost in their dreams, til Zelda finally crushed her cigarette out and walked towards the door.

She turned around and stood for a moment until Lilith looked her way.

“I’m sorry for the way I behaved yesterday. It was foolish and childish.”

Lilith looked down and shook her head.

“You don’t owe me any apologies, Zelda. When life gives us hard things to deal with, hard people to deal with, we do the best we can.”

Giving her a nod, Zelda turned to go inside.

“And, for what it’s worth, I wish I could have stayed. If circumstances were different, I would have.” Lilith’s voice had gone soft again, like a caress on Zelda’s cheek. 

Unbidden tears came to Zelda’s eyes, and she looked back over her shoulder at Lilith. 

“Like you said, if things had been different.” 

She walked inside quickly, making her way to the bathroom to splash water on her face again. Not needing Bobbie Jo to see she had been crying was her first thought, but also to cool off from the words Lilith had spoken. _She would have stayed, she would have stayed…._

The relief she felt must have had her smiling, for Bobbie Jo brightened at the sight of her.

“There you are, corporate has called twice wanting a firm date for re-opening,” the woman said quickly. “What’s got you grinning so big?”

Thinking on her feet, she rolled her eyes.

“I’m glad cleaning is progressing so quickly and that things might be ready before the date we settled on. Isn’t that good news?”

“Sure, I guess. Never seen you so smiley is all.”

Zelda dialed corporate office and passed along the date, the person on the other end giving her the okay to continue with their progress.

The day wrapped itself up soon enough and Zelda saw Lilith in the parking lot as they both walked to their cars. She gave a little wave, and the brunette smiled and waved back. Sheryl said something that made Lilith double over with laughter, then elbow the woman in the ribs. Zelda grinned at the two of them, happy now to know that Sheryl was on her side, in Lilith’s corner.

She drove to the body shop Jimbo had recommended when she had asked him, presented the tech with the estimate her insurance had given and arranged to drop off her car the next day. 

Satisfied with the day she’d had, Zelda walked up the stairs of her trailer humming “Love Me Tender”. She put in her key, but found the door unlocked already. Sliding open the door, she found the television on, the odor of jambalaya wafting in from the kitchen.

Hands on her hips, she stood for a moment to gather herself. _Why didn’t I change the locks?_ She briefly considered the knife on the countertop, its proximity to him the only barrier.

“Faustus, what the hell are you doing here?” She didn’t even try to keep her voice down, hoping all the neighbors would hear.

“What?” He turned toward her, not reacting to her irate tone. “Oh, hey, darlin’. I cooked us some dinner.”

Zelda looked at him incredulously.

“Faustus, I asked you to leave. You left. All your things are boxed up,” she showed him the crates by the door. “And you just needed to come and get them. Why are you still here?”

He brought a spoon over to her, holding it up as if she would taste what he made. She pushed it aside, and it took all her self control not to throw it in his face.

“You need to go.” Zelda crossed her arms over her body.

He plated some food and handed it to her, taking his own plate and sitting himself in front of the tv.

Grabbing the remote, she turned off the game and stood between him and the 80 inch screen.

“Go!” She pointed towards the door.

Sighing as if he were dealing with a misbehaving toddler, Faustus produced a letter from his shirt pocket.

“Sorry, babe, but this says I can stay and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.” He held out the document, and she snatched it from his grasp. Opening it, she saw the letterhead of _The Offices of Carter Sanderson_ and read on to find he was claiming Squatter Rights. Because his name was not on the deed, his lawyer was claiming she was acting as his landlord and evicting him.

Furrowing her brow, Zelda looked at him with confusion.

“I am clearly not your landlord. We are married, and you’ve never paid one dime of rent or mortgage on this place. So how under heaven did I evict you?” Her voice rose in pitch as she continued speaking, the hot plate of food coming dangerously close to his lap as she motioned with her hands.

He stood quickly and grabbed her plate, placing it on the counter, and putting the knife out of range when he spotted it.

“Well, honey, he says I have rights as a tenant. By Mississippi law, you have to give me 30 days notice before you can kick me out. In writing. From a lawyer.”

The smug look on his face had Zelda seeing red. 

“I can’t believe you’ve stooped so low, Faustus. You’ll never stop taking from me until you have it all.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Survival of the fittest, that’s all. Winner take all. You know me well enough to know that.”

She bit her lip til she tasted blood, wanting to scream, but instead grabbing a bowling trophy from one of the boxes stacked by the door.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said coldly. “The sheriff of Harrison County is a friend of a friend, and you’ll be in lockup faster as quick I can dial his number.” He held out his phone displaying the sheriff’s private number.

Defeated, she placed the trophy back in the box.

“Well then, I’ll just be on my way,” she said quietly.

She stomped into the bedroom and pulled a suitcase out of the closet. Shoving clothes inside, she seethed. _How dare some lawyer tell him he has any right to my home!_

Gathering up everything else she could carry, she slid the pile to the door.

Looking around she realized she had no idea where she would go. Tears threatened again, this time from frustration and exhaustion. And she thought of one more thing she would need. Opening the freezer, she removed the Smirnoff bottle and found a tumbler to take with her. If she needed the vodka anytime, it was now.

Faustus didn’t look up as she left, his satisfaction clear as he grinned at the tv, a beer in one hand and the remote in the other.

Piling all of her things in the back of her car, she drove away without another word to Faustus. 

She drove in circles, not able to decide where to go.

Zelda couldn’t even call anyone, except maybe Hilda. And she would tell Zelda to go back and apologize, tell him she’d never do it again and just grin and bear it. It was easy for Hilda to say that. She had a good man, a man who loved her and would never treat her cruelly.

No, Zelda wasn’t close enough to anyone to crash on their couch, not even Bobbie Jo. There would be too much to explain, too many questions to answer.

She ended up at the Days Inn on Highway 49, not too far from Walmart. The room was expensive, and she knew she couldn’t keep this up, but for one night it wouldn’t hurt anything. Tomorrow she would visit a lawyer herself and get this mess straightened out. 

Sorting out her clothes and things she needed for work the next day, she opened the door with the pass key and tossed everything on the bed in favor of the ice bucket. 

Dropping a few cubes in her tumbler, she filled the remaining space with vodka and settled back to watch the Weather Channel. 

The more she drank the more her thoughts were lost in everything that had gone wrong lately. Faustus, Lilith, the store, everything. And she was to blame. 

She had forgiven and forgotten more times than she could count with him, and kicking him out had felt like a step in the right direction. But he was fighting it, a move she should've seen coming. 

The deeper she dug a hole in her misery, the more she drank until she fell asleep, bottle in hand, tumbler turned over onto the floor.

She woke with a light shining in her eyes, realizing she had fallen out with her head resting on her phone.

Blinking her eyes several times, she saw the time was 12 noon. 

She shot up from the bed and immediately regretted it. The room spun, spots appearing before her eyes, and she ran for the bathroom, confused about where she was.

Turning on the faucet, she cupped her hands to drink as much as she could take in , her mouth dry and lips cracked and parched. 

Still not able to take in her location, she sat on the edge of the bed, hearing the phone buzz again and again. Getting to it seemed to be an insurmountable task, but she managed it.

“Hello…” she slurred.

“Zelda? Zelda is that you?” The voice on the other end seemed frantic.

“Yessss, who is this?” Her eyes would not focus on the letters on the screen.

“It’s Bobbie Jo. Where are you? I’ve been tryin’ to call for hours when you didn’t come in.”

“I’m at the Days Inn. Come in where? What are you talking about?” 

“To work, Zelda. What the hell? Are you hurt?”

Zelda heard a voice in the background asking if Zelda was injured.

“Noooo, I’m not hurt I don’t think.” Not that she wasn’t hurting, because her hands shook, and the light was an ice pick in her eyes.

“Honey, are you still there? Can I come and get you?”

Shaking her head, then leaning forward to hold it in her hands, Zelda moaned aloud. 

“Zelda, I’m coming to get you.” Bobbie Jo’s voice was firm.

“Please don’t do that. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be on in.”

Zelda disconnected and sighed. _What the hell have I done?_

She stood, the room swaying, and she reached out to grab the wall as she eased her way to the shower.

Peeling off her clothes, she felt as though she reeked of liquor, and her stomach refused to stay in one place. The edges of her vision darkened, so she sat on the tile floor, her head resting on the edge of the tub.

Taking several deep breaths, she managed to stand again, turning on the taps until the water warmed enough to stand in. Gripping the curtain, she stepped in and immediately felt better under the tepid spray. She leaned against the wall, slowly able to take care of herself as the water cleared away the fog.

Towel drying her hair a few minutes later, she heard the buzz of her phone.

Picking it up, she didn’t recognize the Gulfport number.

“Hello?” 

“Hello, yes, please hold the line for Mr. Sanderson.”

Mouth curling in disgust at the mention of Faustus’s lawyer, she cringed as he answered.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Blackwood. I’m sitting here with your husband and I wondered if we might have a discussion today if you’re free. He seems to think you may be willing to work something out.”

Clear headed now, Zelda mustered up her best “ripping you a new one” voice.

“He is sadly mistaken, Mr. Sanderson. And don’t call me again. You’ll be hearing from my attorney within the day.” She disconnected the call, missing the satisfaction of slamming down a landline. 

The sunlight poured into the darkened room as she opened the curtains, her head pounding as it reacted to the bright light.

Feeling like she had pulled herself together enough to drive, she remembered she had to drop off her car at the body shop. Luckily the owner was able to give her a loaner, and she was soon on her way to the store.

She kept her sunglasses on until after she entered the quiet privacy of her office, Bobbie Jo nowhere to be found. While she was alone, she dialed the number of a divorce lawyer she’d seen on a billboard on Interstate 10. 

A recorded message asked for her information, and the cheerful voice repeated that someone would return her call within the hour.

She was opening a pack of crackers and a bottle of water when Bobbie Jo opened the office door.

“Look what the cat dragged in. Honey, you look a sight,” The woman’s sympathetic voice left a lot to be desired.

“It’s been a rough few days. I haven’t been feeling too well.”

Bobbie Jo gasped. “Do ya suppose you’re finally pregnant? Is that why you been so sick?”

“Christ I hope not,” Zelda muttered. She shook her head. “I think I’m just coming down with something.”

“Aww, that’s a shame. You and that fine husband of yours would make great parents.”

Not wanting to prolong this conversation, Zelda took her water and decided to make her rounds, checking on everyone and their progress.

She circled around the perimeter of the store, avoiding the grocery area for now. The leaks seemed to be all patched, and everything was put back in its place. It smelled fresh and clean scrubbed, and they seemed to be well ahead of schedule for re-opening.

Grabbing a broom, she was sweeping some leaves that had blown into the entryway when she heard a voice behind her.

“Hey, glad to see you’re okay.” She recognized the soft Tennessee drawl.

She turned around and smiled broadly at the beaming blue eyes that greeted her. “Thanks, I’m okay now. I appreciate you worrying about me.”

“Of course, we can’t run this place without ya.” Lilith’s playful smile held a spark just for Zelda.

Looking down as she felt her cheeks burn, Zelda asked, “How goes the frozen food cleanout?”

“Oh, we finished that, we actually have been restocking. Come and see.”

They walked together, hands accidentally touching as they approached the section where Sheryl stood waiting.

“Lilith is really proud of all we’ve done. She’s been bursting for you to see her hard work.”

It was Lilith’s turn to look down, smacking Sheryl on the arm.

“Stop it, I didn’t say that.”

Sheryl laughed loudly. “You’ve only been looking over your shoulder for her every five minutes.”

“Shut up, Sheryl.” Lilith rolled her eyes and Zelda couldn’t help but find the whole thing endearing.

She turned her attention to the frozen food cases, freshly cleaned, reorganized and restocked, looking better than they ever had.

“This looks great!” Zelda oohed and ahhed as she walked along the length of the freezer. “Bubba needs to watch out because y’all are giving him a run for his money as frozen foods manager.”

“We are really glad you’re happy with it. Where should we start next?” Lilith grinned.

They discussed the reorganization of the produce area, then Zelda walked back towards her office.

Corporate office had sent over some diagrams for the refit, so the redhead walked them back out to Sheryl and Lilith, pointing out where each new fruit and vegetable would be housed. She left them with the plans, telling them she’d send over some help.

As Zelda began to walk away, with Sheryl looking over the plans, Lilith motioned towards the side door, pulling out her pack of cigarettes. 

They opened the side door, propping themselves up against the wall next to the coffee can.

Lilith was quiet at first, but Zelda could tell she had something on her mind.

“How are you feeling?” she finally said, not quite meeting Zelda’s green eyes.

“I feel like that’s all we’ve talked about the past few days. I’m fine. Don’t worry too much about me.”

“Are you sure you should be at work? You were sick like that yesterday too, maybe you should see a doctor.” 

The kindness and concern in her voice nearly did Zelda in, but then she saw Lilith look at her knowingly.

“No, I don’t need a doctor. That’s okay, but thanks.”

Biting her lip, Lilith averted Zelda’s gaze as she spoke.

“Maybe you need something else then, some other kind of help.”

Turning in Lilith’s direction, Zelda narrowed her eyes.

“What exactly are you trying to say?”

“Well, you’ve been drinking a lot. It seems like you’re having some problems at home, and work has been super stressful. I’m just saying that maybe you need another way to cope.”

“Are you my therapist now?” Zelda’s voice took on an edge.

“Not at all, but I’ve been there. And I dealt with my problems the same way you are, only my coping was with a needle.”

“I’m not an alcoholic. I can stop whenever I want. I just like the way it feels, the way it helps me forget, that’s all.”

Smiling in empathy, Lilith took Zelda’s hand.

“Thank you for sharing that much with me. The only thing is, when you sober up later, everything you wanted to forget is still there.”

Tapping off her cigarette, Zelda leaned back, nodding in agreement.

“Yes, that’s true. You’re not wrong.”

“And I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic. But you are late for work, hungover for the second morning in a row.”

“Did you come to take me to a meeting or something? Did Sheryl tell you this was a good idea?”

“I did this because I care about you, Zelda. Because I can see you hurting yourself the same way I did. It started the same way, I took just enough to take the edge off. I was dealing with being a single parent, working three jobs to keep my head above water. I just wanted an escape, like you said.”

Zelda turned towards Lilith, her eyes staring at the retention pond in front of them.

“After a while, that little bit wasn’t enough, so I needed more. And then I needed it to get up in the morning, to get Brina ready for school, to pick her after, to sleep.”

Zelda thought of how hard that must have been, working and taking care of a child.

“And then I got arrested. My baby was in the car with me. She saw her mama in handcuffs, fighting as they put me in the back of the squad car. They wouldn’t even let me call her daddy until hours later. By then she was so upset. She wouldn’t talk to me for days.” Tears slipped down Lilith’s face, and Zelda ached to brush them away, to wrap her arms around the woman and make it all okay. 

“Oh no, not that, not your child seeing you like that.” Zelda’s heart broke at the idea of her daughter being torn away from her.

“So you see, I know what it does, where it leads. And I don’t want that for you.”

“I am so sorry that happened to you. So very,very sorry. But I’m not like that. I don’t need alcohol to do all that for me. I can stop anytime.” Zelda firmly said.

Lilith stubbed out her cigarette and looked at Zelda with a sad smile, tears welling up in her eyes again.

“And that’s exactly why we aren’t a good idea.”

  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the quiet moments with the road flying past she focused on what she wanted, what she’d tell the lawyer. This was something she could fix, like the broken roof, or the unpotted plants. She could control this conversation. And she could start again.

_You like the warmth of the summer nights_

_But you can't escape the call of the winter rain_

_And I try to keep the light burning bright_

_But can't turn away from the pleasure of my pain_

_-hopelessness has done nothing for me - johanna warren_

  
  
  


Zelda looked at Lilith with confusion.

“I’m puzzled. First you say you care about me, that you’re trying to help me. And now you’re saying because I drink you wouldn’t want to be with me?”

Lilith looked at her, a million words in her eyes. 

“I’ll do anything to help you, to be your friend, to support you. But I can’t even consider anything beyond that.” 

Refusing to meet her gaze any longer, Zelda finished her last drag and dropped her cigarette on the ground, crushing it out under her platform sandal.

“Friends it is then.” Shaking her head, Zelda said bitterly, “Thank you for being honest, at least.”

Reaching for her hand, Lilith’s face looked pained.

“Zelda, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, don’t be sorry. Stand by that. You know what’s best for you, and now I have to figure that out for myself.” Zelda squeezed her hand then dropped it, walking towards the back door.

Gathering her things, she jotted a note for Bobbie Jo, letting her know something had come up. She walked out the back door into the sunshine, and her phone buzzed in her hand.

“Hello, Mrs. Blackwood, I received your intake file and would like to meet with you. I have an opening at 3 this afternoon if you’re free.”

Zelda agreed, repeating back the address of the law office in Biloxi. She was soon driving east along the coast, rolling down the windows to breathe in the ocean breeze.

In the quiet moments with the road flying past she focused on what she wanted, what she’d tell the lawyer. This was something she could fix, like the broken roof, or the unpotted plants. She could control this conversation. And she could start again.

At that thought she allowed herself to relive her talk with Lilith, to let her confession sink in. The tears she fought against earlier as the words stabbed her flowed from her eyes now as she drove, and she roughly wiped them away. She had no right to expect Lilith would want her with all the baggage she carried. 

She arrived at the address, a short brick building with _Brice Byington, Attorney at Law - I’ll Fight for You!_ plastered along the longest side in a bold font. Dabbing her eyes with a tissue, she applied a new coat of lipstick and hoped she looked better than she felt.

Expecting a glamorous and fancy setup, she was shocked to see one woman inside, answering the phone and eating a sandwich.

“Hey, I’m here to see Mr. Byington,” Zelda started to explain and the woman raised one finger signaling she needed to wait.

Zelda took in her surroundings as she stood, framed diplomas with daunting gold emblems mixed with prints of dogs and hunting panoramas, a well-worn couch half covered with manila file folders, and a water cooler continually beeping for a refill.

Her eyes swept back to the multi-tasking woman behind the desk, heavily highlighted blonde hair pushed back behind her ears, animated brown eyes that flashed anger at whatever the caller was explaining to her.

“Look, Brad, I don’t need admiralty law mansplained by the likes of you, just take care of your end of the deal…..Yes, that is our final offer…..Well, your promises aren’t worth a tinker's damn to me after what you did…..Listen,” she glanced into Zelda’s eyes and shrugged her shoulders. “I have a client, so just file the papers and hope the judge takes pity on us.” She slammed the phone into its cradle, rattling the precarious piles of documents littering the desk.

Standing, she reached out a hand towards Zelda, her French tip manicure somewhat chipped on her ink-stained fingers. “Hi, I’m Donna Bradley. I believe we spoke on the phone.”

Zelda reached back, the woman’s grip somewhat crushing her fingers.

“Zelda Blackwood, I-I thought I was meeting with Brice Byington, the man on all the signs along I-10.”

The woman smirked, “Don’t they all? Well, here in Biloxi you get me. Brice stays pretty tied up in New Orleans, and we’re a branch office. I’ll represent you good as he would, maybe better.”

“Take a seat,” she continued. “Would you like something to drink?”

Zelda shook her head, perching on the edge of an office chair, a duffel bag draped over the back.

“Let me move that,” the blonde hopped up to pluck up the bag, and Zelda then noticed her appearance. An expensive black suit, cream chiffon blouse, and white sneakers finished off her look. 

“Don’t mind my Reeboks,” she said when she noticed the redhead’s eyes on her shoes. “I’ve been to court this morning, and the walk from the Judicial building to the parking deck is a killer.” She slid her feet into some red bottomed pumps nearby.

Settling back, Zelda brushed imaginary lint off her dark jeans, and waited, unsure how this meeting should proceed.

“Now then.” Grabbing a legal pad, the lawyer moved to sit next to Zelda. “I saw in the preliminary notes that you were seeking a divorce. Do you think your husband will contest your filing?”

“Yes,” Zelda answered hesitantly. “Yes, he will.”

“And what gives you such certainty?”

Waiting with her pen poised above the yellow paper, Zelda looked into the eyes of the woman she was about to pay to change her life. 

“He thinks I’ll come crawling back to him like I’ve done before, only this time I won’t. I can’t do it.”

“So y’all have separated before. What makes this time different?”

Watching the pen fly across the paper, Zelda thought before she answered.

“One of us has got to come to our senses, and I guess it’s fallen on me. I can’t live with him anymore, not the way things are.”

“And how are things?” Zelda looked down at her hands for a moment before she answered.

Looking up at the attorney, she saw a fire, an intensity, a concern.

“I suppose you could say they are irreconcilable, isn’t that the word? We can’t hold a conversation anymore without it turning into a fight.”

“Have these fights ever become physical?”

“Well, Ms. Bradley,” Zelda began.

“Donna, call me Donna.”

“Okay, Donna, we…” Zelda looked down again, thinking of how she had slapped Faustus as she asked him to leave. “I have given as good as I’ve gotten.”

Donna made some notes, but reached out a hand to Zelda’s arm.

“I realize these are uncomfortable questions, but I have to know what I’m getting into so I can best tell you how to proceed. Would you mind telling me more?”

Taking a deep breath, Zelda realized she was going to have to trust this woman. Embarrassment flooded her as she recalled to Donna countless times he had grabbed her, shoved her, roughly tore off her clothes to bury himself in her.

“He never had sex with me unless I wanted it too. We enjoyed working each other up. And I’m not denying I haven't done the same to him.”

“Okay, but aside from that, was there any other physicality?”

“Maybe once, but I’ve slapped him too. Again, we were arguing.”

“What did you tend to argue about?”

“The usual. Money, overspending on his part, my frugal ways; he thought I was too ambitious and I thought he had no ambition at all. That was the majority of our fights.”

“But there were others?” Donna pushed and Zelda rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s just that he may throw some charge at you and I want to be ready for it. For instance, was there infidelity by either of you?”

Setting her lips into a thin line, Zelda nodded.

“From him it was always a threat until recently. He may deny it now, but he seemed glad to brag about it. But I’ve had a relationship outside our marriage in the past.”

Donna paused in her questioning to give Zelda a chance to gather herself.

“Do you mind sharing with me some details?”

“If it will help you I don’t,” Zelda said after a few moments of staring at the wall behind the blonde woman. “It was after our first failed attempt at IVF.”

“So infertility has been an issue?” Donna interrupted.

“It has. We’ve tried having a baby for about 10 years now. IVF was our last resort. I actually met Kylie the day I took a pregnancy test, expecting good news and getting the worst when it was negative. She took me out for coffee after a college class we had together.”

“Kylie? So you were with a woman?”

“Yes, we were together for a few months before Faustus found out. We would go to her apartment after class, and he found out after he installed an app on my phone. Then he followed me. He threatened her, and I was so afraid of what he’d do because he knows people, like people in law enforcement. So I let her go.”

“He threatened her? We might can use that. Has he ever done that before?”

“Not to me. Not until lately. He says he knows the sheriff of Harrison county.”

“Well, Mrs. Blackwood, so do I. And I can guarantee I have much more pull with him than your husband. So try not to let that sort of thing intimidate you.”

Zelda smiled. “Call me Zelda, please.”

“Alright, Zelda. Can you give me some more details about your monetary situation?”

Laying out their finances, Zelda explained how Faustus gambled away any money they held jointly, so she had opened her own accounts and put the trailer in her name when they bought it.

Donna seemed to be formulating a plan as she sketched out her notes, tapping her pen on her forehead from time to time.

“Can you think of anything else he might bring up in a hearing? Any other actions he’s found questionable?”

“There was a woman at work. She and I were trapped in the store during the hurricane and one thing led to another...” Zelda’s voice drifted off. 

“And I take it he knows about her?”

“He does,” Zelda rubbed her hands down her arms. “But I’m not with her. It’s complicated.”

“I see.” Donna went back around to her side of the desk, taking some forms out of the top drawer. “I’m going to ask you something I ask all my clients who want a divorce after a long marriage. Why now?”

Zelda considered her answer for a moment.

“I’m afraid if I don’t do it now, I never will. And I’ll be trapped. I know there’s something better out there for me and I’m ready to go get it.”

Donna seemed satisfied with the response, nodding her head and jotting down some information on the forms.

“So how would you like to proceed?”

“What-what do you mean? I thought you would tell me what I should do next,” the surprise showed on Zelda’s face as she spoke.

“No, that’s not how this works. You came to me, you’re hiring me. I have your details now. I need to know what you want. Do you want an easy divorce? If so, we will handle this one way. If you want to fight him for all your possessions, we will handle this another way.”

“It’s up to me?” Zelda’s hand went to her chest. “I never thought I had choices beyond just ending it.”

“Entirely up to you,” Donna’s tone left no question in the matter. “Do you have someone you can talk to about all of this, about how you feel about your options? I can see from your response this decision isn’t one you are quite ready to make.”

“I do have someone,” Zelda rose from the chair. “Can I call you tomorrow with my decision?”

Donna handed her a card. “Take a night. Sleep on it. Talk it out with someone you trust.”

Nodding, Zelda made her way to the door.

“Thank you,” Zelda turned to say. Donna nodded as the phone rang again.

Opening the door, Zelda felt like she was in good hands, although she had expected the lawyer would weigh all the facts and proceed using her best judgment. The options overwhelmed her, and moving forward was daunting right now.

She pulled her phone from her bag, her notifications lighting up the screen. Three calls and 10 text messages from Bobbie Jo alarmed her, so she hit redial as she started her car.

“Zelda, god finally, where are you?” Bobbie Jo’s frantic voice came through on the other end.

Sighing, Zelda placed the phone in the console as her Bluetooth picked up. “What’s going on? Did the roof collapse?”

“No, no nothing like that. Mark from corporate called. He was landing at the Gulfport airport right then. He’s on his way here to check on the store.”

Her heart hammering in her chest, Zelda knew she should be there, knew she should be the one to greet him, but it couldn't be helped.

“Listen carefully, Bobbie Jo. You can handle this. Just show him around, let him see what’s been repaired and what still needs attention. Show him how we rearranged each of the departments like he asked.” She tried to keep her voice calm as she heard the rapid breathing of her co-worker through the speakers.

“I can't, Zelda. Not like you. You have to come now. He’ll be here any minute,” Bobbie Jo whined petulantly, and Zelda’s annoyance showed in her response.

“Aren’t you always saying how you want more responsibility, how you want me to be able to depend on you? Hell, you run the place when I’m off. Take this first step and deal with him!”

“Why can’t you just come back?”

Zelda glanced down at the speedometer and saw she was speeding, looking around for state patrol as they always sat on the outskirts of Biloxi.

“You’re going to have to this time. I’m just leaving Biloxi and I won’t get there in time. If all else fails, have him call me and I can walk him through the details of how we plan to finish the process.”

“Okay, if that’s what you think is best.”

“Oh, and Bobbie Jo, let Lilith and Sheryl explain to him about the frozen food renovation.”

She felt a pain stab through her heart at the thought of Lilith, the loss she still felt hitting so hard she felt nauseous.

“Zelda, where should I say you are? He’ll ask, you know he will.”

“Tell him I had personal business,” Zelda told her as she took some deep breaths. “If he doesn’t like it he will call me anyway. Don’t worry, you can handle this.”

“I’m just not ready for -- oh hey there,” Zelda overheard, and the line went dead. She assumed their boss had entered the building and Bobbie Jo had disconnected suddenly.

Rolling down the window again, she inhaled the salty air, the emotions of the day washing over her. She pulled off at the next exit, driving along the service road next to the beach, turning in at the closest public entrance.

Feeling the gentle breeze on her face, she slipped off her shoes and rolled up her jeans, then walked to the edge of the water. The cool waves lapping at her toes calmed her, and she spotted some children building a sand castle ahead. She strolled closer to them, watching as they tried to keep the approaching water from collapsing their creation.

She remembered doing this very same thing with Hilda, their mother high up on the sand under an umbrella, cooler of beer at her feet.

Spreading out the towel she’d brought from the car, she sat facing the ocean, a smooth mirror on this quiet day. She saw shrimp boats sitting on the horizon, light gray clouds just beyond. 

Wanting to work through all she’d talked about with her attorney, Zelda decided to FaceTime her sister, the only person she felt might listen.

Picking up on the second ring, Hilda was a sight for sore eyes, and Zelda felt tears spring to hers before she blinked them away, thankful to be wearing dark sunglasses.

“Zeldy!!! Where are you? Why aren’t you at work?”

Hilda seemed to be at home, and it was quiet as she paused in her rapid fire questioning, so Zelda laughed and flipped the camera, showing the water and sand in front of her.

“Question 1 answered. The answer to question 2 is because I just visited a lawyer in Biloxi. I wanted to talk over a few things with you if you have time.”

“Ohhhh, okay well, yeah, I have time. What’s on your mind?”

Knowing how Hilda felt about her marriage to Faustus, Zelda struggled with being honest. She felt confident in her decision to leave him, but her sister’s opinion mattered.

“I’ve decided to leave Faustus. For good this time. I’ve been to see a lawyer and have to decide what I want to do, how I want to see this through.”

“So you called to talk to me about whether or not to fight him in court?”

“I guess, yes. But also to hear your opinion. I’m not sure what to do. My attorney said I could fight for my possessions or we could do this the easy way. Those are her words, not mine.”

“Can I ask what brought this on? This time?”

The second question made Zelda pause, wondering if this was a good idea after all.

“You know how he is, how he spends all our money.. Well, he lost his job. Again. He won’t fix anything around the house. And he still blames me for not having his baby.”

“He can’t help if the casino took too much damage to stay open right now. Things will pick back up when they rebuild. And he’s not a handyman. He doesn’t know how to repair your damaged roof.”

Zelda looked directly at Hilda, pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. 

“Why do I feel like you’ve already had this same conversation?”

Hilda looked away, nodding her head.

“All right, yeah, he called me yesterday. He said you were upset with him about his job and the trailer. But he also said you’re drinkin’ a lot, Zelda.”

“What does my drinking have to do with him losing his job, gambling our money away and calling our insurance company to repair our house. The house he lives in too?”

“Until you kicked him out.”

Her face incredulous, Zelda put her hand to her mouth.

“I don’t have to defend myself to you. You weren’t there, you didn’t hear what he said to me.”

“But you’re drinkin’, just like mama did. Driving your husband away like mama drove away daddy.”

“I kicked him out remember? He drinks as much as I do, but you’re not here to see that.”

“But I was there to watch our mama get blackout drunk every night until daddy couldn’t take it and left. I did see that.”

“Yes, and you left me with her. To clean up after her when she was too sick to get out of bed, and to hide all the beer bottles when anyone came to our house. When you finally came back around mama was clean, but I saw what it took for her to get there. She suffered.”

“She did suffer, you’re right. And I shoulda been there.”

Hilda began to cry as she often did when this topic arose, but Zelda didn’t have the time or the patience to be her counselor and absolve her of her guilt today. She tried to steer the conversation back to its origin.

“I really called to get your opinion. Do you think he has anything he could use to fight me in court?”

When Hilda didn’t answer right away, Zelda looked down at the phone from her vista on the beach.

“Hilda? Can you hear me? Are you still there?”

“He told me one more thing.”

Dread filled Zelda at the tone of her sister’s voice.

“And…?”

“He said you took up with another woman, one that works at your store. He said you even brought her home.”

Closing her eyes, Zelda pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Did he now? Well, that much is true. She and I were trapped in the store during the hurricane, and I would say we definitely have some chemistry -”

“And you’re leaving him for her? What makes you think it’s gonna be any different this time than with your lady friend when you were in college?”

“I am NOT leaving him for HER. It is time I left him, yes. But I’m doing it for ME!”

“All right, all right, you don’t have to shout at me. But you know you do this every few years, you take up with some woman you meet. And it never works out.”

Shaking her head, Zelda fought the anger she wanted to let loose on her sister, but she knew this wouldn’t be wise. She needed Hilda.

“I’m not going to argue with you on this. I’m not with Lilith now, and I don’t know that we will ever be together. But that’s not why I left.”

“Okay, whatever you say.” Hilda paused, seeming to consider how to advise Zelda. “He probably could make this real ugly in court. He’s got the women you’ve been with, the drinking, he even sent me a picture of a handprint on his face. I would take the easy way out if I were you.”

“Let him have it all? Have everything I’ve worked for, all the things I’ve bought with my hard earned money?”

“Yeah, Zeldy, or lose it all in front of your neighbors when he makes a public scene. What’s your private life worth to ya?”

Zelda told Hilda she would call her again soon and hung up the phone.

She stared at the black screen, her thoughts settled even after the turbulent conversation. She knew what she would tell her attorney to do.

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In doing research I have found divorce law to be brutal. So unfair to both parties. It is interesting to read the differences from state to state here in the US.

_How can you move forward when you don't even know where you've been?_

_Hopelessness has done nothing for me_

_I want this thing to live_

__hopelessness has done nothing for me - johanna warren_

For what it was worth, Zelda was happy she’d called her sister. Knowing where she stood with Hilda helped shape her perspective and decision making process. She also knew Hilda was a sucker for a sad story and Faustus knew that too. Given time, Hilda would see that was all he was trying to feed her, a story, and she would come around to Zelda’s side.

Her drive back to Gulfport took a bit longer with traffic on Highway 90, a stalled semi blocking one side of the narrow two lane road, and it gave her time to think, to process.

By the time she pulled into the parking lot of the Days Inn, she had added two more nights to her stay. Her plan was to find a more permanent place the next day, an apartment she could rent by the month until this divorce was finalized. 

Donna had given her some paperwork to read, and she thumbed through it while she sat on the bed with her salad and bottle of water. She realized she had not had any vodka in two days and it left her feeling clear headed, decisive.

Texting Bobbie Jo, she asked how the corporate visit had gone, and her phone rang back almost immediately.

“It was great!” Bobbie Jo’s voice was glowing, her smile evident as she spoke. “Of course, he wanted to see you, but he was very pleased with all the work you’d done. Well, we’d done. He said he’d talk with you soon.”

“You _did_ handle it! I told you that you could,” Zelda felt pride for her co-worker, for she had once been in her shoes.

“Thanks, Zelda. I appreciate your faith in me. Will you be in tomorrow?”

After saying she would, they hung up.

The night was quiet after that, and Zelda flipped through the channels, looking for something to distract her from the silence. But nothing held her attention long. She flipped through the paperwork again, writing down some questions she wanted to ask Donna when she called the next day. Glancing at the window, she watched the daylight turn to dusk, the lights coming on in the parking lot. 

Finally she settled on the bed, leaning back against the headboard to read a murder mystery she’d been trying to finish. She read til the words blurred, her eyes stinging with the effort to keep them open.

Sliding down in the bed, her last thoughts were of settling the matter with Faustus and seeing Lilith the next day.

  
  


The blaring alarm woke her, a shaft of light streaking through the blackout curtains as the sun rose. She had gotten up early enough to go for a walk, and as she slipped on her tennis shoes she felt better than she had in weeks.

The short drive to the beach was filled with Florida-Georgia Line’s “H.O.L.Y.”, windows rolled down and the scent of magnolias in the air. 

Zelda sprayed on some sunscreen and took off down the beach, the gently lapping waves the only sound around. In the distance she could see the high rise casinos breaking through the mist of early morning and her mind drifted to her husband.

Faustus had not started out a bad person, she reasoned. Selfish, yes. Spoiled, certainly. When life had not gone the way he had wanted, he had changed, become bitter. But he had helped her in his own way. He had pushed her to be better by reminding Zelda daily what she wasn’t. When she hadn’t been paid what she felt she was worth, he pointed out that she didn’t possess a high school diploma and she worked for her GED. When she was passed over time and time again for promotions, he was there to tell her she was too meek to lead, so she went to the community college to take classes in business. She had tried to improve herself every time life turned sour. He wallowed in his own self pity. And now she didn't feel she owed him anything. The time she had given him seemed payment enough now. 

The crunch of shells beneath her feet created a monotonous rhythm, and she allowed herself to focus on that. She would call Donna after she prepared for work, and she would tell her to set up a time to meet with Faustus’s lawyer. They could settle this like adults, and then it would be done.

When she doubled back and was almost to her car, she decided to drive by and check on the trailer, just to reassure herself that Faustus had not allowed it to collapse in on itself.

Turning right out of the public parking lot, she pulled through a small kiosk nearby to get some coffee, its sharp, strong flavor heightening her senses and fully bringing her awake. 

A few more stoplights and she was home, the trailer park quiet under the low hanging oak trees and Spanish moss dripping down their thick branches. She took a parallel track to her own home, turning to observe the seemingly empty trailer. No battered white pickup stood nearby, so she made a u-turn and drove straight past her trailer, slowing when she was closer. The covered porch was cleaned up, and the roof was under repair, much to her surprise. Paint cans littered the ground all around the entrance, brushes and tarps draped over the stairs. Faustus seemed to have been very industrious in the few days since she’d left.

“Ready to come beg my forgiveness, Zeldy?” she could almost hear his voice as she had in the past. When she had returned home after Kylie he had refused to let her in the house until she got on her knees and said she was sorry, humiliating her fully as she knelt on the porch. She seethed at the thought of it, the very idea of needing forgiveness irking her now. 

Driving away, her ire got the better of her and she dialed Donna’s number.

The woman answered on the second ring.

After some pleasantries, Zelda stated her business.

“What exactly do I need to do to fight him? To get what is mine, I mean to say.”

Donna paused, and Zelda could hear her shuffling papers in the background.

“So it seems you have grounds to divorce him on mental cruelty and adultery if that’s the route you want to take. But remember, he may bring those same charges against you.”

“Would he have to name names. You know, say the names of the women he’s been with?”

Zelda didn’t want to drag Lilith’s name into any legal proceedings, knowing she didn’t need any more troubles if she was going to get her daughter back.

“Oh no, that’s not necessary. He would accuse you of the same thing, but in Mississippi the only cause for divorce that drags out the proceedings is irreconcilable differences. You did use that term when we met yesterday, but that isn’t the direction we have to take. All we need is to meet and come to an agreement on a settlement. Do you want to sit down with your husband and his lawyer and try to hammer all this out, or would you like me to handle it, coming to you with their offer and making a counter offer?”

Thinking about the pleasure of watching Faustus grovel, Zelda agreed to an arranged meeting where they all could sit down and talk in person.

She hung up with Donna, telling her that Friday afternoon worked best for her, knowing full well Faustus had a free and clear schedule now that he was unemployed.

As much as she felt anger and resentment for where she was now, at this point, driving to a hotel instead of being at her own home, she knew this could be settled quickly now and she would be back in her trailer soon.

Showering then dressing for work, she felt butterflies in her stomach knowing she’d see Lilith today, and she carefully did her hair, styling it in loose waves around her shoulders. She applied a little color on her fair skin, the morning sun having added some freckles across her nose. Satisfied with her appearance, she left, driving quickly to the store.

She found Bobbie Jo sitting behind her desk already, typing up estimates for the final repairs.

“Zelda! You look so nice!” She grinned over her computer screen. 

Rolling her eyes, she put down her bag and looked at the notes Mark had left her from his visit the day before. He had noted a few spots that still needed attention, especially in the grocery area.

Heading in that direction, she noticed that Sheryl was working alone.

“Hey, Sheryl. Where’s Lilith this morning?”

Sheryl began to answer but was interrupted suddenly.

“I’m here, I’m here!” They both turned in the direction of the voice, Lilith jogging up to them, clearly out of breath. “I overslept this morning, didn’t hear my alarm.”

“Okay, that’s what we’re calling it now?” Sheryl smirked at Lilith, and the brunette gave her a wide eyed look, glancing in Zelda’s direction.

Feeling as if she was a fifth wheel, Zelda smiled. “I’ll let y’all get back to work.” She walked away to hear giggling behind her and she caught Sheryl’s loud whisper - “I heard you on the phone!” 

She had wanted to talk to Lilith, just to spend a few moments in her presence, but it could wait. Looking back over her shoulder, Sheryl seemed to be saying something Lilith didn’t want to hear, and the brunette threw up her hands, walking away to work in another section.

Not having time to dwell on their disagreement, Zelda went back into her office, checking her email to discover Donna had set the meeting for Friday afternoon. She’d have to make the drive to back Biloxi, and she considered making the drive worth it in another way.

Everything seemed to be moving smoothly enough for their reopening set for Monday, so Zelda took the time to look at rental properties online. A new complex had opened nearby, and she studied the one bedroom floorplan. Each unit included a screened-in balcony which seemed perfect. She set up an appointment to go view one over her lunch break.

The rest of the morning went by quickly, and Zelda soon left to look at the apartment. Gleaming white in the summer sun, each building contained six separate pre-furnished apartments, and the demo unit was open and airy. Zelda’s eyes traveled to the balcony where she could see herself reading, surrounded by green leafy plants, and drinking a glass of wine. Each room was spacious, and she visualized having someone over for dinner, sitting around the table, enjoying each other’s company. She never felt comfortable enough to do that with Faustus, and he seemed to resent even having Hilda and Cerberus over when they still lived in Gulfport. 

A one bedroom unit seemed to be a reasonable price, so she filled out the paperwork and waited for her credit check to be completed. She accidentally gave the account number for her joint checking with Faustus, and the apartment manager seemed embarrassed when she came back to her desk.

“I’m sorry, but your checking account is overdrawn by quite a lot. This doesn’t look good for wanting to rent with us today.”

“Wait a minute, use this account.” Zelda jotted down the number on the form. The woman left to verify the new information.

Pulling out her phone, Zelda opened the banking app to see that a large withdrawal had been made yesterday, cleaning out the account. 

Soon returning, the woman told her everything was fine. She signed all the forms and was told she could move in as soon as tomorrow afternoon. Satisfied with that, Zelda decided she would go over after work and get the remainder of her things. They had purchased the furniture in the trailer together, and she wasn’t attached to any of it. 

Driving back to the store, Zelda felt a peace she hadn’t in a very long time. She had a place of her own, paid for herself, which gave her a sense of pride.

Remembering the cleaned out bank account, she drove the nearest branch and discovered Faustus had removed all the money, taking it in a lump sum. 

The woman she spoke to pulled an envelope from a locked drawer in her desk.

“Your husband filled out the necessary paperwork to close this account already. He asked if you came in to have you sign the form as well.”

“And what if I don’t? Will the overdraft charges keep growing, and who will be responsible for those?” Zelda dug in her heels, angry that they had allowed Faustus to take money from their joint account without consulting her.

“We are willing to forgo those charges if you close the account now.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Zelda kept her voice calm, rapidly losing her patience with the bureaucrat in front of her. “You allowed my husband, for whatever reason, to come in here and take all our money without my knowledge or permission. And now you’re acting like any further responsibility for this account becomes mine if I refuse to close it.”

The woman looked Zelda in the eye, taking a pen from a cup on her desk and holding it out.

“When you opened your account you signed a document that gives either party permission to close the account. Would you like me to show you a copy of that form?” 

Seething now, Zelda grabbed the pen, scribbling her signature on the line below Faustus’s name. “That’s not necessary, but you can prepare one of these forms for my own account. Close out my savings and checking accounts. Give it all to me now.”

Looking down, the woman finally blinked, “Fine, well, I am sorry -”

“A little late for that, I believe.”

Zelda crossed her arms and moved to sit back in the lobby until a cashier’s check was brought to her.

  
  
  


She returned to the store, parking next to Lilith’s Jeep and seeing the brunette happily talking on her phone from the front seat. 

“I know, honey. I can’t wait to see you either.” Lilith's warm tone brought a smile to Zelda’s face, the tension from the bank seeping away for a moment. 

Not wanting to eavesdrop, she closed the door to her car and started to walk inside.

“Zelda, wait -” Lilith called, her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone.

Doubling back, Zelda leaned on her car while Lilith finished talking.

“So daddy tells me you took the training wheels off your bike…..Baby, I’m so proud of you…..And you rode it all by yourself?.....You’ve gotten to be a big girl while Mama’s been gone…..” Zelda heard the catch in Lilith’s voice as she spoke those last words, the remorse in the next ones. “Darlin’ don’t cry…..Mama will see you soon, remember?.....We’re gonna meet up in Birmingham and go to the zoo…..That’s right…..Okay, honey, Mama has to go back to work now…..Bye bye and two big kisses just for you.”

She heard Lilith take a deep breath after she hung up, wiping quickly at her eyes as she hopped out of the Jeep.

“Give me a second,” she asked Zelda, getting herself together and looking off in the distance. “It’s hard hearing her cry from missing me. That’s what kills me.”

“You’re very brave and strong to do what’s right for her though. I’d want to go snatch her up and never look back,” Zelda’s eyes filled with empathetic tears.

“Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. But, like you said, it’s what’s good for her right now. And Adam is a great dad, so I know she’s okay. If he wasn’t, she’d be here with me now.” 

Zelda rubbed Lilith’s arm gently, trying to restrain herself from taking Lilith in her arms, from comforting her.

“Now,” Lilith said once she had her voice under control. “How are you?”

They walked slowly towards their own smoking area, both of them needing the relief a smoke would bring.

“I’m doing well, actually. Haven’t had a drink in two days.”

“Oh Zelda, that’s great! How do you feel?”

“Clear headed. Which has been good considering what I’ve spent the past few days doing,” Zelda leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, handing Lilith her lighter.

“I heard Bobbie Jo calling you the other day, asking where you were. You aren’t at home now?”

Shaking her head, Zelda explained about the squatter rights letter Faustus had from his lawyer and how she’d ended up in a hotel.

“Doesn’t that mean you abandoned the property and he took it over?” Lilith made a face at the ridiculous notion.

“It does. And it’s crazy, but not surprising,” Zelda studied some ants crawling along a crack in the ground. “I got a new place today, one of those apartments at the new complex down the road. Northwind, I think it’s called.”

“Yeah? Good for you. I need to start looking for a new home. It’s like you said, I have no privacy and zero warm water when I shower,” Lilith laughed and inhaled deeply on her cigarette.

“It’s just for now, til everything gets settled.” Holding in the smoke she’d inhaled, Zelda felt a boldness as she spoke again. “Maybe you should look at Northwind for a place.”

Lilith shrugged. “I might do that.”

They grew quiet as they both lit a second cigarette, the sound of traffic and seagulls flying above distracting them both.

“So you’re going to see Brina in Birmingham?” Zelda finally spoke.

“Yeah, that’s actually this weekend. This will be the first time I’ve seen her face to face since I got out of rehab. I saw her before I left Tennessee, and we usually FaceTime, but nothing beats spending time with her,” Lilith’s voice went soft. “I’ll be gone for two days.”

“That’s not much time. Don’t you want to stay longer?”

“Of course I do, but gas isn’t cheap, and neither is a motel room. It’s enough time to see her, to talk to her, to be sure she’s really okay. Her daddy will give us that.”

Zelda felt so deeply for Lilith, and she wished she could do something to help.

“I’m glad you’re going. I think I’m going to spend some time setting up my new apartment. Maybe you can come see it when you get back.”

Lilith smiled, her lips curving up and a dimple appearing on her cheek Zelda had never noticed. “I’d like that, Zelda.”

Both of them leaned down to crush out their cigarettes, fingers brushing as they dropped them in the coffee can.

They looked at each other, then backed away, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

  
  


Friday afternoon came quickly, and Zelda left early to hurry home and change before driving to Biloxi. She had moved all her clothes and belongings she wanted to keep into the apartment the night before, an easy job considering all she’d left behind. Mysteriously, Faustus had not been home when she went in, and had not appeared as she loaded up her car.

Putting on a posey red cotton shirtdress, she buttoned the front, leaving a few top buttons undone. She clasped a tiny diamond pendant around her neck and put on tiny matching earrings. Brushing her hair and spraying on some light perfume, she felt good about herself, trying to tamp down her nerves at what she was about to do.

Looking at herself in the mirror she was reminded of how she felt to be desired, how Lilith had looked at her in the dim light of the store. She wanted that feeling again.

She drove to Biloxi, arriving at the office of Carter Sanderson 10 minutes before her appointment. Her attorney had asked for her wait in the parking lot so they could walk in together. _A united front_ , she had said.

Donna arrived a few minutes later, the picture of seriousness in her black pantsuit and stark white blouse beneath. Zelda refreshed her lipstick and stepped out of her car.

Opening the door, Donna allowed Zelda to enter first, the blast of air conditioning hitting her and causing her to wrap her arms around herself, rubbing her hands down her forearms. 

The young man behind the reception desk pointed them in the direction of the conference room, and they stopped just outside the door.

“Are you ready for this?” Donna looked Zelda in the eye, a gentle hand on her arm.

Zelda narrowed her eyes, “I’m more than ready. I’ve waited for this day for years.” 

With a nod and a sly grin, Donna opened the door, greeting the opposing attorney and Zelda came in behind her, eyes focused on the figure sitting across the table as she sat down. 

“Hello, Faustus,” she said with a glint in her eye. “Now where the hell is my money?”

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t give a shit what some judge says, the bitch needs to cough up 30 grand or I’m going to her bosses at Walmart and telling them about her screwin’ that girl durin’ that hurricane. In their store.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not pretend for a second to have any training in divorce negotiations. But it was sure fun writing it!

_how can you be sorry when you don't even know what you did?_

  
_you can take your stories to hell, I've got nothing left to give_

_-hopelessness has done nothing for me - johanna warren_

“Well, hey, Zelda. You’re lookin’ good. Tryin’ sobriety on for size?” He looked her up and down, eyes drifting to the open buttons on her dress.

She rolled her eyes, seating herself next to Donna who snickered behind her hand. 

“And I see you decided to give hygiene a go. That’s a win win for everyone concerned.” Her smug voice did nothing but make him break out in a grin.

“There she is, there’s my girl,” he laughed, throwing his head back when her eyes narrowed in anger.

Leaning over to whisper in Zelda’s ear, Donna held up her hand. “If you let him bait you now, you’ll really lose your temper when he goes for the jugular, his attorney I mean. Pace yourself.”

Zelda settled back, schooling her features into something placid and calm.

Donna began by addressing Faustus’s lawyer.

“Carter, I know you well enough to know this squatter rights thing is just grandstanding on your part. We both know my client didn’t abandon her home, and there is no record of Mr. Blackwood paying any owed taxes on the property. So that’s off the table.”

Carter Sanderson shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for trying. And it was effective to a point. Mrs. Blackwood did leave the premises, presumably to take up with her newfound lover.”

Zelda shifted in her seat, leaning forward as she started to answer, but Donna placed her hand on her arm.

“There aren’t any cameras here. No media to record your antics, so let’s stick to the facts.”

Pulling out the notes she’d taken when talking to Zelda, the redhead also noticed bank records, billing documents, and other reports she didn’t recognize.

“First, your client withdrew all the funds from their joint checking account, money that was at least 85% Mrs. Blackwood’s earnings --”

“Which he was well within his rights to do --” Sanderson interrupted.

“I’m setting up a pattern here, Carter, let me finish,” Donna shot back.

“Second, after Mrs. Blackwood asked him to leave, he re-entered the property, claiming, as I’ve stated, that he had rights as a tenant to occupy.”

“Also well within his rights to do, Donna, you know that.”

“Certainly, Carter,” she emphasized his name impatiently. “but as a squatter? No.”

She pulled a document from the pile, a canceled check paper-clipped to the corner.

“This check is from Mrs. Blackwood’s account, not their joint one. And as I looked back, each year the taxes were paid by her and her alone.”

“How do you know he didn’t give her money and she just combined it with her contribution and wrote one check? You’re making lots of suppositions.”

Donna looked at Zelda. “Did he give you money to pay your property taxes?”

“He did not. If I hadn’t handled all our finances, we’d have no trailer, no cars, nothing,” Zelda answered, looking at Faustus who seemed slightly ashamed when his lawyer questioned him about it, speaking behind his hand.

“So, as I said, that claim is off the table. Mr. Blackwood’s lack of employment notwithstanding, he has shown an utter disregard for his wife as a provider in their life together. The trailer should belong to Mrs. Blackwood, as she has been the sole contributor to its mortgage and upkeep.” Donna shifted some papers around, retrieving the mortgage company’s records indicating the monthly debit from Zelda’s account only.

“Now just a damn minute,” Faustus spoke up, his attorney indicating that he should sit back and remain quiet. “No, I won't be quiet. She’s not going to get away with this. I did the upkeep on our house. I fixed the broken roof, painted the exterior, repaired and repainted the ceilings -”

“After the hurricane!” Zelda interjected. “And only because you thought it was going to be yours alone. The condition of it didn’t matter when it was the both of us living there.”

“Zelda, you know that’s not true. Why, just last month I fixed the washing machine when it broke down,” Faustus’s oily voice grated Zelda’s nerves and she scowled at him.

“No, actually, you didn’t,” Zelda turned to Donna. “He had a friend come over, telling him they’d watch the race and then he sweet talked him into repairing the machine.”

“How’s that any different? It got fixed.” Scowling himself now, Faustus poked his lip out like a scolded child.

Carter Sanderson spoke up, taking advantage of the lull in conversation.

“What does your client want to do with the trailer? We can negotiate Mr. Blackwood’s share of Mrs. Blackwood’s retirement plan, the payoff of his vehicle, and the division of other marital property, but what does she want to do with their home?”

Donna leaned back, her hand to Zelda’s ear, “It would be nice, before we go before the judge, to have all our ducks in a row. Do you want this trailer as a home, or would you sell it?”

She hadn’t considered the possibility of selling the trailer, and the idea appealed to her suddenly. It was time for a brand new start, not a dip back into old memories and failures.

“Let’s sell it. But I should get the money, he’s never paid anything towards it.”

Donna sighed. “Unfortunately his needs are going to be taken into account. That’s the law. He has to be left with something. The rules aren’t that the property is divided equally, it just has to be in an equitable manner. So you will get the lion’s share, but he won’t be left high and dry.”

Zelda sighed in frustration, realizing she needed to divulge one more piece of information.

“You have the list the judge declared marital property: our vehicles, the house and my retirement account. But I feel like he’s going to try to bring up one more issue.” 

Donna looked at her with a puzzled expression, and at that same moment Faustus looked at the document his lawyer was pointing towards.

“Where’s the part where she has to pay me back for all those pregnancy treatments that didn’t take?” he blurted out.

“Mr. Blackwood, as we spoke about in my office yesterday, that was a joint decision between you, your wife and your doctor. That isn’t part of what the judge declared your marital property,” his lawyer patiently spoke to him like a father calming a raging child.

“She owes me! That was my whole inheritance from my daddy! And it was just gone, and we got nothin’ for it!”

“Faustus, we talked about this. The judge determined -”

“I don’t give a shit what some judge says, the bitch needs to cough up 30 grand or I’m going to her bosses at Walmart and telling them about her screwin’ that girl durin’ that hurricane. In their store.”

_And there it is, he’s played his hand. The money, it was always the money and what it represented._

The room went quiet, Donna’s eyes wide as she glanced over at Zelda, whose face was as red as a tomato. Faustus’s lawyer had the good sense to get up from the table at that moment, walking over to get some coffee from the pot in the corner.

“Zelda, I think that, given the turn this has taken, we may need to reschedule --” Donna started to say.

“No, Donna,” Zelda interrupted, her voice low. “Let's you and me go outside for a minute. We can settle this right here, right now.”

They stood from the table, moving to the door.

“And don’t think for a minute I wouldn’t do it. See how long you keep that fancy job after that.” Faustus got in one last shot before Zelda closed the door behind them.

“Well, that was some performance he put on in there. You know, I do have his employment record you gave me. I could easily bring that up, along with the reasons why he was let go,” Donna said with confidence.

“It’s the money, that’s the real issue. The money and his failure.”

“His failure?” Donna asked, unsure of which failure Zelda meant.

“His daddy told him no real man would have to have a doctor knock up his wife. Any man could get a girl pregnant. Every single time we saw his family they reminded him somehow. They’d give us a carseat, or a highchair, but never any hope, nothing to let him know the failure wasn’t his, wasn’t mine. The last gift they gave us was a crib, and I kept that. I decorated a whole room in our house around that. And then when his daddy did die, we had money, we could try what the doctor suggested - the IVF, but they failed too. We failed. So that money represents him getting his life back, not being a failure.”

“Seems a little too deep and psychologically sound for the likes of him, if you don’t mind me saying so. He had no trouble throwing what must be an embarrassing secret of yours out for all of us to hear. Are you sure he’s not just being an asshole?”

“Yes, he is most definitely being an asshole, but I watched him, watched what it did to him. He’s ashamed.” Zelda smoothed the front of her wrinkled dress.

“But that’s not your fault. And you don’t owe him a thing.”

“Oh I know that. And I have no intention of paying him anything. I just wanted you to understand him a bit better.”

“Well, if you feel confident he won’t try to ruin your career, then what’s your plan? What do you plan to do when we go back in and negotiate?” Donna seemed unsure after the dramatic ploy from Faustus.

“I plan to lay everything on the table, bit by painful bit. He won’t see it through my eyes, he never has. But he can hear it just the same,” Twisting the door handle, Zelda met Donna’s gaze. “And he would never follow through with that threat because I’ve got more on him then just some late night tryst.”

Regretting the words as they left her mouth, ashamed of the attempt she was making to downgrade what she felt about Lilith, Zelda swallowed and grabbed the door handle, jerking it open in an effort to take the men inside by surprise.

“And she wanted it as much as I —“ Faustus was saying.

They both jumped apart at the sound, and Zelda took the opportunity to look Faustus in the eye, trying to see what he held just under the surface. For a moment she thought she saw weakness there, as if she were perfectly aware what he and his attorney had been discussing. She could guess the topic.

“Gentlemen, I think it’s time we got down to business, no more games. We need to come up with a settlement that we can all agree on, and we all know my client has more to lose here. So she’d like to say a few things in an effort to balance the scales after Mr. Blackwood’s dramatic declaration.” 

Zelda had to admire Donna’s ability to turn a phrase, but she had decided to cut to the chase, growing weary of this whole thing.

Both men turned their skeptical gaze towards Zelda, and she sat up a little straighter knowing she held their attention.

“Mr. Sanderson, you seem to be a good lawyer, and my husband is paying you well, and with my money too. But I don’t think you have the full picture of what life has been like being married to him. So I’m going to spell it out for you.”

Faustus sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.

“Can she do that? Can she just sit there and run me into the ground?”

His lawyer politely ignored him, turning his eyes fully on Zelda as she spoke.

“It’s a shame your automatic assumption is negative, Faustus. We had some good years. Why, when we first married it was all fun and games. We went out constantly, and I felt like some kind of high roller when we went places and everyone knew your name. Your mama and daddy welcomed me, even inviting my sister along when we went to their lake house for the Fourth every year. I thought our life was a dream back then.”

“See,” Faustus gestured toward her with his open hand. “I treated you like a queen. And you just threw it back in my face.”

“Yes, that is exactly how you seemed to feel when I got my GED and associate degree. As soon as I decided to better myself and do something for me, it upset you.” Zelda held her anger under the surface as she recalled his reactions.

“Why’d you need to go back to school? It was bad enough you spent all your time readin’ books and not takin’ care a me.”

Closing her eyes, Zelda flattened her palms against the table as she responded.

“Because I wanted something for myself, something that could never be taken away from me. Don’t you remember what happened right before that?”

He shrugged, but she knew he’d never forget that day.

“Your daddy had finally told you no when you went to him to pay off your debts, your bar tabs and money you’d borrowed. And when those frightening men came around, you gave them the only thing we had.”

His gaze was dark and menacing then, but she had his attention.

Zelda recalled the moment she knew she needed to get out of this marriage. She walked in on him and a man wearing sunglasses sitting at their kitchen table. Faustus had the deed to their trailer in front of him, the only thing they owned free and clear, and he was signing it away. The shock she felt gave way to fear, wondering just how deep the hole Faustus had dug himself into was. And exactly how she was going to dig herself out of it.

“After we found a rental property we could afford on my salary, I started studying for my GED, and people starting taking notice of me at work. Me, and not for being your wife, for trying to better myself. And it seemed like you did all you could after that to make things harder for us.”

“You wanted a baby, you told me that. But then you were working all the time --” he whined, his voice so like the one he tried to use on his parents when he wanted something.

“I did, I did want a baby.” And as all the memories rushed back, Zelda choked back tears. “I thought you did too.”

He wouldn’t look at her, staring at his hands as they rested in his lap.

“But it wasn’t a baby you wanted, was it?” Her voice went quiet, not expecting to still have this reaction after all this time, but she steeled herself before she continued. “You just wanted to look like a man to your daddy.”

He looked up then, a muscle twitching in his cheek as he fought off the wild range of emotions she saw in his eyes.

“And you couldn’t even do that for me; you couldn’t even bother to be woman enough to do that.” His rage was barely contained, and Zelda thought for a moment he’d lunge across the table, but just as soon as his anger began it subsided, and he slumped miserably in his seat.

“I tried for 10 years to give you what I thought you wanted, and at the same time I was trying to keep us afloat. And I was miserable. The only thing that kept me sane was going back to school and moving up in my company,” Zelda explained, seeing a glimmer of recognition in Faustus. “And I did, I became more successful than I ever thought possible.”

“And you gave up on us,” Faustus muttered.

Raising her brows, Zelda nodded. “I suppose I did. But there wasn’t much to give up by then. You went to work in Biloxi, and your paychecks were just pocket money to you. I was the provider for us. I still am.”

“That’s what you loved best of all.” He looked up at her again, the sardonic grin back on his face. “Is that what you like about that skinny girl at your job? She lets you wear the pants and be the boss with her too? Come to think of it, I’d kinda like to see that. I shoulda just let her stay on when you brought her home; that woulda been a real sexy show.”

“You disgust me.” Zelda spat. She sat back again, wondering why she ever thought he would see things from her perspective, or why she even cared at this point. It was well and truly over between them.

At that point her lawyer chose to bring back up the topic of the trailer.

“Mrs. Blackwood is ready to sell the trailer and its furnishings, provided she receives the majority of the proceeds.”

Sanderson nodded, pointing to some figures as Faustus leaned forward to read what he’d written.

“And as for the portion of Mrs. Blackwood’s retirement Mr. Blackwood is owed, she’d be willing to give him five percent, one percent for every year she’s been contributing to the 401k.”

“That sounds fair,” Sanderson concluded. “Faustus?”

“I guess,” he pouted. “Now what about my 30 grand? Where’s that coming from?”

He would not be contained by his lawyer on this point; he was still livid over Zelda’s admittances of his failures.

“You’re not getting anything else from me. End of story.” Zelda set her mouth in a firm line, he mind on his earlier threat to call corporate and disclose her behavior. “And if you think your pitiful threat is going to discourage me otherwise, then you have another thing coming. After all, I still have these.”

She leaned down to her bag on the floor, lifting a manila folder and laying it on the table, black and white photos spilling out. Sliding one in Faustus’s direction, the camera had caught him palming chips, the next photo showing him dropping them in a bucket beneath his station.

“There’s this one. Your daddy was able to talk your way out of that when they threatened to call the Mississippi Gaming Board and have you blacklisted in every casino in Gulfport.”

She pushed another across the table, the photo showing a woman playing blackjack and cheering, hugging him as he slid a pile of chips towards her.

“How old was she again, 15? Yeah, that one was a little tougher because it threatened the whole casino itself, but her parents were more than willing to keep it all hush hush.”

Faustus’s attorney was looking at the door longingly as he glanced at his client whose mouth was set in anger. 

“Wonder if the Gaming Board would still be interested in these? I’m sure a phone call to Jackson would tell me right quick.” 

Zelda knew she had won. He couldn’t fight off all these claims, and she still had several more photos in the folder, as Faustus could see. He sat back in defeat.

“So,” Donna interrupted the tense exchange. “Shall I have someone type up this agreement so we can be on our way today?”

“I’m satisfied with that.” Zelda put away the photos and let out a breath.

“Carter?” Donna asked. “Are you and your client in agreement?”

Faustus gave a terse nod, and his attorney did the same.

They waited a few more minutes, and then several copies of the property dispersal were passed around, initialed and signed, then given to a courier to be filed at the courthouse.

“Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure. Carter, I’ll get the final documents to you for signature as soon as the judge signs off.” 

Donna shook the attorney’s hand and Zelda did too while Faustus stood back, arms crossed and steely gaze straight ahead.

They walked out side by side, and Zelda allowed herself to smile for the first time in days. She was almost free, but she felt like celebrating now.

“Donna,” she turned to her lawyer. “I can’t thank you enough. A giant weight has been lifted off of me, finally.”

“It was quite pleasurable to watch you produce those photos, although you know all those charges have probably already been settled.” Donna shrugged. “He knows that you know, and that you’d dog him everywhere he goes, and that’s all that matters.”

“Exactly,” Zelda grinned. “Hey, it’s Friday afternoon, and you just won a case! Want to go have a drink?”

Donna appeared to think about it, then smiled broadly. “Why not? And I know a really nice place right on the water.”

They rode in Donna’s car, leaving Zelda’s parked in the law firm lot.

“Zelda,” Donna asked as she adjusted the air conditioning and turned down the radio. “Did you really shag a woman in your store during the hurricane? I have been dying to ask you that since he blurted that out.”

“This will be covered by attorney-client privilege, right? I saw that on Law and Order. Is that really a thing?” 

“Consider me your priest. My lips are sealed.” Donna made the zipper motion over her mouth.

“Well,” Zelda felt waves of arousal wash over her at the thought of Lilith’s face between her legs, her light blue eyes staring up at her. “Yeah, yeah, that happened.” 

She felt herself blush as she relived the memories, the way Lilith had made her come harder and faster than anyone ever had, the pride she felt as she felt the same reaction from the brunette.

Donna chuckled when Zelda began to squirm in her seat.

“That must have been some kind of night. Where is this woman now? Does she still work with you?”

“She does.” Zelda toyed with her wedding ring, slipping it off and thinking about what she could do with it now. “I don’t regret being with her at all. And I’m pretty sure she feels the same way.”

“Think you two have any kind of future?” Donna concentrated on the road, the traffic increasing the closer they got to the beach.

“I’m not sure. I’ve been so focused on this, getting myself free from Faustus, that thinking about much else has been difficult.”

“I’ll bet. But now you are free to pursue whoever you like,” the lawyer pointed out. “Be careful with a workplace romance, especially since you are her supervisor. That could get sticky.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to become one of those textbook cases they make you watch in videos for sexual harassment training.” Zelda chuckled, but her voice was serious. “She’s a good person, and I’d be lucky to have her.”

They arrived and walked into the bar, the five o’clock crowd just starting to filter in.

Settling at a table, Zelda let Donna order and thought for a minute. She’d been alcohol free for a few days, and felt pride in her determination, but she did have cause to celebrate. Just one drink and she’d stop.

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We all need at least one vice, in my opinion,” Donna said as she slowly sipped her fruity drink. “Fortunately for you mine isn’t alcohol.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Mississippi still had prohibition laws until July of this year.

_if today was not a crooked highway_   
_if tonight was not a crooked trail_   
_if tomorrow wasn't such a long time_   
_then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all_

_-tomorrow is a long time - bob dylan_

Ever since she could remember, celebrating coexisted with drinking. When her daddy got a promotion at work, he slipped her a sip of his beer. Never mind she was only seven. When Hilda graduated from high school, they threw her a kegger right on the beach, and Zelda waved the funnel at whoever dared challenge her. At her wedding the pink champagne flowed freely; pink because it matched her dress and she thought it was classy. And now, with the impending divorce well under way, a celebration drink with the woman who helped make it happen seemed right.

Sitting at the bar table with Donna, her first instinct was to order a vodka straight, to hold that first sip in her mouth, roll the chilled, almost gelatinous feel around on her tongue, then swallow suddenly, the cold dropping like an ice cube to her stomach, followed by the delicious burn. After a few sips everything around faded and only Donna’s curious gaze remained.

“You’re nursing that drink like it’s gonna be your last,” the blonde drawled, her tongue clearly relaxed by the tequila sunrise before her.

Zelda threw back the glass, finishing it off as the numbness she used to crave flowed over her.

“I’ve been as dry as Winn Dixie on Sunday for almost a week. This is going straight to my head.” Zelda sat back and contemplated ordering another, finally giving in when the waiter approached.

Donna sipped her drink, people watching, discouraging any unwanted attention by lifting her glass with her left hand, wedding band prominently displayed.

“Is that why your soon to be ex made that crack about sobriety when we walked in?” 

With an eye roll, the redhead twirled her now empty glass in her two hands. 

“He’s no saint himself, but he knows it’s my vice. I come from a long line of alcoholics, and my parents both enjoyed letting loose from time to time,” she paused, gripping her glass tightly as she looked around for the waiter. “But I’m not that. An alcoholic, I mean.”

Zelda visibly relaxed as the young man returned to their table, exchanging her glass for a full one. The look of relief passing over her face as she brought the glass to her lips didn’t go unobserved by her companion.

“We all need at least one vice, in my opinion,” Donna said as she slowly sipped her fruity drink. “Fortunately for you mine isn’t alcohol.”

“Oh yeah? How is that fortunate for me?” Zelda signaled the waiter to bring her another.

“Because, Zelda, you are slowly working your way through that vodka bottle behind the bar. You’ll need a ride back to Gulfport.”

“Is that your vice then? Going drinking with clients so you can play designated driver?” Zelda’s voice slurred slightly across the consonants.

“No,” Donna shook her head, twisting her wedding band. “I like a vice I have some measure of control over. I tend to be irresponsible when I’ve had too much.”

Her third drink firmly in hand, Zelda leaned back and savored the moment. 

“Thank you for today. For all you did. For listening and being a damn good lawyer.” Lifting her glass, Donna met her in the middle, the clinking sound reverberating in Zelda’s ears.

“That’s what you paid me for. I’m glad we were able to settle it today and not draw it out over several meetings. Carter Sanderson is known for dragging his feet and being difficult, but we made an example of him he won’t soon forget.”

Setting her eyes upon the blonde as she spoke, Zelda was curious.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” she asked.

Donna grinned. “Are you trying to tell me all those enunciation classes I took paid off? I’m from Pascagoula.”

“You wanted to get rid of your accent? Whyever would you do that?”

“Because no law firm in New York City would hire a girl straight off the shrimp boat. I was attempting to blend in up there, not stick out like a sore thumb every time I opened my mouth.”

“So you went to law school in New York?” Zelda finished her glass, and Donna drank the last of her own. Their waiter brought the check and Zelda grabbed it before Donna could.

Donna answered as they were walking out the door, one hand on Zelda’s back as she wobbled in her platform sandals. The late afternoon heat had given way to evening, and the ocean breeze cooled the air around them. 

“I couldn’t wait to get away from here. My plan was to take New York by storm and never come back. But, as you can see, plans change.”

She slipped the wedding band off and placed it in the console between their seats.

“You’re not married?” Zelda hadn’t noticed any personal photographs in her office, so the wedding band had been a surprise.

Shaking her head, Donna made sure Zelda was buckled in before she placed her car into reverse, “There is no way I’d marry anyone knowing marriage and family law in Mississippi the way I do. Well, you’ve experienced it.”

Letting the hum of the engine and the smooth feel of the road wash over her, Zelda was feeling the effects of the vodka now.

“Yeah, I would think twice if anyone ever asked me again, which isn’t going to happen anyway. I’m way past that.”

Donna cut her eyes in Zelda’s direction, noticing the way she leaned back against the headrest.

“You’re not past anything. And you’ve got that young thing pursuing you at your job.” Zelda smiled behind closed eyes at the thought of Lilith. “You are a beautiful woman, Zelda.”

Opening one eye, Zelda gave Donna the once over, finding Donna’s gaze travelling up and down the length of her body, pausing at how her dress had ridden up on her thighs.

She sat up, noticing that they were now on Highway 90 heading for Gulfport.

“You really are driving me home. I thought you were joking about your good samaritan ways.”

Donna chuckled. “There’s no way I’d have let you get behind the wheel in your condition. You could barely make it to my car without me holding you steady.”

Zelda held her hands up in mock defeat. 

“Okay, okay, you win. This is really out of your way though.”

“My condo’s on this side of Biloxi, so it’s not too bad.”

They rode in silence, both of them watching the moon over the water, and Donna rolled down her window. The fast rush of wind around her car mixed with the scent of the ocean.

“Why’d you stay around here, Zelda? The way you took on your husband today you would have made a fine lawyer yourself.”

Staring out towards the ocean, Zelda didn’t answer right away. Donna finally glanced her way to see how lost in her own thoughts the other woman was.

“Plain and simple, I stayed because my family needed me. I didn’t do so well in school.” She paused and Donna scoffed incredulously.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Oh no, it wasn’t because I couldn’t do the work, it was because I missed too many days. When they wanted me to repeat 10th grade, I dropped out. I couldn’t see myself finishing, not the way things were going at home.”

“Do you mind me asking why?”

“My mother was ill, she needed help and we couldn’t afford a hospital. She stayed home and I took care of her. Some days I was afraid to leave her alone.”

“Was your father around? Or any siblings?”

She could see the lights of Gulfport in the distance, and Zelda was reminded of nights she and her mama rode Highway 90 in the dark, the long stretch of blacktop right along the water a friend and an enemy. When things grew dark in her mother’s mind, they often drove all night, and Zelda remembered being constantly alert in case her mother decided to make good on her threats of ending it all.

“No, my father and sister left when things started to go wrong. And then my mama died. That’s when I met Faustus.”

Donna drove on without comment. 

When they approached the exit for Highway 49 Zelda spoke up.

“I’m sorry this turned out to be such a depressing conversation. Surely you’re rethinking your vice as the designated driver now,” she laughed into the darkness.

Donna placed her hand on Zelda’s arm.

“Listen, we don’t know each other very well, but I feel like life has dealt you a bad hand. And now you can do what you want with it. That’s a big change for you. If you ever want to talk or go get a drink, whatever, you can call me.”

Zelda covered Donna’s hand with her own.

“Thanks, and I have no idea what to do with myself now honestly. I’m not used to thinking about what I want. But you’re sweet.”

Donna removed her hand, patting Zelda on her exposed length of her thigh, leaving its warmth pressed to Zelda’s knee.

“You deserve someone to treat you well, Zelda.”

Zelda wasn’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the thoughts of Lilith that had been burning through her mind lately, but Donna’s closeness and her hand still resting on the inside of her knee were both sending jolts of arousal through her body.

“Umm, I live, it’s just, umm, make a left up here.” Finding herself unable to focus, Zelda almost let Donna drive past her apartment complex.

Donna smirked at her reaction, and moved her hand up higher on Zelda’s inner thigh, moving in small circles, and Zelda’s breath caught in her throat. As she meandered her way through the bleached white buildings, she stopped at the one the redhead pointed out.

Her pinky made its way under the fabric of Zelda’s dress by then, and Zelda’s mind stuttered at the circular stroking of that finger. The alcohol blurred everything, and she felt confused and helplessly wet simultaneously.

She removed her hand, placing the car in park and Zelda felt her eyes on her face. Looking up, Donna’s eyes were even darker in the dim light of the car, but her expression told exactly what she was thinking.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” 

**********

Zelda awoke the next morning to the sound of her ringtone. She reached to turn off her alarm but realized her phone was nowhere to be found.

Stumbling from her bed, head swimming and pounding, she pulled on a robe as she noticed she was also naked. She located her phone in the spilled contents of her bag on the living room floor.

The caller’s ID caused her heart to jump to her throat.

“Hi, Lilith!” she tried to sound cheery as she answered, but her words came out more slowly than normal.

“Hey! How’s everything there in your new place?”

Retrieving a bottle of water from her fridge, Zelda dug out some aspirin from her purse, swallowing it all before she answered.

“It’s good, this place is much nicer than the trailer and everything is brand new. How’s Brina? Have y’all been having fun?”

“Oh, Zelda, my baby girl has grown 2 inches at least. She is so excited about starting school and can already write her name and all her letters. Adam has been taking good care of her.”

Even in her enthusiasm at Brina’s accomplishments, Zelda could hear the tinge of sorrow in Lilith’s voice. Zelda paused as her headache continued to pound and waves of nausea poured over her.

“I know you’re happy to spend time with her. You’ll have to send me a picture of y’all.”

“Sure thing. Hey, didn’t you have that meeting with your husband and his lawyer yesterday? How did that go?”

Swallowing more water, Zelda struggled to talk, feeling sicker by the second.

“It was fine. We signed everything and now the judge just has to approve the settlement. And then I’ll be divorced. Just like that.”

“Then maybe we, I mean you, can move on. Do what you want and only have to worry about yourself.” Lilith’s slip did not go unnoticed by Zelda, and she smiled to herself.

"Moving on sounds like just the thing," the redhead said quietly.

Zelda groaned as she settled back on her couch, holding the water bottle to her head.

“Are you all right?” Lilith asked. “You sound terrible.”

“Yeah,” Zelda tried to brighten her tone. “My lawyer and I went out for a few celebratory drinks last night.”

Silence greeted her from the other end of the phone.

“You’re hungover, aren’t you?” Lilith’s voice grew soft, and she sighed sadly. “Zelda.”

“It’s not that bad. I’ve been sicker,” Zelda made her way to the bathroom, sitting on the floor in case she got sick, her head resting against the cool porcelain of the tub. 

“Take some aspirin and sleep it off. I’ll see you Monday, okay?” Zelda could hear a child’s voice in the background.

“Yes, Monday. Bye.” And the line went dead.

When she felt able, Zelda stood and turned on the bathroom light.

Her reflection startled her, her fuzzy mind clearing.

Turning her head from side to side, she saw several purple marks against the pale skin, and smeared lipstick around her mouth. The night before was hazy, but she knew Donna had come into her apartment. Two wine glasses sat in her sink, and her unmade bed looked slept in on both sides. She spied a business card on the opposite pillow, and picking it up she saw Donna’s name and “Call me” scrawled on the back.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Zelda muttered to herself. “What kind of a person sleeps with their divorce lawyer?”

Pulling off her robe, she turned on the shower full blast, her mind clearing with the strong spray of the water. She didn’t mind that Donna found her attractive, but could not believe it had happened the way that it had. Faustus hadn’t even gotten that far on the first date.

She spent the remainder of the weekend tending to her apartment, making it her own after she returned from Biloxi with her car. Luckily she hadn't seen Donna while she was there. She wasn’t quite ready to deal with her yet.

Returning to her trailer, she loaded up the items she wanted to keep, things she had brought into the marriage. Her car was soon full of family photographs, clothes she’d left behind, and her beloved plants. 

By Sunday afternoon she had managed to take the stark black and white apartment and add some bright shades and colors. Her screened in porch now contained two lounge chairs with a table between them, with plants covering every available space. It was there she spent the last few hours before she returned to work the next day; it would be a long one as they planned to reopen with limited hours the first few days.

She had wanted to call Lilith back, check on her as she drove back. Shame and embarrassment at their last call made her pause each time she picked up her phone to dial. 

_I think Lilith was right, and Hilda as well. Maybe I do have a drinking problem._

Zelda knew that if she had been sober she would never have let what happened with Donna progress so far. Or what happened with Lilith. She would have taken the time to get to know Lilith first, as there was a clear attraction between them at the start. 

As she lay in bed staring at the ceiling she resolved to do better, and maybe seek out some help. Perhaps even ask Lilith for advice. 

Monday morning came much too soon, but Zelda excitedly remembered the re-opening. The store would be running the way it should again, with most of the employees returning as usual.

Taking her navy suit and blouse from its dry cleaning bag, Zelda had forgotten how much she’d missed wearing it, the uniform signifying her importance to the company and reminding her how far she’d come. The last time she had worn it was the day before the hurricane, and her life had been upended since then. But she could depend on the stability of her job and position in the company.

The collar was high enough to hide the marks left behind from her encounter with Donna, and she left her hair down to cover anything else that might be on display.

Getting behind the wheel of her newly repaired car, the paint glossy and sharp, she drove the short distance to the store, the first car to arrive.

Unlocking the back door, she put in her key to turn on the lights, the emergency ones blinking off, and the hum of the air conditioning units kicked on full blast. August was here and with it came the worst heat of summer.

Opening the office door, Zelda spied a colored envelope on her desk. Placing it to the side as she put away her purse and slipped her keys around her wrist using the band attached, she cleared everything off her desk so she could focus on her day.

Satisfied she was ready, she drank the coffee she’d brought from home as she slipped her finger under the seal of the envelope.

The colorful card was adorned with a pineapple and the saying “You’re One Fine-Apple”. She laughed out loud in the empty office, knowing exactly who had left this. Rolling her eyes at the meaning only she would understand, she opened it and read the message.

_Zelda -_

_I saw this and couldn’t leave it on the shelf._

_If that offer still stands to see your new apartment, I’m game._

_XO - L_

She was rereading it and smiling to herself when Bobbie Jo pushed the door open with her elbow, handing Zelda another cup of coffee.

“Thought you might need this today. God knows I will,” she sighed and settled at her desk. “Night stock crew worked last night and everything should be totally up-to-date if you want to go take a look around with me.”

Placing the card in her desk drawer, Zelda stood to follow Bobbie Jo out the door, coffee in hand.

“Thank you for this. I owe you one.” Zelda walked on ahead as Bobbie Jo grabbed their early morning checklist.

Clucking her tongue, Bobbie Jo turned in the direction of the produce department, following her boss. “You don’t owe me nothing. Just be here all this week and don’t let me lose my mind.”

Laughing, the two women made their way around the store as employees began filtering in. The time soon came to open the front doors, and customers came inside, while Zelda stood near the front ensuring everyone was where they should be.

Once things got moving again, all the old routines fell back into place. They were much busier than normal, leaving Zelda and Bobbie Jo to run cash registers when things got really hectic. It was almost two when Zelda allowed herself a break. Grabbing her cigarettes, she waved towards Bobbie Jo, letting her know she’d be back soon.

“Hey, stranger,” a familiar voice greeted her as she opened the door.

“Hey, yourself,” Zelda grinned at the sight of Lilith, propped against the wall, her tight jeans and boots a welcome vision. “How was the rest of your trip?”

Lilith kicked the coffee can over in between the two of them as Zelda lit her cigarette. She dipped down to knock off the ash from her own, and Zelda admired her muscled legs, getting a glance at her tanned skin as her shirt rode up in the back.

“I loved it. It was way too short, but I was so happy to see my Brina. I almost scooped her up and brought her back with me.” Lilith looked off in the distance.

“She’ll be with you again. I know she will.”

Lilith gasped, as if suddenly remembering something.

“She’s going to come visit around Labor Day. Adam is going to put her on a plane and she’ll come for the week.”

“Oh, Lilith, that’s wonderful! You’ll have her all to yourself again. I’m so happy for you.”

“Yeah, I’m really excited for that.”

They both finished their cigarettes and moved to go inside.

“I got your card.” Zelda said as she moved the can back against the wall.

“Did you now?” Lilith looked up at Zelda through her lashes. “And what did you think about that?”

Zelda let her eyes drop to the deep v in the shirt Lilith wore, and looking back into her blue eyes she licked her lips.

“The invitation still stands if you’re willing. Come anytime.”

“How about tonight?”

Zelda’s cheeks heated at Lilith’s clear desire to be alone with her, and she nodded.

“My shift ends at 6, but that usually means I stay around a little longer. Bobbie Jo is closing, so I don’t have to be here for that. How about 7?”

“Put your address in my phone for me,” Lilith opened her device and handed it over. She clicked on the contact Lilith had set up with her name and added her information. As she did, a text notification showed a message coming in from a Billy. Zelda thought she remembered Lilith mentioning being involved with a Billy before, but surely this wasn't the same one.

Rolling her eyes, she handed it back with a loud laugh. 

“You are completely crazy.”

“Who me? What’d I do?” Lilith asked with dramatically wide eyes.

“That picture you have for my contact, I hope no one ever sees it and puts two and two together about the leftover pineapple we accidentally left behind.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, I can delete it if you want.”

Her face burning at the fantasy she played and replayed in her mind, and somewhat touched by Lilith wanting to preserve it, Zelda shook her head.

“No, that’s okay. You can leave it.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Lilith said over her shoulder, glancing back at Zelda’s still pink cheeks. “It’s forever burned into my memory.”

With a sway of her hips she disappeared inside the door, leaving Zelda outside trying to catch her breath.

  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda wrapped her finger around one of the loose curls surrounding Lilith’s face, twisting it round and round, the coarseness of its texture surprising her, and she let it go, watching it fall back to the side of those luminescent blue eyes. Lilith grabbed her fingers before she could pull away and brought them to her mouth, kissing each fingertip before reaching her palm and wrist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank y'all for reading this story. Part 4 is rapidly approaching which is beyond exciting! I still have plenty of ideas left in me for these characters if y'all are still game to read them. :)

_I had to leave town for a little while,_

_You said you'd be good while I'm gone,_

_But the look in your eye dun told me you told a lie,_

_I know there's been some carryin' on._

_-wearin’ that loved on look - elvis presley_

  
  
  


She was just unbuttoning her blouse when she heard the light knocks. Grabbing her robe, she tied it around her waist as she pulled open the door. Zelda hadn’t had much time to get ready, but she supposed Lilith wouldn’t mind.

Lilith stood shyly, hands behind her back, mischief and mirth shining in her eyes. She had changed into some cutoffs and a tank top, trading her customary boots for flip flops, and Zelda noticed her toes were painted a bright pink. Maybe her daughter had given her a pedicure in their time together. 

But it was her hair that held Zelda’s attention. 

She’d foregone her braids and let her natural waves go, hair still damp, corkscrew curls in every direction. The natural beach-born highlights shone in the early evening sun, and Zelda ached to touch it, sink her fingers into its softness, to twist one spiral around her finger only to watch it spring back as she let it go.

“I am clearly overdressed,” Lilith finally spoke, her approval of Zelda’s robe and bare legs evident. “If you’d only told me I could’ve worn my pajamas too.”

“And deprive me of the vision you are tonight? Now why would I have done that.” They shared a laugh as Zelda stepped aside to let Lilith in.

Stopping just inside and taking in the small space that Zelda now called home, Lilith pulled a bouquet from behind her. All bright pinks and fuschias, the roses brought a huge smile to the redhead’s face.

“For you, ma’am. A housewarming present. Do you have a vase?”

Taking the roses from her, Zelda leaned closer and kissed her cheek, not missing the sharp intake of breath from the brunette. 

“Thank you,” she whispered in Lilith’s ear, relishing the shudder she watched course through her body. “Come on in.”

She walked towards the kitchen, Lilith following behind, seating herself on a barstool by the counter that overlooked the sink.

“These are lovely. And pinks are my favorite. Blush and bashful are my signature colors.” Zelda imitated Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias, and Lilith just rolled her eyes.

“Alright then, Shelby,” she joked, then she noticed a picture of Zelda and Hilda on the beach when they were girls after their daddy had buried them in the sand. “Look at how cute y’all are!”

“I was an adorable child, but Hilda was downright angelic. Look at those blonde curls. No one could resist her, least of all my daddy.” Zelda took the picture and set it back on the countertop.

Once the flowers were placed in the center of the table, Lilith declared that she wanted a tour, so Zelda showed her around, their tour ending on the porch, Zelda’s preferred spot. 

Leaving Lilith to admire the many plants and the view of the ocean in the distance, Zelda took a bottle of sparkling water and two glasses outside.

She curled up on the opposite chair after pouring and handing Lilith a glass.

“So what do you think? It’s a nice place, at least for now, and just big enough for me. My sister and her husband could visit too. Plenty of space for them.”

“You made it your own, Zelda. This spot especially. All the plants are so pretty,” Lilith put her lips to her glass, looking at the redhead over the rim. “How are you feeling about everything else that’s been going on?”

Nodding, Zelda set her glass down, stretching her legs out in front of her.

“I thought the store opening went really well today. Of course there were problems, but all in all...it was smooth.”

“Yeah, it was good. Bubba kept Sheryl and me hopping around refilling the freezer section constantly. I thought I’d get frostbite from handling so many gallons of ice cream,” Lilith chuckled, her curls vibrating with her laughter. “But that’s not what I meant. I mean with you, all the stuff you’re going through.”

  
  


“I knew what you meant; it’s just all so much. And you have your own problems. I don’t want you to think I invited you over to listen to me whine about my life.”

Lilith swung her legs over the side of her chair, facing Zelda. 

“I came over because I want to talk with you, to let you know I'm on your side. And whatever you want to share with me is fine, but it’s not ever going to be a burden, I promise you that. Now spill. Was it awful at the meeting with your husband?”

Zelda couldn’t help but smile at the kindness shimmering from Lilith’s genuine eyes, and she reached to take her hand, squeezing it in her own.

“It was pretty terrible, I’ll admit. He said some very hurtful, embarrassing things. But I gave it right back, and, in the end, we both got what we wanted. I have my freedom and he has a little money. Now I’m half considering going back to my maiden name.”

“You should if that’s what you want. What will I be calling you then?”

“Hopefully still Zelda,” she smirked. “But it’ll be Spellman.”

“Zelda Spellman, I like it. It sounds right.”

Squeezing her hand, Zelda suddenly remembered Lilith’s time with her daughter. She sat back, swirling the water in her glass.

“So tell me about Brina! Did she like going to the zoo?”

“Absolutely! She loves the big cats, so we spent time talking to the lions and cheetahs. I forgot what a big imagination she has, she carried on a two-sided conversation with a sleeping jaguar on the other side of a plexiglass window.” They shared a sweet laugh at the thought of the little thing talking to the animal through the enclosure glass. 

“God, I’d missed her so much though. It was so hard to leave her again,” Lilith looked away as tears filled her eyes.

Zelda rubbed her bare arm and gave her time to get herself together. 

“I know you do. Do you have any idea how much longer it will be? Do you have another court date soon?”

Shaking her head, Lilith muttered. “Three more months.” She choked on a sob, and held her hand up to her mouth.

Moving to sit next to her, Zelda rubbed her back, murmuring softly as she finally took her into her arms, trying to soothe away the pain. Lilith laid her head on Zelda’s shoulder, letting herself cry as if she hadn’t in a long time. 

“September will be here before you know it, and she’ll be here for the week. You’ll see, the time will just fly by,” Zelda did her best to offer comfort, and Lilith eventually sat back to wipe her eyes. 

“I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to fall apart like that.” Lilith rubbed her nose, and Zelda moved back inside to get some tissue and, handing it to Lilith, she waited by the door, smoking a cigarette from the pack she kept outside. 

“Don’t be sorry to be yourself in front of me. Not at all.” 

“It’s just so long, and Brina had so many questions. She’s confused and hurt, thinking I just left her and moved here, even though her daddy told her different.”

“Children can’t understand the whys and wherefores of adults. They think of things one-sided, but she’ll come around. Will Adam come to get her here after the week’s up?”

“He will, and I want to have a place of my own so badly when she does come. I do like the look of this place.” Lilith walked in the back door and glanced around. “It’s so open and airy.”

She continued to make her way through the rooms, ending up at the bedroom door.

“You haven’t shown me what’s in here.” She winked at Zelda as she leaned forward to peer inside. “Are you hiding some secret love dungeon?”

“Oh yeah,” Zelda retorted sarcastically. “Amazon is delivering the sex swing next week.”

“Great, I’ll help you install it,” Lilith came right back. “I know how to handle a big drill.”

They both laughed until they fell next to each other on the bed, tears rolling down their faces.

“I do like your place, Zelda,” Lilith said when she finally caught her breath. “You’ve done well for yourself. And now you can be whoever you want, with whoever you want.”

She rolled over onto her stomach, looking down at Zelda, reaching out to stroke the hair away from her face.

Zelda wrapped her finger around one of the loose curls surrounding Lilith’s face, twisting it round and round, the coarseness of its texture surprising her, and she let it go, watching it fall back to the side of those luminescent blue eyes. Lilith grabbed her fingers before she could pull away and brought them to her mouth, kissing each fingertip before reaching her palm and wrist.

Zelda closed her eyes as Lilith’s lips met the pulse point, lingering there gently. As Lilith moved closer, Zelda reached out with her free hand to stroke the soft skin of Lilith’s neck and chest, trailing up and under the straps of her tank top, sliding them down her arm as more of Lilith’s chest was exposed. She pulled Lilith to her and their lips met softly, curiously, lingering just long enough to feel the texture and warmth of the other’s before moving and changing angles. Lilith slid her hand down the nape of Zelda’s neck as she deepened the kiss, the pressure of her lips gradually increasing. A moan escaped the redhead as she parted her lips, and Lilith took full advantage, slipping her tongue inside to taste the cigarettes and the sweetness of Zelda.

Moving away from Zelda’s protesting mouth, Lilith moved to her ear, finding a soft patch of skin behind it. 

“Your skin is so soft,” Lilith murmured. “Like velvet.”

Zelda whimpered as Lilith’s hand squeezed her breast, wrapping her bare leg around Lilith’s smooth calves, her foot moving up and down the toned muscles. The hand moving over the wild curls stilled as Lilith pushed aside the silken fabric of her robe, pinching her nipple through her bra.

“Lilith…” she groaned as she tilted her head, exposing more of her neck to Lilith’s open mouth. 

The brunette suddenly stopped, her fingers on Zelda’s breast stilling and pulling back. Zelda opened her eyes and looked curiously at the brunette.

“I thought you divorced him,” she blurted out.

“I-I did, what do you mean?” Zelda answered in confusion.

“What’s that purple mark on your neck then?” Lilith boldly asked. “If not him, then who?”

Pulling away as she sat up, Zelda put her hand to her neck as if she could make the bruise disappear by touching it. She pulled her robe closed, holding the neckline high.

“I was drinking….” she said quietly. “It was a mistake.”

“Wait, it was your lawyer?” Lilith rolled from the bed to stand in front of Zelda, her voice rising with amazement. “She took you out, you got good and drunk and we both know what comes next when you drink.”

Zelda looked up, crinkling her brows in confusion. 

“What the hell does that mean? You act like every time I drink I can’t control myself.”

Lilith shrugged. “Well, which is it? Was it a mistake or you couldn’t control yourself?” 

At that moment Lilith’s phone pinged, and she took it out of her back pocket. She quickly texted a reply and locked the screen, putting it away.

Moving to stand by the window, Zelda turned back to Lilith, anger lacing her voice.

“It’s not as if you’ve been a saint either. Who is Billy? Was that him texting you now?”

“As a matter of fact that was Sheryl. And what do you know about Billy?”

“I know he texted you earlier,” Zelda remembered Sheryl kidding Lilith about being on the phone all night. “Who is this guy?”

Lilith marched over to stand before Zelda.

“You want to check me for marks too?” she lifted her hair while Zelda huffed and looked away. “Billy is the guy I told you about from when I lived in Tennessee. He was my escape like your husband was for you.”

Wheeling around to face her again, Zelda couldn’t stop the words from leaving her mouth.

“And the guy who got you hooked on heroin, right? The same one who helped you become an addict?”

Narrowing her eyes, Lilith crossed her arms over her chest. She stared straight ahead until Zelda asked one more question.

“Why would you let him back into your life considering all you have to lose?”

Lilith’s response flew from her lips like lightning in a summer storm.

“For the same reason you’d stay married to a man you hated, or go out to a bar with someone you barely know then drunk fuck them, like you did when we were - “

“Don’t you dare say that! Can’t you see it’s not even remotely the same for you and me? And my marriage isn’t what we’re talking about, it’s you putting your daughter’s custody on the line.”

“How is it different for us? You were drunk that night too.”

“That’s not fair. Not fair at all. We were scared, the both of us. You wanted it too. And I don’t regret it. I wanted it; I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.”

“You love your vodka more. At least Billy has gotten clean. For two years now. I can trust him. You can't even make it a week.”

“And you have no right to judge me while you’re taking up with a man who’s filling you full of false hope. Take it from me because I know from experience, tigers don’t change their stripes. He’ll just pull you down with him.”

Lilith was already walking towards the door, breathing heavily, jaw set in anger. She swung the door open so hard it slammed into the wall before turning to Zelda one more time. “And at least when Billy kisses me, I don’t have to hide it with makeup the next day. I know I’m not perfect, but I’m not ashamed of him or who I am.” She walked out and closed the door, the resulting silence almost deafening.

The rage coursing through Zelda caused her to want to throw something, kick the wall, to punish herself. Heading for the freezer, she was furious to find it empty of her favorite poison. Spying Lilith’s flowers out of the corner of her eye, she grabbed the vase with all the force she could muster and threw it on the floor, the broken pieces of glass and roses mixing in a pile. She stepped over it and went to bed, spending another night staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep in her anger.

Her whole body screamed for a drink. Her brain wanted a reprieve from the unrelenting feelings, her muscles ached from holding herself too tightly, and her heart, well, her heart wanted to forget. She finally settled for pacing, berating herself again and again for letting her dependence on alcohol get this far.

As she prepared for work the next day, sipping her coffee after sweeping the remains of the petals and shards of glass, she found herself opening her laptop and searching for a local AA meeting. Not that she’d attend, but Zelda always found knowledge to be reassuring. Knowing it was out there, knowing she _could_ attend might be enough.

One thing she felt completely sure of was she couldn’t keep going in the same direction she was currently travelling. 

Getting out of one toxic relationship set her on a new course, but Faustus didn’t cause her to drink. That had been her choice. It dulled the pain, shoved everything she should deal with into the background. But her demons were always there waiting when sobered up, as Lilith had told her.

_And Lilith…._

Everything became clear when Lilith appeared, the sun seemed to shine a bit warmer, Zelda laughed more than she ever had. And, she realized, most of it had been when she was sober. 

_Lilith was not a reason to change_ , Zelda reasoned. _But I am._

Not sure how she’d face the woman when she saw her at work, knowing it would be difficult, Zelda dressed, putting on a navy sleeveless dress, a thin leopard print belt at the waist, wearing a higher heel than normal. 

Brushing her hair until it shone, the loose waves falling down her back, she applied a dark crimson lipstick, giving her pale skin a luminous quality.

Spotting Sheryl pulling into the lot as she parked her car, she slowed her steps to allow Sheryl to catch up, giving Zelda a cheery good morning before she started to walk away.

“Sheryl, do you have a second?” The other woman turned back and fell into step beside her boss.

“Yes, ma’am?” Zelda realized Sheryl could know all there was to know about what had gone on between Lilith and her which left her feeling exposed and embarrassed, but she felt like she had nowhere else to turn. 

“I don’t want to take this conversation inside the building, so can we?” Indicating the picnic tables off to the side of the entrance, Zelda placed her bag on top of one and sat down, crossing her legs, and waiting for Sheryl to sit down.

“We don’t know much about each other seeing as how you’re new here. How do you find our store?”

Sheryl stared at her intently for a moment. “It’s nice here, and I live between Biloxi and Gulfport, so it’s convenient.”

“You’ve done good work for us. And Lilith seems to get along well enough with you.”

Sheryl cleared her throat at the mention of Lilith. “I’m sorry to be blunt,” she interjected. “You didn’t sit me down in this heat to share pleasantries. Is this about Lilith? I can tell she respects you a lot. But I can’t talk to you about her, that would be a violation of her trust.”

“No, oh no,” Zelda scrunched her brow. “I would never pry into her life like that. She mentioned to me that you were her sponsor, am I right?”

“I am that. We were brought together before she moved here. If she told you that, she must value you and your trust immensely because, whether you know it or not, she holds everything pretty close to the vest.”

Zelda hummed in response. Lilith had shared quite a bit in their few conversations, so maybe what Sheryl was saying about the trust Lilith had in Zelda was true. Until last night.

“I don’t know how to ask this,” she hesitated, brushing nonexistent lint off her dress. “How do you go about attending a meeting? Where do you begin?”

“A meeting?” Sheryl looked at her quizzically, then Zelda watched as her features shifted into a realization. It seemed Lilith had shared something about her, and however anonymous she had been to Sheryl she was now outed. The woman’s brows raised imperceptibly as she let her eyes drift over Zelda. 

“You’re going to make me say it.” Zelda huffed. “Okay, alright, I have a drinking problem, I have for sometime, and I’m ready to get some help.”

Sheryl’s smile was genuine. “That’s the hardest part, you know. Figuring out you have a problem.”

“Yeah, it’s a long time coming. I saw online there are meetings daily at a church nearby. I thought I might try it. Maybe. I don’t know,” she looked away as her voice trailed off.

“Would you like me to go with you? I know the ropes and the expectations.”

Blinking back tears at Sheryl’s unexpected kindness, Zelda nodded her head slowly.

“Why would you do that for me? I only asked you because I knew you’d know how to get started.”

Sheryl laughed under her breath, looking at the workers still filing in the back door.

“Whether you know it or not, you mean the world to Lilith. Not to divulge our conversations, but when she mentions you, even without saying your name, her whole face brightens. Anyone who can make her feel that way is worth the effort to me.”

“Well, I don’t know that I deserve that high praise, but I appreciate it.” Zelda pulled out her phone to check the time for the meeting. “It says the start time is noon, so when should we plan to go?”

“Since it’s close by, why not leave a few minutes earlier, say 11:45?”

“We can meet by my car then. And thank you, Sheryl. You’re a lifesaver.”

They parted, Zelda going to her office, and Sheryl headed out to the sales floor. The redhead wondered what she might tell Lilith about their talk, if she would say anything at all. Just this one meeting and she wouldn’t need Sheryl anymore. She could figure the rest out herself.

Conference calls to Arkansas and a regional conversation with an executive of marketing from Coca-Cola took up most of her morning, and it was 11:15 when she made it out to walk around the store the first time.

Mid-morning on a Tuesday wasn’t their busiest time, so she was able to catch up with a few employees she hadn’t spoken to since before the hurricane. She was just crossing into frozen foods when she glanced at the slim watch on her arm. Sheryl was stocking iced vegetables, and she smiled as she saw Zelda approach.

“Ready to go?” Zelda asked.

“Give me five minutes to finish this and wash my hands. Meet you by the exit?” 

Nodding, Zelda turned on her heel to walk away, and nearly ran into Lilith pulling a cart and not watching where she was going.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said as she turned around. Her face lit up briefly when she saw Zelda, but a sadness settled over her eyes and she clenched her jaw.

“Hello, Mrs. - , what was it again?” Her tone was just skating the edge of rudeness. 

Raising her brows in surprise, then lowering them as she cocked her head, Zelda pointed to her nametag.

“We’re not playing that game. I’m still me and you’re still you, and whatever has gone on between us, we need to be professional about it here at work.” Zelda tried to keep her voice low and calm, but the butterflies in her stomach were making that difficult. She didn’t know how to react to this tension between them.

“Yes, ma’am.” Lilith gave her a mock salute. “Whatever you say.”

Anger pushed the nerves she felt to the side, and Zelda bit back a retort, thinking of Sheryl waiting for her. She strode away, glancing back to see Lilith watching her.

Sheryl was standing by the back door as Zelda arrived, and they made their way to Zelda’s car. The meeting was held in a large Sunday School room of a local Methodist church, and Zelda examined the positive affirmation posters taped to the walls as they waited. _One Day at a Time, We Can Do Hard Things._ She felt vaguely as if she’d stepped into one of their motivational sales gatherings for all the managers in her area. But the atmosphere was different; some people were sitting in the small circle of folding chairs, waiting for the meeting to begin. Some were standing by the coffee carafe, sipping the brew Sheryl had warned her away from with a firm “Don’t ever drink the coffee”. Everyone seemed relaxed and at ease, and Zelda sat back in her chair, sighing and giving Sheryl a small smile.

“Thank you again for coming with me, I’m not sure I would have gone through with it if you hadn’t,” Zelda whispered.

“That’s the beauty of the program. We are accountable to each other,” Sheryl started to say more, but the leader spoke up to begin.

He ran through the formalities used to run the meetings, saying that no questions or rejoinders were allowed after comments were made, reassuring Zelda that she could speak her mind in a free space, as Sheryl had told her.

“My name is Tom and I’m an alcoholic.” 

“Hi, Tom.” Everyone responded, and Zelda watched everyone else out of the corners of her eyes. No one stared at her or seemed to mind that she was new. They all listened raptly as the speaker told of his week and the struggles he’d had.

A woman who looked to be about Lilith’s age spoke of her triumphs with resisting going out with her friends and drinking, opting to get involved with a volunteer group for rescued animals.

The stories continued around the circle until she was the only who hadn’t shared. By that point she felt relaxed enough to speak, so when the time came she looked down at her clasped hands in her lap.

“Hey, my name is Zelda and I’m an alcoholic.” She let out a breath. “I’ve never said that before, never been able to admit it.”

“Would you like to share anything else, Zelda?” Tom said after a pause.

She shook her head quickly, still looking down.

“You’ve done the hard part now in admitting it,” he said quietly. Sheryl patted her arm lightly and she looked up into her sympathetic eyes.

After giving out coins for sobriety, the meeting broke up. Tom stopped Zelda as she started to walk towards the door.

“Thank you for coming today, Zelda. We meet three times a week at this same time, and then twice a week in the evenings.”

He handed her some literature covering the 12-step plan, and she shook his hand, thanking him and then turning to go.

In the car, Zelda lit a cigarette, the magnitude of what she’d just done catching up to her.

“Guess there’s no going back once you say you’re an alcoholic,” she sardonically said after taking a deep drag.

“No, you can only look forward now. To your recovery, to your future, to life with the possibility of whatever alcohol meant to you hopefully being replaced by a healthy coping mechanism.”

“Yes, I’m certainly going to try. So how does this sponsor thing work?”

“Well, you have to get to know the people in your group before you can choose someone to share in your journey. Give it a few meetings and you can usually tell who you click with. For Lilith and me, I am a friend of someone she became close to in her hospital recovery program and I’d met her when I visited. NA is a little different than AA, but the premise is the same.”

“NA?” Zelda tapped her cigarette out the window as she pulled into the Walmart parking lot. “Narcotics Anonymous?”

“Yes, that’s what I normally attend.”

“So you’ve gone through the same thing then? Recovery and all.”

“I have. Maybe we can talk about it one day,” Sheryl opened the car door, peering down at the employee smoking area and finding Lilith’s eyes on her.

“I’d like that, Sheryl. Thank you again for giving up your lunch time for me.”

“Any friend of Lilith’s….” she started as she walked towards the covered picnic tables. 

**********

The week passed by quickly, and Zelda attended two more meetings. She didn’t share any of her story because she felt she’d stumble over her words or cry and make a fool of herself. But the gatherings reminded her she wasn’t alone. No connection was made yet with a sponsor, but Zelda felt a camaraderie with the small group, and she expected to find someone soon.

Returning to her apartment after a grueling day Saturday, Zelda ran herself a bath and sunk into the water, letting its warmth soothe her tense body.

Lilith had successfully avoided her after their run-in Tuesday, and Zelda gave her the space it seemed she needed. They would need to eventually have a conversation, but the brunette still appeared to be angry even when Zelda saw her from a distance.

So it was a bit of a surprise when Zelda was propped up against the pillows of her bed, reading a biography she’d picked up, to hear her phone ring. The caller was Lilith.

“Hello?” Zelda answered quickly.

“Zelda…” The voice on the other end seemed far away, hollow. “Zelda, can you help me?”

Sitting straight up, Zelda’s heart began to pound. Sounding nothing like herself, Lilith seemed to be terrified.

“Lilith, what’s wrong? Where are you?”

“I don’t - I don’t k--kknow.” Her voice drew down to a whisper. “He hit me.”

Zelda was out of the bed and pulling on her clothes, frantically looking for her car keys and purse.

“Can you share your location with me, Lilith?” Zelda’s panic shook her voice as silence met her from the other end of the call.

“Shh, he’ll hear us. I’m gonna turn on my location and share it.”

Zelda’s phone pinged, and she pressed the attached map as she got behind the wheel of her car. Reaching in the console between the seats, she removed the handgun she kept there for emergencies, thinking this might be one of those times.

“Lilith, are you still there?”

A whispered voice came back to her before she heard a shout and the line went dead.

“Hurry, Zelda.”

  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She returned to her own bed, noticing that it was almost 4. Luckily she was off the next day, and she’d be calling out for Lilith too. Taking care of Lilith wasn’t a problem, she was far more used to it than she cared to think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We done turned a corner here, ladies. 
> 
> Warnings: mention of domestic violence and drug use

_it's like a storm_

_that cuts a path_

_it breaks your will_

_it feels like that_

_you think you're lost_

_but you're not lost on your own_

_you're not alone_

_\- i won't let go - Rascal Flatts_

Driving frantically out of the parking lot, Zelda listened carefully to the directions as her phone spouted them off. When she merged onto Interstate 10 she had a straight stretch of road ahead of her and about 20 minutes to come up with some idea of what she’d do when she arrived at the motel Lilith had called from.

Not having any clue what she was getting herself into, Zelda knew having a gun would be to her advantage. She could handle the weapon, Faustus had seen to that. The ridiculous pink champagne Glock had been a Christmas present early in their marriage, and he had taken her shooting every weekend, proudly examining her paper targets and bragging about her accuracy as if he’d taught her. It was her daddy who had taught her to shoot a rifle, taking her into the woods each fall to sit beside him in his deer stand. But it had been ages since she’d been to the firing range, and she had never been in a situation where she needed to fire on another human being.

Her hands shook on the steering wheel, and she wished for a fleeting moment she hadn’t picked up the phone. For Lilith to have called Zelda meant something; she must have been desperate. Sheryl should have been on the receiving end of that call, but Lilith had enough sense about her to know that she would probably lose her temporary home if Sheryl had to rescue her from this man. Her sponsor firmly believed in helping her, but she had to keep her own family safe as well. Lilith could have called the sheriff’s department, and the fact she didn’t call them indicated she was involved in something illegal too. But she said he hit her. _He hit her._ The “he” had to be Billy, and Zelda felt a simmering rage at what was going to greet her.

Her phone indicated she should exit in two miles, and her heart began to pound again as it had when she heard Lilith’s voice. Another disturbing thought entered her mind now - what if Lilith refused to leave with her? Would she drag her out if she had to? What if Billy fought her?

A text came through from Lilith giving her the room number at the motel, also serving to give her the assurance she did want the help, and was clear headed enough to know Zelda was coming.

The parking lot of the Diamondhead Inn was quiet as she pulled in, killing the headlights on her car when she stopped in front of the door of room 134. Zelda sat in the car, rubbing her hands over her face and trying to see through the crack in the curtains, looking for life inside the room.

She saw movement, a flash that dimmed the light inside briefly, followed by shouting and what sounded like pounding on a door.

Opening her car door, she grabbed the Glock and took a deep breath.

She approached quietly and could hear the shouting more clearly.

“Open that damn door! You’ve been in there for hours. I told you I was sorry, but you always make me do things like----”

Tapping on the door with the magazine of the gun, she called out. “This is the manager. We’ve had complaints about the noise.”

Listening closely, she could hear footsteps across the floor and the door opened a few inches, the chain keeping her from being able to push it open further.

“I don’t give a ---” A tall man with tousled brown curls scowled at her until she lifted the gun from her side.

“Open the door,” she said quietly, knowing she was taking a giant risk. He could be armed as well. “Stand where I can see you and put your hands up.”

“Okay, okay, I don’t want no trouble.” He backed away and she couldn’t see anything hidden he could suddenly grab to use as a weapon. She pointed the gun at him, the words of her daddy echoing through her mind. _Never, ever point a gun at something you don’t intend to shoot._ She _would_ shoot him if need be.

Keeping the gun trained on him, she called out. “Lilith, I’m here. Come out and we can leave.”

The handle to the bathroom door jiggled and Lilith emerged, looking very different from when Zelda last saw her. A purple bruise covered her cheek, her lip was split, and blood splattered her white tee shirt. Her eyes were wild and darting all around, finally fixing on the man.

“Who is this, Lilith? Did you call this woman?” 

“Nevermind who I am. I just want to take her and we’ll leave.” Zelda reached out her hand for Lilith, her green eyes still watching the man.

Lilith stood in the doorway, confused now.

“Who sent you? Why are you here?” Her voice had a whiny quality, like a child caught out misbehaving. 

Not sure exactly how to respond, she held her arm steady, catching the sneer on the man’s face when Lilith hesitated.

“Don’t you want to go home?” Zelda looked at her long enough to take in the matted hair, scratched welts on her arms, and the rapidly darkening eye.

She hesitated, her face pivoting between his menacing gaze and Zelda’s bright fearful eyes.

Then Lilith moved, taking Zelda’s hand and in the split second it took for Zelda to pull her closer, he lunged for her. Aiming for the floor beside him, Zelda fired off a warning shot.

“Billy, no!” Lilith screamed. “Don’t shoot him!”

Jumping back and away from Zelda and Lilith, he put his hands up again.

“You can have the bitch! She ain’t worth gettin’ shot over!” 

They made it out the door, and Zelda saw a small group had emerged from their rooms at the sound of the gunshot.

“Hurry, Lilith, the manager will have called the sheriff. Get in the car.”

Silently Lilith crawled into the front seat, curling into a ball immediately, her bare feet on the seat, knees drawn up to her chin.

Zelda started the car, glancing up at the window to see Billy staring ominously at the two of them. She put the car in reverse and sped off, relieved to not hear any sirens.

They rode in silence, Zelda’s eyes constantly in the rearview mirror, anxiously expecting to find the state patrol behind her. But the dark road was quiet as they drove east to Gulfport.

Every once in a while Zelda would look over at Lilith, her eyes still wide and staring straight ahead, seeming to be unaware of her surroundings. She reached out a gentle hand, pushing the hair back from Lilith’s face. The purple bruise looked ugly in the stop and start of the highway lights, and Zelda stroked Lilith’s arm with her fingertips.

When they reached Zelda’s apartment, Lilith finally registered where they were. It was after 2 am, and the insects flying around the lights were the only sounds.

“Take me home,” she said in a low voice. 

Zelda shook her head. “No, it's late. You can stay here tonight.”

Sighing in resignation, Lilith’s slumped shoulders showing her exhaustion, she walked on ahead to Zelda’s door. “I just want to go home.” 

Not taking no for an answer, Zelda unlocked the door and deadbolted it behind them, slipping the chain in place as well.

They stood staring at one another, both of them unsure of the other.

“Would you like to take a bath? I can start the water,” Zelda was shocked at Lilith’s unkempt appearance, aside from her injuries. Her clothes were filthy and tear streaks had dried her mascara on her face.

“I guess so.” Lilith followed her to the bathroom and stood by while Zelda turned on the taps. She tested the water then laid out a towel and turned to go. 

A moan left Lilith as she lifted her arms, and it Zelda stopped in the doorway, yawning as she felt the day catching up with her.

“Can you...will you just sit there?” Lilith pointed to the space by the sink while she began to remove her clothes. “Don’t leave me alone.”

Zelda hopped onto the counter, holding back from asking the questions pouring through her mind.

“The quiet’s too quiet now. Can’t you hear it too?” Lilith’s voice went song songy, and it occurred to Zelda that beyond her odd, jumpy behavior there was much more going on. Billy had given her something.

When she pulled her tee over her head, Zelda saw more bruising on her ribs and stomach. She held back the pitiful sound that wanted to escape her throat, the heartbreak she felt for Lilith.

Zelda took her clothes and laid them beside her, studying the discolorations on her skin. The redhead reached out and traced the bruises on her ribs lightly while Lilith winced and stepped away.

“Does it hurt to breathe?” she asked.

“No, nothin’s broken.” Lilith gingerly stepped into the tub, sinking into the hot water with a hiss.

She laid back, closing her eyes as she propped her head against the side of the tub. Lilith had seemed like a force of nature, something beautifully formed, capturing everyone’s attention when she entered a room, but now Zelda couldn’t help but think how tiny she was, how fragile she looked. 

Taking a washcloth, Zelda soaked it in warm water and knelt next to the tub. Lilith opened her eyes as Zelda gently stroked her lip, wiping away the blood. Her eyes still had that faraway look as if she didn’t quite know where she was. When Zelda lifted her hand to the purplish bruise on her cheek, Lilith grabbed her wrist, taking the cloth and cleaning it herself. 

“You don’t hafta do that.”

“I know I don’t.” Zelda sat back and rested her elbows on the side of the tub. “But I’d like to, if you’ll let me.”

“Okay.” Lilith seemed to be fading fast.

Handing her back the cloth, Lilith allowed Zelda to wipe away the blackened streaks that tracked from her eyes, leaning forward after she finished as Zelda gently stroked the contours of her back, her muscles jerking when she hit a sensitive spot.

Zelda hummed a song she remembered helping her mama relax when she’d had the worst of her headaches as she was trying to recover from a bender. Lilith relaxed, her body going slack while Zelda took care of her. 

Placing a finger under her chin, Zelda lifted Lilith’s face to make her look her in the eye. Her eyelids so heavy, but Zelda noticed her pupils were like a pinprick, the light blue jarringly huge. Her breathing seemed normal though, so Zelda didn’t feel like she should call an ambulance. She rubbed at the leftover stubborn eye makeup, her fingers gently caressing the skin at Lilith’s jawline.

“Did he….did you….did you take something?” She wanted to know if she should be more concerned, and Lilith nodded. 

“He got real mad when I said I didn’t want to, and I don’t like him when he’s mad.” Lilith sounded so childlike and strange.

Zelda couldn’t help the angry sigh she let out. Of all the stupid choices. She wanted to scream, to shake Lilith, to scare her sober with some story of losing her daughter. But she knew from experience that trying to talk sense to someone high was a lost cause. Tomorrow though, tomorrow she could say what she thought and Lilith would have to hear it.

“I’m tired, Zelda.” Lilith folded her mouth into a pout, wincing as she bit down on her cut lip. “Are we going to sleep?”

Zelda stood to get her some fresh clothes.

“You can sleep all you want. I’ll make you a bed on my couch, and that’s all you have to do. And when you wake up you’ll feel better.” 

Lilith nodded, stepping out of the tub and drying herself.

“I think I should put something on your injuries. You’ll be sore tomorrow if we don’t.” She retrieved some ointment from her bathroom cabinet and squeezed some onto her fingers, lightly rubbing on the tender skin. Lilith jerked away from her touch, sighing softly and grabbing Zelda’s arm. Zelda smiled wanly, remembering how ticklish she was. 

Zelda handed her a Hard Rock casino tee shirt and some shorts, and she watched as Lilith slipped them on, the abrasions and cuts covered. 

Helping her make the couch into a bed, Zelda handed Lilith an extra pillow after she slid it into a case. Lilith curled under the blanket, turning towards Zelda as she closed her eyes.

“I hope you’re comfortable. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you. You’re a good friend,” Lilith’s words ran together as she drifted off.

Zelda watched as Lilith’s breathing evened out having fallen to sleep almost immediately.

  
  


She returned to her own bed, noticing that it was almost 4. Luckily she was off the next day, and she’d be calling out for Lilith too. Taking care of Lilith wasn’t a problem, she was far more used to it than she cared to think about. 

Rolling over, she faced away from the woman on the couch, watching the lights around the complex flicker off and on with their timer cycle. She had never mentioned it to Lilith, but she understood the draw to heroin. More than alcohol, the peaceful bliss that accompanied a high like that wasn’t something she was unfamiliar with, having tried it at a party once with Faustus. She had immediately gotten sick to her stomach, and she’d experienced a nausea she'd never forget. Because of that she had never done it again.

_It was Billy, he’d done it to her…._ Zelda blamed him for forcing Lilith to take it with him, and had hurt her when she wouldn’t. But why was she there? 

Unable to keep her eyes open, and satisfied Lilith was safely under her roof, Zelda dozed off. 

**********

She awoke much later, the sun high in the sky. Tiptoeing by the couch, a glance showed that Lilith still slept, her purple cheek pressed into the pillow. Zelda brushed a loose lock of hair behind her ear, the curls slipping through her fingers.

A breeze blew through the porch as she opened the door, taking the coffee she’d made and curling up on a lounge chair with the biography she’d been reading the night before.

Getting lost in its pages, she hadn’t heard Lilith stir, and gasped when she slid the door open with her own cup of coffee.

“Hope you don’t mind. I know it’s way past breakfast but I can never resist coffee.” Lilith lifted her cup and took a sip, sitting in the opposite chair.

“No, not at all. I made a whole pot. I drink it all day long sometimes,” Zelda turned her head to look more closely at Lilith’s face. “How’s your cheek today?”

“Christ, it hurts, but my lip’s okay. I don’t think I’ll be winning any beauty contests any time soon though.”

Laughing under her breath, Zelda felt relieved Lilith seemed to be back to her old self.

“Were you scheduled to work today? I’m off and I thought maybe you needed a break too.” Zelda wanted to spend more time with Lilith, to talk with her, to ask all the questions that were burning in her mind.

“I can call Sheryl and get her to cover for me. She’s probably needing to know where I am anyway. I’ll tell her I have the boss’s approval to be lazy today.”

Zelda took their cups back inside and straightened up, putting everything back in its place. She folded the sheets and blankets Lilith had used, fluffing and arranging the pillows neatly.

She went to take Lilith’s now clean clothes out of the dryer and laid them across the back of the couch.

“Thank you for doing all this, Zelda,” Lilith took her clothes and began to change. “You were truly a lifesaver.”

“You needed me. That’s what you do for someone you, uh, for a friend,” Zelda stuttered, embarrassed at how her feelings rose so easily to the surface.

“Sure, yeah. I knew Sheryl would be furious, that she would never let me hear the end of it if I called her.”

Zelda held her tongue, wanting to blurt out that Sheryl would have every right to be angry, and as her sponsor she had the responsibility to care, but she settled on just nodding in agreement.

“Your bruises look better this morning,” The dark marks were on display in the bright light of day as Lilith pulled on her clean shirt, the blues and greens of healing showing what had gone on the night before.

“Uh, um, yeah. You really saw Billy in his worst possible light too.”

Zelda scoffed at that. “That’s putting it lightly.”

“I guess it is, isn’t it?” She slid her feet into a pair of sneakers Zelda offered her as the redhead went into the bedroom to change. 

“Will you see him again?” Zelda asked as she pulled on some shorts.

Lilith looked at her strangely.

She finally shrugged, her answer seemingly mired in her own confusion about the whole situation.

“No, I don’t want to. But when he shows up again, and he will, it’s really hard not to see him. He has this way of bending my words, turning everything around, and making it all seem okay until it blows up in my face.”

Zelda sat on the bed as Lilith talked, understanding what she was saying, feeling like those words had come out of her own mouth years ago. 

“So, don’t then. Don’t see him. When he texts don’t answer,” Zelda said firmly.

“As if it's that easy. Don’t you think I want it to be that way? This time I thought I’d be able to resist, that I’d be able to say no. He knows every button to push. It starts out kind and sweet, he treats me well, never pushes me into anything. But it always ends up the same way,” Lilith sounded completely defeated.

The redhead nodded, “Yes, I know what you’re saying, but you have more to lose here.”

“As you keep reminding me…” Lilith was becoming annoyed now.

“Because it’s true! You said yourself there was another custody meeting coming up and --”

“Zelda, I know.” Lilith shut down the conversation with that.

Lilith looked around for anything she’d left behind, and pulled out her phone.

“I’m going to get an Uber to take me to Sheryl’s. I’m really sorry I got you involved in all this.”

“No, don’t do that. I can drive you over there.” Zelda wasn’t ready to let her go yet, wasn’t ready to let the moment pass by again. 

“Can we call a truce for now about all this then? I need a shower and I’m still exhausted,” Lilith leaned against the doorframe as Zelda brushed her hair.

“I can do that, but please come back. Please talk to me. I want to be here for you,” Zelda looked into her eyes pleadingly.

“Of course you’re here for me. And I’ll come back. Hell, if Sheryl is mad enough I may have to sleep on your couch again,” Lilith laughed at her own joke, but Zelda knew that was a distinct possibility.

“Whatever you need,” she gently reminded her.

“What I need is to go to a meeting and see Sheryl. I-I really screwed up.”

“She’ll forgive you. I know she will,” Zelda said as they descended the stairs to her car. “And I want to tell you something too. I went to an AA meeting this week.”

“Zelda!!!” Lilith turned to her, pulling her into a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

Returning her embrace, Zelda pulled back after a moment, wiping her eyes.

“I’m trying, Lilith. I’m really trying.”

Looking into her sky blue eyes, Zelda was taken off guard when Lilith took her face in her hands. As she leaned in, Zelda wrapped her arms around Lilith’s waist and their lips met softly.

“You deserve a reward,” she smugly drawled. “And I’m here for you too, Zelda. Whatever I can do for you, I will.”

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A recap:  
> “I did something last night that sounds completely foolish now in the light of day. A, um, friend called me around 2 am, needing me to come pick her from a motel in Diamondhead. She’d gotten herself in pretty deep, and, long story short, I ended up holding a gun on the guy she was with until we could get away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all of you that have continued to read and comment on this little story that I meant to be a one-shot. Y'all are the best!

_Don't be afraid to fall_

_I'm right here to catch you_

_I won't let you down_

_It won't get you down_

_You're gonna make it_

_Yeah I know you can make it_

_-i won’t let go - rascal flatts_

  
  
  
  


After dropping Lilith off, Zelda decided the best thing she could do for herself was go to a meeting. She had not let Lilith see how overwrought she felt after taking her from that motel, from the clutches of Billy who meant both of them harm. But it was all catching up to her, and feeling all of the emotions attached to it made her want to go sit in a bar and drink til she could forget it. 

The look in Billy’s eyes as he stared at her through the curtain wouldn’t leave her mind. Her concealed weapon permit allowed her to carry her gun in her purse, and although she knew Walmart wouldn’t be too happy about it, she placed the gun in her bag now. 

The meeting was just starting as she slipped into a seat. Everyone around her smiled in greeting, and she finally relaxed, knowing she could share her pride at not having taken a drink after the events of the evening.

She knew the routine by heart by now, so when it came time to share, she cleared her throat and dived in, still nervous at the thought of giving away personal details. 

“Hey, I’m Zelda and I’m an alcoholic.” Her voice still shook to define herself so narrowly, to put herself in the same box where her memories of her mother still existed. 

“Hi, Zelda.” The choral response never failed to make Zelda feel seen and heard.

“I did something last night that sounds completely foolish now in the light of day. A, um, friend called me around 2 am, needing me to come pick her from a motel in Diamondhead. She’d gotten herself in pretty deep, and, long story short, I ended up holding a gun on the guy she was with until we could get away.”

She heard a gasp or two from the group, but everyone kept their faces neutral. Tom took advantage of the pause to ask if she was all right.

_Am I all right?_ Her own thoughts careened through her, from the violent, angry man Lilith faced down, how he looked at her like he was memorizing her face and the make of her car, to Lilith in her tub, broken and confused about where she was.

Zelda closed her eyes, still fighting the emotions from her experience. She put a hand to her mouth as a sob escaped her, her face now crushed in pain and fear. Tears flowed out of her eyes, her whole body shaking as she gasped for breath. Mary Grace, a kindly older woman with bobbed grey hair patted Zelda on the back as she fought to get control of herself. _Stop, stop, stop. It does no good to cry. You’re not weak like this._ She swallowed her tears, and forced herself to breathe normally.

Another person shared after the ensuing silence, and Zelda sat back still sniffling after retrieving some tissues. 

Mary Grace spoke up, her even voice soothing to Zelda’s ears.

“Hi, I’m Mary Grace and I’m an alcoholic.” She gently smiled, clasping her wrinkled hands in her lap.

“Y’all probably have heard this all a hundred times, but I don’t mind sharin’ it again, maybe it’ll mean something to the young folks that have joined us lately.” As she paused, looking out at the circle around her, she stopped to look into Zelda’s still watery eyes.

“My husband John and I were what you’d call social drinkers. He owned a little drugstore in downtown Biloxi; we were members of the Biloxi Country Club, and we were pretty successful by all accounts. He bought us a nice house in a gated community; we were invited to fancy parties where the pharmaceutical reps wined and dined us. I thought we had it all.”

She ran her hands over her cheeks, staring up at the ceiling before she could continue. 

The older woman went on to tell of how her husband had gotten caught defrauding the government and had gone to prison, how she had felt so lost when he hadn’t trusted her enough to share his troubles, but had dragged her down with him.

She sighed, rubbing her hands together as Zelda looked on, thinking she had told the worst of it. But Mary Grace wasn’t finished.

“If only I had stopped him, not given him such free rein to do whatever he was doin’. But I didn’t. I stood by like a good little wife and kept my mouth shut. Til everything was gone. I was homeless, my friends deserted me, my children were ashamed, but I had one thing that never let me down - bourbon. I found a little place off the interstate and drank myself senseless night after night. I was a nurse then, and I could barely drag myself to work each day, but I managed. Until Tom here crossed my path. He convinced me to come to a meeting and I’ve never looked back.”

Zelda reached out a hand in support of the older woman, and she grasped it, a look of concern crossing her face.

The meeting adjourned not long after that, and Zelda turned to Mary Grace, thanking her for sharing. 

“Young lady, after you shared about what you did for your friend, I felt like it was time to share.” She scooped up her purse from the floor, looking at Zelda’s flustered face. “Would you like to go get a coffee again?”

They had gone across the street to the Denny’s and sat in a booth drinking coffee for a few hours after the last meeting. Zelda felt comfortable talking to Mary Grace and had been thinking to ask her about being her sponsor.

“Sure,” Zelda brightened at the invitation. “Denny’s again?”

“How about we go to my house? It’s quiet and you seem like you want to talk.”

Nodding in agreement, Zelda said she’d follow Mary Grace to her house.

After driving for about 20 minutes, they turned into an older neighborhood. Mary Grace’s house was a small white clapboard with teal bahama shutters surrounded by a multitude of flowers and ivy. 

“Your yard is so nice. I miss my flowerbeds and window boxes,” Zelda declared as she got out of her car.

“You can’t keep flowers where you live? I’d be lost without my little garden.”

Walking over to a bed filled with zinnias, gerbera daisies, and geraniums, Zelda admired the blend of colors Mary Grace had carefully chosen, each flower complementing the others in size and shade.

“I just moved into a new apartment. I brought some of my plants from my trailer, but it’s a pretty small space. My husband cleared out space for me around the skirting and I always had something growing.”

“Did the storm damage your trailer? I had limbs down everywhere but we escaped the worst of it.” Mary Grace began to walk towards the carport. “Let’s go in, honey, and you can tell me about it there. It’s too hot for outside conversation and the mosquitoes are about to carry me away.”

Zelda accompanied the woman, her hand on her back in case she stumbled.

“Our trailer only took minor damage. And we’re selling it now that it’s repaired.” Zelda was unsure why she wasn’t telling the other woman she’d left Faustus. _Another day, another conversation._

She stood behind the older woman as she unlocked the door, opening into a large, airy room. Wicker couches and chairs were comfortably arranged, and the floor to ceiling windows opened into a backyard with a pool and careful landscaping. Mary Grace had gone into the kitchen to get their coffee, and Zelda settled herself in one of the chairs facing the windows. 

“That’s always my favorite chair as I watch the birds in the morning. I knew you’d pick the best seat in the house. You seem like someone who sees what you want and goes after it,” Mary Grace handed Zelda a steaming mug. “Black with lots of sugar, right?”

“Yes, ma’am, thank you,” Zelda held the mug between her hands, suddenly nervous about sitting with Mary Grace, afraid the woman would judge her now that they were alone. “Do I really seem that way to you? You know, decisive?”

“Well, certainly. You up and got in your car when your friend called you, then went in guns blazing. You didn’t seem like you considered the danger you were in until you were sharing with us a while ago. It kinda hit you then, didn’t it?” 

Zelda took a sip, holding the mug tightly as she considered what to say.

“I could’ve been killed. He looked at me before we drove away with such hate. But she called me, she asked me to come. What could I do?” She began to shake, placing the mug on the table between them.

Mary Grace laid her hand on Zelda’s knee, a gentle smile on her face.

“You could’ve said no. You can always say no.”

“But I care about her. How could I have left her in that kind of situation?”

“Honey, she could’ve called the police.”

Taking a deep breath, Zelda let it out slowly. “It’s more complicated than that. We, I mean, I, well, I _care_ about her, if you know what I mean.”

Without missing a beat, the older woman nodded, “Of course I know what you mean. There aren’t too many people in this world I’d go to the mat for, and those are the people I love. It sounds like that’s what you’re saying to me.”

Zelda shrugged at that. 

“Like I said, it’s complicated. I don’t want harm to come to her; I want her to be able to depend on me. I want her in my life.” She felt flushed, realizing what she was saying.

“But what does that mean for you? Do you run every time she crooks her finger, or do you take care of yourself first?"

Furrowing her brow, Zelda looked at the mug in her hands. “I’m not sure. The right answer is to take care of myself, but that’s not something I’m used to.”

“It’s time you were used to that. You’re worth it. And this girl’s got you feeling confused. Can you just step back and decide what it is you want?”

“What if she wants nothing to do with me if I put her off?”

“If she cares about you the way you obviously do about her, then she’ll be willing to do what’s best for you too.” Mary Grace nodded, her face beaming with pride. “Look, you’ve got two weeks of sobriety down, you’ve come regularly to the meetings. You’ve gotten through some of the toughest parts, and you’re just now seeing what life can be like without drinking. How do you feel about your own progress?”

Zelda stood to take Mary Grace’s mug and walked into the kitchen, not willing to show the woman how much her words of encouragement meant.

“I’m real proud of myself,” She said as she returned to Mary Grace’s side. “I can’t say I haven’t wanted to drink, but I didn’t do it. But I’m afraid if things progress with Lilith and anything goes wrong I’ll be back at square one.”

“You need somebody who knows the ropes, somebody you can reach out to when things get tough.”

“I do need that.” She looked out the window as she continued. “You’ve been so kind to me, Mary Grace. I’m new to all this, and I know I need to be held accountable for my actions in order for this program to work. Would you consider being my sponsor?”

“I was hoping you’d ask me. I’d love to do that for you.” 

Zelda heard her phone buzz then, and noticed the call was from Lilith.

Mary Grace grinned at her. “Is that your friend? Your whole face lit up when you looked at your phone.”

The redhead nodded, the flush creeping across her cheeks again.

“She said she might need a place to stay tonight. I brought her to my apartment last night and took care of her. She was bad off.”

“Listen, if that girl can’t see what’s plain on your face she must be blind. Take care of you, Zelda. And if she comes along for the ride well then, that’s just a bonus.”

She stood to leave, embracing the older woman, thanking her for agreeing to be her sponsor, and all her kindness.

“If I can pass along any good that was done for me I’m damn sure going to do it. Take care, darlin’ and call me if you need me.”

They exchanged phone numbers and Zelda was on her way, calling Lilith back as soon as she got in her car.

She picked up after several rings, sounding breathless.

“Hey, Zelda. How was your day off?”

“It’s been quite a day honestly. And yours?” It was all Zelda could do to keep the emotion from her voice. 

“Oh, you know, I’ve been trying to patch things up with Sheryl.”

“How did that go?” Lilith went quiet then, and Zelda knew the answer.

“She kicked me out. I guess I don’t blame her. She took one look at my face and well, yeah. Anyway, can I stay with you again?”

Mary Grace’s words and her fledgling sobriety caused her to stop, but she considered the harm one night could do. One night wasn’t much to ask.

“Yes, that’ll be okay. My couch is your couch.”

They agreed to meet at Zelda’s apartment, Lilith saying she would bring them something to eat. As Zelda hung up, the thought of being with Lilith again aroused and confused her. The chemistry and attraction were there, but her inability to free herself from Billy caused Zelda’s stomach to twist.

She wanted to talk to Lilith, to lay all her cards on the table in as honest a way as she could. Her mind felt clear and she had a purpose, and she knew Lilith would understand her need to continue to get better. She hoped they would be able to help each other on their journey.

Just laying out some plates and water glasses, Zelda heard Lilith’s tap on the door, followed by a loud call of her name.

“Hurry, Zelda! My hands are full and it’s hot!”

Tugging open the door, Zelda grabbed a pizza before Lilith dropped it, and she laughed at the brunette’s relieved face. 

Lilith entered, dropping an overnight bag on the floor next to the couch, and placing a tote bag on top of it. She had a brown bag in her other hand, and placed it in the freezer before she grabbed a slice from the box.

“Dessert - I hope you like chocolate,” she declared as she folded the slice and bit into it, cheese stretching as she pulled the slice away.

“Of course I do. Come sit with me.” She took the plates and glasses out onto the balcony. “Bring the rest, please.”

Lilith brought the pizza, placing it at the end of her chair while she folded her legs into a lotus pose, her cutoff shorts riding up her slim thighs. She grinned as Zelda handed her a plate, stuffing the last of the slice into her mouth.

“Hand me a slice, please.” Handing her a plate, Zelda looked at her strangely when she refused to take it.

“Get it yourself, it’s right there.” Lilith talked through her mouthful of cheese.

The redhead gracefully leaned over to lay a slice on her plate, smirking as Lilith licked her lips, her eyes on Zelda’s ass. 

“You are incorrigible.” Zelda laughed as she caught Lilith’s eyes on her. 

“And you love it.” Lilith winked as she took another slice from the greasy box.

Zelda rolled her eyes but couldn’t disagree. Lilith was making it nearly impossible to be serious, so Zelda changed her tactic.

Pouring some water from the cobalt blue bottle, she handed the brunette a glass, asking her how it went with Sheryl.

Lilith sighed dramatically, drinking deeply before she answered.

“She made such a big deal out of all of it. I told her I was fine, that nothing happened,” she wouldn’t meet Zelda’s eyes as she spoke.

Zelda reached for Lilith’s chin, turning her head so she could see the slightly faded bruising around her eye and cheekbone. 

Pursing her lips, Zelda raised her eyebrows. “Sheryl could see what happened for herself. You said she kicked you out, how did it come to that?”

Lilith contemplated her answer as she laid her now empty plate on top of the pizza box. “I told her I called you to come get me.”

“Why would she object to that? You needed help,” Zelda knew the answer even as she asked the question.

“She knew I had crossed the line. When she knew I was seeing Billy again, she told me he was no good, that he would try to get me to use again.”

_And she wasn’t wrong,_ Zelda thought, but she knew better than to say it.

“And had she laid down some sort of ultimatum about him?”

“She expects me to be perfect, Zelda.” She moved to stand by the railing of the screened balcony. “I can’t live up to her expectations.”

“So I take it she said it was either him or leave her house?”

“Yes, that’s it,” Lilith threw up her hands in exasperation. “Like I’m some teenager with a boyfriend my parents don’t like.”

Weighing her words carefully, Zelda settled on the obvious fact in front of her.

“You chose him then, I guess?”

“Not so much him as I can’t be held to her rules. I can’t promise I won’t see him again. If he calls or texts, I want to tell him it’s over. And that will involve seeing him.”

Zelda refused to let herself be baited this time; she wasn’t going to offer advice and have this conversation turn into an argument.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why is he so hard to let go? It seems like he’s made things nothing but difficult for you, and yet you refuse to just walk away. And I’m not judging you at all, hell, I held on to a man for far too long. I’m just curious is all.”

Lilith shook her head. “That’s just it, I don’t know. He works on an oil rig off the coast now. I don’t even know how he tracked me down, but I think my brother owed him money or something and I was a part some bargain they struck. Like I told you, he can be so charming as long as he gets what he wants.”

“Will Sheryl still be your sponsor now?” Zelda gathered everything up to go back inside. “It might be hard to find someone new, someone you can trust.”  
  


“She won’t give me up like that, but she’s pretty pissed. I need to figure my own shit out, but I know I can still call if I need her.” Lilith sat on the counter next to the dishwasher.

“Yeah, and you’ll need that.” Zelda rinsed their dishes, pleased that Lilith wanted to sort out her issues with Billy. That in itself was encouraging.

“Hey, I did something today I’m pretty proud of too. I asked a woman in my group to sponsor me. And she agreed.”

“Oh yeah? Good for you, that will help you so much. You’ve come a long way in just a few weeks.”

“It hasn’t been easy, but I’m proud of myself.” She finished at the sink and leaned against the counter next to where Lilith sat. “What would you like to do tonight? We could go see a movie, walk on the beach?”

“Let’s stay here. Watch a movie. You, me, the couch. That sounds nice.”

“Sure, I don’t mind staying around here. Let’s see what we can find to watch.” Zelda slipped off her sandals and curled her feet underneath herself as she sank down onto the couch, Lilith propping her feet on the table in front of them. She grabbed the remote and found a horror movie neither of them had seen. They settled in, watching in comfortable silence.

Lilith was soon laughing as Zelda put a pillow in front of her face, hiding behind it when she knew a jump scare was coming.

“She is not going to check on that noise all alone. Why are they always so dumb in these movies?” Lilith slid over, taking the pillow from Zelda’s hands and laying it behind her head.

“Slide over. I’ll protect you from the big scary man with the ax.” She joked, but Zelda obliged, hiding her face in Lilith’s neck the next time the killer lunged out from behind a door.

She kept her head on the brunette’s shoulder after that, and Lilith brought her arm behind Zelda, allowing her to sink further into her side, finally laying her head in Lilith’s lap. Lilith ran her fingers through Zelda’s tousled hair, and the redhead shivered as her nails lightly scratched her scalp, tracing patterns down the nape of her neck.

“Is that bothering you?” Lilith asked when Zelda shuddered again.

Zelda turned enough to look Lilith in the eye.

“Only if you stop. That feels amazing.” Zelda sighed, melting into her touch.

Lilith continued, her fingers making their way down Zelda’s back and under her shirt. Zelda turned onto her back, looking up at Lilith. The brunette cupped her face gently, and Zelda sat up, meeting her halfway as their lips came together. 

Sitting up, the redhead straddled her lap, and Zelda’s hands were in Lilith’s hair, her neck, everywhere she could reach while they kissed. Lilith held Zelda’s face in her hands, desperately taking her lower lip between her teeth then sucking on it as Zelda gasped. 

Zelda heard a moan leave the other woman as she pulled away, reaching down for the hem of her tee shirt to pull it over her head, revealing her braless chest, dusky pink nipples ready for her caress. Leaning down, she ran her tongue around the edge of one, just beyond where Lilith was keening to be touched. Gripping the other between her thumb and forefinger, adding increasing pressure, she took the other hardened nub into her mouth, scraping it lightly with her teeth.

_“Zelda….god….yes,”_ Lilith moaned, one hand grasping Zelda’s thigh and the other tugging at her hair, holding her in place and pulling just enough to cause a groan to leave Zelda’s lips. 

Sitting back, Zelda pulled Lilith to her feet.

“Bedroom, now,” she demanded, kissing Lilith again, unbuttoning her shorts, the both of them stumbling as Lilith tugged her them off, until Lilith’s legs hit the bed and they both tumbled together onto the soft surface. Zelda crawled up to meet Lilith again, giving her a deep, longing kiss, the brunette whimpering as she began kissing down her neck. 

Slowly, tortuously, Zelda made her across her breasts again, repeating her motions from before, teeth and tongue biting and soothing until Lilith was bucking against her. 

“Please, Zelda, I need you….”

“I know what you need,” Zelda’s voice a deep rumble in her throat. 

She reached the edge of her panties, her fingers traveling down to the heated apex of her thighs, teasing still, tracing her slit as she slid back to kiss Lilith soundly again. 

“Don’t tease me….” Lilith whined, her hands buried in Zelda’s hair, her tongue mimicking the motion of Zelda’s fingers. 

Pulling her panties down her legs, Zelda tossed them aside, moving swiftly down Lilith’s body, returning again to retrace the path she’d taken a moment before, only with her tongue. 

With no warning, Zelda slid her tongue inside Lilith’s entrance and Lilith bucked into her mouth with a cry. Zelda looked up at the woman, her eyes tightly closed, hands gripping the sheets, repeating Zelda’s name again and again. She draped an arm over Lilith’s hips, holding her in place, her nails digging into the soft flesh as Lilith hissed.

She replaced her tongue with two fingers, setting a fast pace, then took Lilith’s clit in her mouth, scraping it lightly with her teeth.

Lilith moaned loudly enough for her neighbors to hear, and Zelda laughed at the thought, the vibrations shooting straight to Lilith’s core. Her thighs shook, and the fluttering and pressure around Zelda’s fingers increased until she came with a groan.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Zelda. Did you miss me or something?” Lilith laughed when she caught her breath. Zelda moved to kiss her gently, and Lilith moaned again at the taste of herself on Zelda’s lips.

“You could say that,” Zelda laughed, pulling off her clothes to lay beside Lilith. She brushed the wild curls aside to place her lips on Lilith’s neck, moving to lay behind her. “I’m so glad we’re on the same page now, that we both want the same things.”

“Yeah,” Lilith said quietly, rolling over to face the other woman, taking Zelda’s hand as it rested below her breasts. “I’m glad we are too.”

It was still dark when Zelda woke, and Lilith’s side of the bed was cold. She saw a light under the bathroom door, and heard motion on the other side, a shadow moving around.

She heard muffled coughing, then the sound of Lilith getting sick. Moving to the door, she knocked gently, then opened it.

Lilith was kneeling in front of the toilet, holding on to the sides as she vomited. Zelda knelt behind her, holding back her hair.

“What’s wrong? Do you think you’ve caught something?” 

Lilith looked up at her, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, her eyes dazed.

“Noooo, I don’t think so. I’ll be okay. Go back to bed.”

Zelda looked at her strangely, noticing her pupils were the same tiny pinpoints as they were before, and she had that same disoriented appearance.

Standing, she noticed a small pocket of white powder by the sink. She decided to go back to bed, but she took the packet with her, hiding it under her phone on the bedside table.

Lilith returned to bed soon after, wrapping herself around Zelda and falling asleep quickly. Zelda laid awake for hours, devastated at finding Lilith the way she had. She wanted to call Mary Grace, ask her what she should do, but she could hear the woman’s voice echoing in her mind from earlier in the day. _If she gets angry when you say no, it doesn’t mean you have to say yes. Take care of yourself._

Sleep finally overtook her, and when she woke again, Lilith was gone. She smelled coffee in the air, and found Lilith in her kitchen, pouring herself a cup.

“Oh, you’re awake,” she said suddenly, brushing her hair back from her face. “I was going to bring you a cup in bed.”

Zelda tightened the robe around her waist, holding her phone in one hand, the packet between the device and her palm.

“How are you feeling this morning? Did you get sick anymore?” Zelda turned her back to Lilith as she got a mug, filling it and then stirring in her sugar.

“No, I feel fine this morning.” She took her mug into the bedroom, and Zelda followed. Lilith seemed to be looking for something as she glanced around the bathroom and then under the bed.

“Looking for this?” Zelda held up the packet and Lilith’s eyes went wide.

Zelda’s eyes filled with tears as she sat on the edge of the bed, her disappointment hanging in the air between them.

“Why, Lilith, why?” She finally said, and Lilith wouldn’t look her in the face.

She shook her head. “You know why. For the same reason you had for drinking. It feels good. And I don’t have to think about how badly I fuck everything up when I’m high.”

“But you said...and I thought you wanted to be with me….”

“Zelda, this has nothing to do with you. At all. I care about you, so very much. You’re the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever known. You saved my life, for Christ's sake, and you brought me back here and put me back together. You put me in that tub and showed me more love than anyone ever has. I don't know how to fix this. But we can’t get this right.”

“No,” the redhead quietly said. “This isn’t right. I have to think about myself now, and I can’t be around you if you’re going to keep doing this. No ultimatums though. I want you to get better for you. Just like you wanted me to be better for me.”

Tears sliding down her face now, Lilith nodded, her face crumpled as she spoke.

“I...I need to go.” 

“Yes, I think that would be best.”

Lilith finished getting dressed, picking up her bag. Zelda wanted to hold on to her, to shake some sense into her, but she knew it would do no good. She had to want it herself.

She stood at the window and watched Lilith drive away. Only then did she realize what she’d lost, what she’d thrown away. 

Crawling back to her bed, Zelda sobbed into her pillow, crying until she had nothing left to cry. 

Texting Mary Grace after she prepared for work, she let her know she needed to talk. She knew she’d done the right thing in telling Lilith she couldn’t stay, but the urge to drink was stronger than ever now; all she wanted to do was blot out the pain. 

And Mary Grace met her after work, letting her cry, telling her in the long run it was the best thing for both of them. Instead of drinking away her pain, Zelda talked about it, and she stuck with her sobriety.

A week later, Zelda approached Sheryl after work in the parking lot.

  
  
Sheryl asked how Zelda was progressing in her recovery, and Zelda smiled, proudly sharing her three weeks of not drinking. 

“I haven’t seen Lilith here lately,” Zelda got to the point of why she wanted to speak to Sheryl. “I just figured we had different shifts but it can’t be that.”

Looking at her with sympathy, Sheryl replied, “Lilith called me early one morning, letting me know she was leaving. I thought Bobbie Jo would have told you. She transferred to the Pascagoula store. She’s gone, Zelda.”

  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She sat at her vanity, the last reminder of the trailer she’d sold three months before. Finally completely free from Faustus, she’d signed the closing documents, taken the check and hadn’t given him a second look as he gaped at her across the table. He’d had the nerve to try and flirt with her, to compliment her on how good she looked, and she acted like she hadn’t heard him. He was yesterday’s news as far as she was concerned. 

_I remember everything_

_Things I can't forget_

_The way you turned and smiled on me_

_On the night that we first met_

_And I remember every night_

_Your ocean eyes of blue_

_How I miss you in the morning light_

_Like roses miss the dew_

_-i remember everything - john prine_

  
  
  
  


**5 months later**

Stepping into the tan pumps, their stiff newness unforgiving against her toes, Zelda looked at herself in the full length mirror. Her dark navy pencil skirt and tailored jacket fit her to a tee, the peach camisole peaking out between the lapels flattered her skin and added color to her very neutral new uniform. At least she hoped it would be her new one. 

She sat at her vanity, the last reminder of the trailer she’d sold three months before. Finally completely free from Faustus, she’d signed the closing documents, taken the check and hadn’t given him a second look as he gaped at her across the table. He’d had the nerve to try and flirt with her, to compliment her on how good she looked, and she acted like she hadn’t heard him. He was yesterday’s news as far as she was concerned. 

She had splurged on herself, spending a month’s rent on her new clothes and a Coach bag she’d been admiring. It felt extravagant, and she felt the tiniest twinge of guilt as she brushed her hair, recently cut and styled with a part down the middle, in asymmetrical layers that flattered her face.

With three days until Christmas, Zelda had been called to a regional meeting and the vice president in charge of personnel had asked for a private meeting afterwards. Members of the Board of Directors had recently visited Gulfport, pleased with what they’d heard about the renovations and re-opening after the storm. The rumors from corporate were that Zelda was going to be asked to replace a district manager moving up to the home office in Arkansas. 

Satisfied with her appearance, she added some diamond studs she’d also bought herself recently as a reward for six months of sobriety. Mary Grace had taken her out to dinner, one of many they’d had over the course of their time in AA together. She had been a light in the dark during that first month after Lilith left, providing advice but never pushing harder than she sensed Zelda could take. As Zelda grew stronger and more confident in her ability to do what was good for herself, Mary Grace had always been there to provide a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on, especially when the contact with Lilith had gone silent.

_Lilith,_ she hadn’t heard a word from the woman in months, and the only information she'd gotten from Sheryl recently was that Lilith had stopped taking her calls. She still worked at the Walmart in Pascagoula; Zelda knew that from Bobbie Jo who set up the transfer and had a friend in HR there. She had texted Lilith several times only to receive a very brief response or none at all. Mary Grace had advised Zelda to give her time, that Lilith would reach out when she was ready, but Zelda was doubly concerned now that she wasn’t speaking to Sheryl.

Today’s meeting was taking place in Pascagoula, but Zelda had not let Lilith know she’d be in the area, afraid of the woman’s possible rejection. In the five months they’d been apart Zelda had joined a yoga class, and met a woman she found interesting. They’d gone out to dinner a few times, but the spark wasn’t there, and eventually she’d thrown herself back into her job, taking classes online as she worked towards her BS in Business Administration.

As much as she hoped she saw Lilith, Zelda understood that she very well may be at the same place she was when she left Gulfport and knew she had to accept that. She made the 45 minute drive east along Highway 90, the grey water of the ocean to her right. A storm was blowing in, and dark clouds rolled across the sky. Heavy rain began to pelt her car, the windshield wipers no defense against the driving downpour. 

Traffic slowed to a crawl along the stretch of narrow, two-lane road that passed over the inland channels of the Gulf, making Zelda glad she’d left early, giving herself plenty of time to arrive at the store.

Her nerves were getting the better of her. Instead of dwelling on the what-ifs, her mind spinning scenarios of being tongue-tied or blurting out the wrong thing if she happened to see Lilith, she called Mary Grace.

“Hey, honey, you sound like you’re in the car? I hope it’s not storming there like it is here.” The older woman’s sweet voice calmed Zelda’s overstimulated nerves.

“Hey, yes, I’m driving to that meeting I told you about a few days ago. In Pascagoula.” She was certain Mary Grace would get the deeper meaning of what she was saying.

“Oh, yes, your regional meeting at the store where your girl works. How are you feeling about possibly seeing her?”

“I think you probably know. My heart is beating ninety to nothing. And now I’m stuck on 90 in this storm.”

“How much farther ya got til you get there?” She could hear the weather radio Mary Grace kept in her kitchen blaring out the forecast and the concern in the woman’s voice.

“About 15 more minutes.” Zelda tried to slow her breathing. “I just keep thinking I won’t know what to say if I see her.”

“Well, then let her do the talking. I don’t need to remind you how hurt you were when she left. And from what you’ve said she’s been rather quiet. But, sweetie, you don’t know her side. Give her a chance to tell it.”

Zelda nodded, her hands gripping the steering wheel as the traffic began to move.

“I-I can do that,” the confidence rising in her voice as she spoke. 

“And besides, you’re about to have a promotion dropped in your lap. You’ve got nothing to feel bad about, nothing you should feel guilty for.”

“Yes, I was looking out for me, doing what I needed to do.” The rain was letting up now, streaks of sun breaking through the clouds.

“Look at you now, moving up that corporate ladder, working on your college degree. I’m proud of you, Zelda.”

Unable to stop the tears that sprung to her eyes, Zelda’s voice shook as she answered. “I’m proud too.”

“Now you take yourself into that store and if you see her, fine. If you don’t, fine as well. But you show those big shot Walmart people who you are, and get yourself that new job.” Zelda could hear the smile that must be filling Mary Grace’s wrinkled face.

She veered to the left, exiting the highway and could see the sign in the distance.

“Wish me luck,” Zelda said. “I’m almost there.”

“You do good, girl. I’ll be thinking about you.”

They disconnected as Zelda turned into the parking lot filled with shoppers. Steering through the crowds, she made her way to the back of the store, finding an empty spot near the entrance. She glanced around for that familiar Jeep, but didn’t see it nearby.

A brisk wind hit her bare legs as she got out of her car, and she hurried to the door, mindful of the puddles and her new shoes. Another employee buzzed open the door, then held it for her as she walked in. She glanced around, the layout somewhat different than her own store. Not seeing a restroom she settled for smoothing her hair with her fingers, rubbing her lips together and wishing she’d reapplied her lipstick in the car.

Walking down the hallway to the sales floor, she noticed a crowd had formed in the toy section to the right. A large red chair and roped off line indicated they’d brought in a Santa Claus that day, and the whole area was packed with people. Little children ran here and there, their guardians chased them or stood off to the side on their phones, waiting their turns to sit on the big man’s lap.

She decided to take a detour through a nearby aisle when she spied a woman with long curly chestnut hair holding the hand of a golden haired child towards the end of the line. Her back was turned, but Zelda knew those legs and the boots she wore anywhere. 

Her mouth was suddenly dry and she licked her lips, gripping her purse as her palms grew sweaty. She froze, her feet not following her mind’s command to approach the pair, so she stood off to one side and stared.

The girl turned toward her, and Zelda was shocked to see Lilith’s bright blue eyes in her little face. She gave the child a smile, and watched as she tugged on the woman’s hand in hers, saying, “Mama, there’s a lady looking at you,” and pointing in Zelda’s direction.

Lilith looked up then, her eyes widening in surprise, then her mouth crooked into a half smile. She moved out of the line, standing before Zelda, looking very unsure of herself. 

“Zelda, I…” she started to say, but she hesitated. “What are you doing here?”

Zelda lowered her head, mind whirling with the thousand things she wanted to say. She finally settled on squatting down in front of the little girl, laying her purse on the floor to look into that second pair of ocean eyes.

“You must be Brina.” The little girl nodded, her curls bobbing up and down. “Were you in line to see Santa?”

“Uh huh, I already told him what I wanted for Christmas, but I forgot somethin’ so mama said we could wait in line again to tell him. It’s important.” Zelda grinned at the child’s sincerity.

“It must be if you were waiting in that long line to tell him. I like your Rudolph sweater.” She pointed at the fuzzy reindeer face with a bright red bell for a nose on Brina’s chest, and the girl grinned up at her. 

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is my favorite Christmas song ever!” she said excitedly. “Wanna hear me sing it?!”

“Brina, not right now, not in the middle of the store, honey.” Lilith chuckled as she extended a hand to help Zelda stand. She held on just a moment longer after Zelda righted herself and their eyes met again.

“Hey,” Zelda said softly, as Lilith held on to her hand. 

“Hey.” Lilith’s cheeks turned a rosy shade as they looked into each other’s eyes. “You look amazing, Zelda. You cut your hair!”

“Yeah, it was time.” Zelda smoothed her shoulder length hair back. “And you’ve let yours grow. It’s so long.” She resisted the urge to run her fingers through its length. 

“It’s easier to deal with if I just let it go, especially with this one around all the time now.” She swung the little girl’s hand back and forth as she spoke. 

Zelda gave her a puzzled expression, then it dawned on her what Lilith was saying. 

“You mean, Brina lives here with you?! You got custody of her?”

“I did, she’s been here almost a month with me now.” Lilith’s smile could’ve lit a city block.

Looking down, Zelda noticed the little girl watching the conversation, her face going back and forth between the two of them.

“Lilith, I’m so happy for you!” Before she thought about it, Zelda pulled Lilith into a hug, burying her face in her curly locks. She noticed the woman tense up, then she finally relaxed into Zelda’s embrace. Lilith’s free hand slid down to Zelda’s lower back, subtly pulling her closer, and the warmth of her cheek was pressed to Zelda’s own. 

When they reluctantly let go, Zelda glanced at her watch, noticing she needed to get moving.

“I have a regional meeting now and then another with the VP of Personnel after, but it’s been really good to see you.” She bent to pick up her bag, smiling again at Brina. “And it’s nice to finally meet the famous Brina.”

The brunette took Brina’s hand, glancing back at the line for Santa, and back at Zelda, a myriad of emotions crossing her face.

When Lilith remained quiet, Zelda began to walk away, her emotions washing over her. She closed her eyes and held a hand to her mouth, praying there was a restroom nearby so she could fix her face before this meeting.

“Zelda, wait…” Lilith called. “Can we wait for you? Like until your meeting is over?”

Blinking several times before she turned around, Zelda nodded, not trusting her voice. She cleared her throat then smiled. 

“I’d like that. I can text you when I’m done in case Brina gets tired of hanging around here.”

“Okay, and maybe we can go get lunch or something.”

Zelda nodded again, and Lilith reached out to rub her arm.

“See you soon.” Zelda walked towards the office, her head held high. 

Several hours later she waited for the VP of Personnel in the hallway when she heard a buzz from her phone. 

Lilith had messaged that they were going home, and Zelda sent a text to let her know she wouldn’t be much longer. Trying to focus on the task at hand, her mind drifted back to the feeling of holding Lilith in her arms again. The scent of her shampoo lingered even now, and the moment she relaxed and leaned in to the embrace brought a warmth Zelda hadn’t expected to feel after all this time.

“Ms. Spellman?” A voice called from inside the conference room, and Zelda walked inside for her interview. 

They sat at the conference table, Zelda’s superior laying out several documents between them, and Zelda recognized the sales over time, profit margin, and personnel retention reports. 

“I don’t need to say how impressed we’ve been with your work at the Gulfport store over the past two years. You’ve turned the place around, Ms. Spellman.”

Zelda nodded and blushed, remaining silent until she heard Mary Grace’s admonition from that morning. _You show those big shot Walmart people who you are, and get yourself that new job._

“Yes, store 692 was one of the lowest performers in the Southern Mississippi District when I stepped in to take the management position. And the hurricane made continuing the growth we achieved difficult but not impossible. I’m proud of my staff and all we’ve been able to do.” Zelda spoke with pride about her accomplishments.

“I’m glad to hear you include your staff because if you do decide to take the District Manager position we will need to know the Gulfport store will be in good hands. Do you feel your current assistant manager is up to the task?”

She answered without hesitation. “Bobbie Jo McAllister is more than ready to take the job. Over the past several months she has shown real leadership capability. And that retention report you have - that’s all her. She leads the store in my absence with a firm but kind hand, and she has the respect of the associates and department managers. Bobbie Jo has her own ideas for improvements beyond what we’ve done as a team as well.”

The other woman gathered all the reports and placed them into a folder. 

She turned back to Zelda with a smile. “I’m very pleased to offer you the position of District Manager of the Southern Mississippi district. Your performance in combination with your pursuit of your business degree make you a fine candidate for the job.” Reaching out her hand, Zelda took it, her handshake firm and confident.

“Thank you, I’m honored to accept this position and I’ll do my best to live up to the confidence you’ve placed in me.” Zelda proudly smiled, inhaling a shaky breath. 

“We will get with you after the New Year with all the details and responsibilities you’ll have. Enjoy the holidays, you’ve earned them.”

They both stood, exchanging another handshake and Zelda was on her way.

It wasn’t until she was back in her car that she let herself express the excitement she felt. FaceTiming Mary Grace, she hurriedly told her the news, laughing at the woman’s reaction as she danced around her kitchen. She promised to call back later, but Zelda was ready to see Lilith again. Texting her, Zelda felt relieved when the three dots appeared almost instantly letting her know Lilith was responding. They agreed to meet somewhere Brina could play and they could talk, the closest place being the Chick Fil A off Highway 90.

The restaurant wasn’t too crowded when Zelda pulled in, and she saw Lilith’s jeep next to an empty space. Brina was anxiously tapping on her car window before she even turned off the engine.

“Hey, hey! Mama says we’re going to eat together! Can I sing for you after?” Zelda tapped the little girl on the nose, nodding as her bright blue eyes lit up.

“Brina, you be sweet and don’t drive Miss Zelda crazy. She came to see us, not watch you put on a show,” Lilith joined them, scooping up her child and grinning at Zelda. “How was your meeting?”

“It was really good,” Zelda said happily. “I got some great news.”

“You’ll have to let us buy lunch to celebrate whatever it is.” Leading the way, the redhead followed close behind.

“Don’t feel like you have to do that,” Zelda tried to say, but Lilith shushed her. 

They ordered and found a spot near the play area so Brina would be in earshot, and she bounced away, telling Zelda she’d be right back.

“My baby was completely taken by you. She talked non-stop about how ‘the pretty lady liked her sweater’ and how she wanted to see you again. I haven’t ever seen her take to someone that fast.”

“She’s precious. Her expressions are just like you!”

“She’s a mess is what she is. But thank you,” Lilith looked over as Brina climbed to the top of the slide, helping another child who struggled to climb up. “Having her with me again has kept me going, kept me on the straight and narrow. Her daddy misses her something fierce, but he watched her day after day, thinking me being gone was her fault. I think I’ve been able to convince her otherwise, but being with me has made a big change in both of us.”

Zelda listened intently, the other people milling around them fading into the background. A peace and a calmness covered Lilith’s face she’d never noticed, and she wanted to hear more, but they called her name for their food. She tapped on the window for Brina while Lilith went to the counter.

“Miss Zelda,” Brina bounded over and slid into the booth. “Will you tie my shoe?” 

Without waiting for an answer, she plunked her foot into Zelda’s lap, and the redhead was working on a knot in her shoelace when Lilith returned. 

“Sabrina! Get your foot off Miss Zelda’s lap!” Lilith scolded, and Zelda laughed at her reaction, shaking her head and fixing her laces. “You’d think I never taught you any manners at all!”

“Mama, she didn’t mind.” She dug into her fries, squirting ketchup and mayonnaise all over them. 

Zelda rolled her eyes and opened her salad, “Lilith, let her alone. I really didn’t mind. Shoelaces are my area of expertise.”

“Ex-per,” Brina tried to say.”What’s that mean?”

“It means she was trying to get you out of trouble, young lady,” Lilith said with a firm tone, but her eyes twinkled at how Brina looked at Zelda.

“How do you like living here in Mississippi?” Zelda asked Brina, and the child launched into a description of her new school, their house, all the friends she’d made in her new kindergarten class, and how her daddy was coming to visit soon. While Brina talked, Zelda noticed Lilith watching her out of her peripheral vision, chin in her hand, clearly amused by all the animated details Brina shared.

Zelda went on asking the child questions, and the two were fast friends by the time they’d finished eating.

“Mama, can I go play again?” Brina asked as she stuffed her last chicken nugget in her mouth. 

“Go ahead, baby,” Brina bounded out of the booth, only to return and give Lilith a kiss on the cheek, then climbing up on one knee next to Zelda to give her one too. She ran away again, climbing inside the play area and disappearing from sight.

“Oh, Lilith, I just want to eat her up! I’m so glad I got to meet her.”

Lilith looked down at her hands resting on the table.

“She is a wonder. And I’m glad we ran into you today." Lilith cleaned their table, stacking all the trash on the tray. "I was planning on texting you after Christmas; I’ve been wanting to see you.”

“You went pretty quiet a few months ago.” Zelda stared at her own hands, fiddling with her ring.

“I did, and I’m sorry. Truly I am. For so many things.” The brunette's voice became strained as she finished speaking.

Zelda couldn’t find it in herself to look at Lilith. She wasn’t ready for all this; it was too much, too many feelings to be uncovering in public.

“So tell me how you’ve been. What is life like with Brina again?” Zelda asked when she found her voice again.

“She’s so smart, Zelda. She can read already, and she loves math. Adam had already taught her to multiply and I’ve been trying to teach her how to do all kinds of problems in her head. That’s what we do when we drive from place to place, she wants to add up the numbers we see. I always liked math best in school.”

The pride Lilith showed in her daughter was plain on her face, as was the love she had for her.

“How was the adjustment to living here for her? Did she have a hard time?”

“At first I was worried she’d struggle, but her teacher says she’s way beyond the other kids. I think they’re going to put her in an advanced program at school.”

“How wonderful, but I really meant the adjustment of being with you instead of her daddy.”

Lilith sighed, looking again towards the windows out towards the play area.

“I feel like she tries to take care of me, instead of the other way around.”

Zelda nodded, knowing exactly what she was saying. She wanted to reach across the table, tell Lilith it would get better, but she knew that wasn’t her place. Not today.

“Give her time, Lilith. Kids are real resilient.” Pausing to wave to Brina through the window, Zelda asked the question she really needed the answer to. “How are you doing?”

“You know, I’m really good. Really good. I’ve spent my time here focusing on what’s important, and I decided ---”

Brina ran up to the table then, her sweater pulled up to show a scrape on her elbow. She was wailing like her arm was broken.

“Baby, what is it?” Lilith took a look at her arm, wiping it off gently with a napkin and stopping the bleeding. She dug in her bag and found a Mickey Mouse Band-Aid which seemed to placate the little girl a bit, her tears still streaming down her face.

“Mama, I want to go home.” She sniffled through her words, and Zelda handed her a tissue. 

Lilith made a face at Zelda behind Brina’s head, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, we’ll go home. Maybe you can watch Rudolph again and you’ll feel better.”

Brina nodded and let Lilith pick her, settling her on her hip.

They walked towards their cars, and Zelda opened her door, tossing her purse inside. Leaning against the frame, she turned toward Lilith. 

“Hey, don’t be a stranger. Call me,” Zelda fought her feelings as they went to say their goodbyes.

“I have a better idea.” Lilith whispered in Brina’s ear, the girl nodding vigorously in agreement. “Are you going to your sister’s for Christmas?”

Zelda shook her head. “No, she and her husband went on a cruise to the Bahamas for Christmas this year. It’s just me and Netflix.”

“Come to our house Christmas Day. We don’t have any big plans, but I am planning to cook dinner, and we can get caught up. I still don’t even know your big news.” Both mother and daughter’s eyes pleaded with her to say yes.

“Oh, well I’ll tell you on Christmas then. Okay, you’ve convinced me to give up my couch and my remote for the day.”

Brina bounced with excitement at that, leaning over to give Zelda a hug that she gently returned.

“Bye, Miss Zelda. See you Friday!” She wriggled down and ran around to get in the car.

Once she was inside and the door shut, Zelda turned to get into her car.

She felt Lilith’s hand on her back. 

“Thank you for meeting us, Zelda, and thank you for agreeing to come back. I have so much I want to tell you, so much I want to say to you.”

“I know, and I have things I want to tell you. I will see you Friday, Lilith.”

Zelda got behind the wheel, Lilith still standing in the parking lot, and she drove away, unsure of how she felt about what had just happened and what she’d promised to do.

  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda could hear people in the background, but it sounded like they were some distance away. She could picture Lilith walking away from her co-workers when she received Zelda’s reply, twisting a length of hair around her finger and biting her bottom lip as she dialed Zelda back.
> 
> “But of course, same old same old around here. Although I do miss that girl who barged in and made my lonely smoking spot her own.” They laughed at the memory of Zelda finding Lilith smoking her first night at work, then the redhead remembered how Lilith had looked at her, how her eyes had traveled her body.

_I remember everything_

_Things I can't forget_

_Swimming pools of butterflies_

_That slipped right through the net_

_And I remember every night_

_Your ocean eyes of blue_

_How I miss you in the morning light_

_Like roses miss the dew_

_-i remember everything - john prine_

As she would have expected, Bobbie Jo was less than confident when she found out she was to become the next store manager. Zelda had told her to keep it to herself, but the terrified noise she made was probably heard all over the store.

They were sitting in their shared office the next day, cheery Christmas music playing over the loudspeakers, and Zelda was still riding the high she felt from her promotion. Bobbie Jo was humming along in her own off key way to Jingle Bells, and it felt like a fitting time to give her the good news.

“What? Me?” She held her hand to her chest, the look on her face something like what Zelda remembered from their bar-hopping days when she had had one too many tequila shots. She almost placed the trash can closer to the woman’s desk as she continued to respond in shock.

“I can’t do this without you, Zelda!” Her voice rose in volume and pitch. “You taught me everything I know. What if another hurricane comes? What if we get robbed? What if --”

“Bobbie Jo!” Zelda held up her hand to interrupt her tirade of fear. “You can and you will be the manager here. Everything you need is right there if you forget any regulations.” Zelda pointed at the shelves filled with black binders, each carefully labelled. “Frank has two more weeks on his job as district manager and I want to have a few days to pick his brain before he leaves, but aside from that I’ll be here. You’ll be fine.”

Zelda had to laugh in empathy at the woman’s reaction for she remembered feeling much the same way when she had been given the job two years ago. 

“Listen, you’d better be right by your phone and be willing to drive down here and help me if I screw up too.” Bobbie Jo still looked green around the gills, but she was smiling now. “And Zelda, congratulations! You were saying you didn’t know if they’d pick you, but damn girl, how could they not?”

Rolling her eyes at the compliment, the redhead stood and brushed off the front of her skirt, smoothing out the wrinkles. 

“It wasn’t as if I was the only candidate, but I am thrilled to move up in the company.” She moved around the desk to prop herself on the front of it, phone in hand. 

She had been texting Lilith about what she should bring to her house Friday, the other woman insisting she needed to only bring herself, but she felt like something sweet would be the thing to do since a bottle of wine wouldn’t be suitable for either of them. 

The thought occurred to her that she didn’t have a present for Lilith or Brina, and she had no clue what to give them.

It was time for her to make her rounds of the store, so she started in the toy section, which, by this point, was pretty picked over. 

Skimming through the dolls, Legos, PlayDough, board games, she couldn’t find anything that felt right for the little girl she’d only just met. But then she saw a reindeer stuffed toy which would work perfectly, so she snatched it up, only to have it noisily ring out “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Lilith would probably kill her, but she took it anyway, laughing to herself at how she pictured her reaction.

She continued making her way through the aisles, greeting the employees she ran across, talking with them about their holiday plans, and thanking them for their hard work during this busy time.

_I’ll miss this,_ she thought. She knew she wouldn’t have this relationship with these people anymore, but now Bobbie Jo could step in and take care of them as she felt she had. Being responsible for eight stores, overseeing their marketing and displays Zelda knew she would have her hands full soon enough.

The last area she made her way through was frozen foods. Sheryl was arranging the last of the holiday foods they had in the front case, and Zelda stopped to tell her of Lilith and their visit.

Sheryl was overjoyed to know Lilith was doing well, and tears welled in her eyes when Zelda mentioned Brina living with her.

“She did it, Zelda! This must be the reason she went to Pascagoula and not back to Tennessee.”

Zelda shrugged her shoulders, not picking up on Sheryl’s meaning.

“Pascagoula is where she was in rehab. She told you that I think?” The woman looked like she had said too much, but Zelda affirmed what she had shared. “They have an outpatient program there too. Counseling and medical help if necessary. She knew what she needed and went after it.”

“Yes, yes, she did tell me that. And yes, you’re exactly right.” Suddenly filled with emotion at knowing why Lilith had left, Zelda wished Sheryl a Merry Christmas and headed on, her mind spinning with possibilities.

She knew having Brina living with her was a huge step, but to know that Lilith had done what was best for her, had sought help when she needed it left Zelda speechless.

“Ms. Spellman, you’re needed in Customer Service.” 

The intercom blared above her head, and she stood on tiptoe to see long lines swarming the cash registers.

The crush of shoppers and several new terminals that were opened quickly brought her back to reality, her thoughts of Lilith temporarily forgotten. In truth, she’d miss this mad, last-minute rush of people too. 

Midnight soon rolled around, the signal to the straggling customers calling out, her own recorded voice telling them they had 10 more minutes to pay and leave.

Bobbie Jo was handling closing, so Zelda snuck out a few minutes early, giving the woman her full confidence in controlling the now emptying store.

A brisk wind met her as she exited the back door, the stuffed deer in hand along with some wrapping paper and bows. She had the early shift the next day, opening in about six hours, so she wanted to get home as quickly as she could.

Checking her phone as she got in the car, she saw a text from Lilith.

_Brina wants to know if you’ll come for Christmas Eve and spend the night here with us. She wants to make a voice message so here goes._

There was the sound of scrambling hands and an “I’ll hold it, mama.” before Zelda heard the little girl’s voice speaking directly to her.

_Miss Zelda, will you come early Christmas Eve? Mama says you probably have to work because she does, but you could drive here after that. Please, please?_

Zelda wanted to respond immediately with a huge yes, especially after what Sheryl had deduced from Lilith’s location, but she was unsure. Would it be too much, too soon? 

Deciding to sleep on it, she curled up under the sheets later, staring out at the apartment complex lighting, her body warm with the idea of spending the night at Lilith’s house, being that close to her again.

Her phone buzzed again and she rolled over to look at the text.

_Brina’s not the only one who wants you to spend the night, you know._

Laughing to herself, she rolled back over. _Tomorrow,_ she thought. 

The next day flew by in a blur of customers, a last minute Santa Zelda swore smelled like a combination of suntan lotion, moth balls and Drakkar Noir, and Bobbie Jo’s husband calling her for advice on what to buy his wife for Christmas.

By the time her afternoon smoke break rolled around, Zelda realized she’d never answered Lilith’s text. Between the two cigarettes she tried to smoke in a five minute period, she fired off a quick yes to Lilith’s last message, adding a Santa and an eye roll emoji for good measure.

Her phone rang suddenly, and she answered with a laugh when she saw the caller.

“Did I catch you on a smoke break?” Lilith’s smooth drawl sent a shiver down Zelda’s spine.

“You did in fact. You know me so well.” Leaning back against the wall of the building, Zelda squinted up at the sun through her dark lenses.

“Oh yes,” Lilith took on a deeper tone. “I know you _very_ well.”

“And I am ever so thankful for it.” Her voice like whiskey, a low raspy sound, Zelda’s tone full of mock seriousness. “What about you? Smoking with your new friends?”

Lilith scoffed at that. “Friends? Maybe. But it’s not the place I’d rather be. Still got that same old coffee can?”

Zelda could hear people in the background, but it sounded like they were some distance away. She could picture Lilith walking away from her co-workers when she received Zelda’s reply, twisting a length of hair around her finger and biting her bottom lip as she dialed Zelda back.

“But of course, same old same old around here. Although I do miss that girl who barged in and made my lonely smoking spot her own.” They laughed at the memory of Zelda finding Lilith smoking her first night at work, then the redhead remembered how Lilith had looked at her, how her eyes had traveled her body.

“So I guess you’ll be under my roof tomorrow night. How cozy,” her lowered voice spoke pictures into Zelda’s now heated mind.

“I hear a cold front is blowing in. Should I bring my flannel pajamas?” 

“You won’t need them. You’ll be plenty warm, I think.” Lilith paused, covering the mouthpiece as she yelled to someone she’d be right there. She came back as Zelda leaned over to crush her last cigarette in the coffee can. “Depending on where you sleep that is.”

Rolling her eyes, Zelda burst out laughing again and Lilith joined her.

“Call me tomorrow when you leave there. There really is a cold front headed here, and I want you to be safe.” Lilith shifted back into work mode and Zelda heard her entering the busy store.

“I will. Enjoy these wild busy days! See you tomorrow night.”

“Bye, pretty lady,” Lilith disconnected and Zelda stared at her phone, not quite believing how easily they slid back into talking to one another. 

With only a few more hours left in her shift, Zelda let Bobbie Jo complete her paperwork while she put out fires on the sales floor.

She was helping a frazzled Christmas hire when she heard her name.

“Zeldy, well, if it isn’t Miss Manager herself, hanging out with the working class and getting her hands dirty!” Closing her eyes before she looked up, face beginning to burn with anger and shame, she put on the brightest smile she could as she looked into the face of her ex-husband, a twenty-something girl on his arm. 

A sarcastic remark on the tip of her tongue, she held back as she felt the eyes of her employees on her.

“Faustus, did you need something? I’m very busy as you can see.”

Looking around, he made a face and whispered something to the girl. 

“Not really finding what I’m lookin’ for in here. I’m wanting to buy one of those big ole Weber grills and I don’t think y’all sell those. Guess I’ll take my business on down to the Lowes cross town. We’re gonna have a party tomorrow night and I need a grill that can handle that kind of load.” 

Zelda glanced at the girl standing before her, from her veneered teeth to her velour track suit Zelda was sure said “Juicy” across the backside. She was staring at Faustus as if she was under some spell, and the redhead rolled her eyes.

“Well, then, good luck at Lowes. If you’d move aside now, you’re blocking the line.” Exasperated now, Zelda signaled to the customers waiting behind him to move on up.

He looked up and down the cash registers, his eyes narrowing.

“Where’s that little girl you had over to the house a while back? Don’t she work here anymore? You gotta learn how to treat your women, Zeldy.” He gave the woman next to him a squeeze, and she laughed loudly.

“I could say the same thing to you, Faustus, but I should really say it to your girlfriend. But I won’t because she’ll figure it out for herself soon enough. Now move out of the way before I get security to remove you,” she said in a low threatening voice, her eyes travelling to the guard by the door.

He walked away, but not without giving the girl a kiss while they were still in Zelda’s eyeline. _Satan preserve me,_ she thought. The cashier she was helping looked at her from the corner of her eye, and for the first time Zelda was glad she was getting away from Gulfport, away from the same day to day existence she’d had for years.

Chuckling to herself, she asked the cashier if she was married.

“No, ma’am and I’ve got no plans to be,” she said as she quickly scanned and bagged the grocery items.

“Good for you,” Zelda finished helping her and moved on, looking towards the door again. With no more sign of Faustus, she went to gather her things. She had one more item to buy and his visit made up her mind as to what she’d get Lilith for Christmas.

Pulling her coat close around her as the wind was picking up, Zelda walked down the sidewalk to a jewelry store several doors down from Walmart. The bell rang as she walked in, and a gentleman walked out from the storeroom in back.

“Ah, you’re back! Did you make up your mind which piece you wanted to get?” His kind eyes caused her to smile in response as she nodded.

Brushing back her hair, she leaned over the glass countertop to look more closely at its contents. She pointed to the item she wanted and he pulled it out, holding it up for her to see again. Nodding, she gave him her credit card and waited as he wrapped her her gift.

He placed the small box in a gold bag and tied it with a length of red tulle, and she was off, hoping Lilith would like it as much as she did.

She spent the rest of the evening packing a small bag she could leave in her car, her plan bring to drive straight from work to Pascagoula when her shift ended. Luckily the store closed early on Christmas Eve so she could get there with some of the evening left to spend with Lilith and Brina. 

Her excitement carried her through the day, a smile on her face she thought everyone was able to see through. But she hardly cared. 

Because it was Christmas Eve, she allowed her employees to wear more casual clothes. She had chosen a red silk shirt over jeans and low heeled boots, and the allowance she made seemed to be appreciated. She saw ugly Christmas sweaters all over, and Bobbie Jo had even turned it into a contest to decide whose was the worst. 

But when closing time rolled around she was ready. She pulled her purse out of the desk drawer, the sweets she’d picked up from the bakery three doors down safely tucked away inside.

Seated behind the wheel with Lilith’s address carefully typed into her GPS, she settled back, stomach full of butterflies. She was feeling what Mary Grace had called “good nerves”, explaining that when something was finally happening, when the timing finally seemed right, those jumpy feelings weren’t fear, they were joy.

She had met with Mary Grace that morning, exchanging presents and sipping hot tea before she headed to work.

After telling the older woman about her Christmas plans, Zelda had gone silent. Mary Grace took her hand, her wrinkled eyes peering at Zelda through her glasses. She spoke plainly as she always did, but her words were tinged with love.

_“Are you frightened now that it seems like you got what you wanted?” she asked. “That would make sense to me.”_

_“I feel silly even telling you about this. It’s almost like I'm going to see her again for the first time. For mercy’s sake, I know her in the Biblical sense.” Zelda turned crimson at that admittance, laughing at herself. “I’m as jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs as my daddy would say.”_

_“You may know her, darlin’, but you two haven’t had the chance to enjoy each other. What you’re feeling isn’t fear, it’s excitement. Why, this could be the greatest thing in the world for you. That’s what your mind is sayin’.”_

_“But what if, what if I mess it up? I’ve never been in a relationship outside of a few boyfriends in high school and my marriage. What if it’s not what she wants?”_

_“What if you do mess up? What’s the harm in making mistakes, and if it’s not what she wants I hope she has the good sense to either take a good long look at what she’d be tossing away or talk to you about it.” Mary Grace gave her hand a squeeze, her soft fingers giving Zelda confidence. “Give yourself a chance, Zelda. I don’t know who’s convinced you otherwise, but you deserve happiness.”_

Zelda drove down the dark highway, Christmas lights from the houses on the water glittering in the distance. _I do deserve to be happy_ , she told herself. _And I want to try with Lilith._

Her phone rang, interrupting her thoughts and she grinned when she saw it was Lilith.

“I was just thinking about you,” Zelda declared when the call connected.

“No wonder my ears were burning,” Lilith chuckled. “Are you on your way?”

“I’m just about to pass the Harrah’s in Biloxi. Are you home already?”

“Yes, and Brina is driving me crazy asking after you and Santa every five minutes.” Zelda heard a high-pitched voice in the background. “Would you talk to her and tell her you’re coming?”

“Sure, put that baby on the phone.”

Not ten seconds later an excited voice burst through the speakers of her car. “Miss Zelda, are you coming to our house now?”

“I am, honey. Are you ready for Santa tonight?” Zelda remembered laying out cookies and milk for Santa when Hilda was small, but she hadn’t had the chance to experience Christmas with a child since then. 

“Yes, ma’am! Me and Mama made cookies yesterday and decorated them all pretty for you and Santa. Will you be here soon?”

Zelda assured her she was driving as fast she could then Lilith got back on the phone.

“Thank you so much for coming tonight. Brina is beyond thrilled.”

“She’s such a doll. I’m just as thrilled to spend more time with her.” Zelda looked into the sky as a shooting star flew overhead. _A flaming star_. 

“See you soon, Zelda. Be careful.” 

It wasn’t long before Zelda turned off the main road into a quiet neighborhood of small, identical houses. Her GPS told her her destination was on the right, and she saw the white Jeep in the driveway. Pulling up beside it, she grabbed her bag and gifts and walked to the front door which flew open before she could knock.

Brina flew out the door, wrapping herself around Zelda’s legs. 

“Hey, little lady, it’s too cold out here. Let’s go inside.” 

When they got inside, Zelda could see Brina was ready for bed, face freshly scrubbed and wearing a Christmas onesie with reindeer horns on top. Her spiral curls poked out from under the hood and her blue eyes sparkled.

Once she laid her gifts under their small Christmas tree, Zelda squatted down in front of the little girl and gathered her into her arms, Brina’s small arms wrapping around her and squeezing tightly.

“Santa’s coming soon, Miss Zelda! Mama said I could see you then I had to go to bed.”

“I’m so glad you waited up for me. And she’s right, Santa won’t stop by if you’re awake.” She stood and gazed at Lilith who watched them with a smile.

“Are you gonna hug her too, Mama?” Brina beamed at the two of them.

Lilith moved towards Zelda, pulling her close and rubbing a hand down her back. She pulled back, but didn’t let go right away, looking into Zelda’s eyes, then leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

Zelda’s eyelashes fluttered, eyes closing as she felt Lilith’s soft lips on her skin, and her breath left her mouth in a sigh. She brushed a strand of hair that had escaped from one of Lilith’s braids back, her fingers lingering over the shell of her ear.

Their eyes met again, and Zelda thought she might kiss her again, but Lilith stepped back, breathless herself.

“Welcome to our house,” she murmured. Turning towards her daughter, Lilith pointed to the cookies on the nearby table. 

“Alright young lady, let’s get Santa’s cookies ready. And didn’t you want a carrot for Rudolph too?”

Brina ran to the refrigerator and took out a whole carrot, putting it on the plate next to the decorated sugar cookies. A note lay beside it, giving Santa instructions to not eat the carrot himself.

Zelda stood by and watched as the child carefully arranged everything til it suited her, yawning loudly as she poured grape juice into a little cup and set it beside the plate.

“Mama said when she was little Santa always drank a beer at her house but he’s gone to meetings like her and now he just drinks juice.”

Chuckling a little, Zelda made a serious face. “Good for Santa, he needs a clear head to fly his sleigh.”

Satisfied that everything was to her liking, Brina ran into her bedroom, jumping under the blankets and laying her head on the pillows.

Leaning in the doorway, Zelda listened to Lilith telling her how much she loved her, kissing her nose, then reminding her to go to sleep fast so Santa could deliver her presents.

Closing her bedroom door, Lilith whispered, “Let me lay out her presents and then I’m all yours.”

Stretching her arms over head, Zelda picked up her small bag.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to change and get more comfortable. Where should I --?” 

“So here’s the thing, I was going to have Brina sleep with me, but she’d have been up all night then. You can either have the couch, or we can share my bed.” Lilith rolled her eyes at Zelda’s smirk.

“I don’t mind sharing with you,” Zelda said sarcastically. “Are you a blanket hog though? You said it would be cold tonight and I’d hate to freeze.”

With a sly smile, Lilith showed her the bedroom, laughing as she said, “You won’t be cold, don’t worry about that.” 

Zelda pulled off her shirt and jeans, sliding a silky gown over her head, then walking back where Lilith was setting up a small bike, several sets of Legos and puzzles in front of the tree.

“Almost finished here,” she said as she turned toward Zelda. 

Zelda felt a flush cover her cheeks as Lilith’s eyes took her in, her gaze traveling from head to toe. 

“That doesn’t look like it will do much to keep you warm. We’ll have to do something about that.” 

She approached Zelda slowly, her fingertips gliding along the red locks moving them away from her neck, gently kissing under her jaw, then pausing as their eyes met.

“Thank you for giving me another chance,” she said, her lips softly grazing Zelda’s willing mouth.

  
  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “After all I’ve put you through, you keep giving. Most people would’ve walked away.”
> 
> Zelda hummed at that. “I’m not most people.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas fluff with a kid did my heart good - this year’s been tough so far

_I know you're hurt, I know it's my fault_   
_But I've kept I'm sorry locked in a vault_   
_I know that time just keeps going on_   
_And words by themselves can't right all the wrongs_

_In a world that's gone crazy_   
_You don't know what's true_   
_Most people don't change_   
_But some people do_

_-some people do-old dominion_

  
  
  


Zelda perched on the end of the bed, a shy smile gracing her lips as Lilith came in the room and quietly closed the door, turning her attention to the redhead.

“What a pretty picture you make, sitting there on the end of my bed, waiting for me.” Lilith’s voice shook as she spoke, belying the emotion she felt.

“I am waiting for you,” Zelda’s low, raspy voice had the effect she desired as she watched Lilith shiver. “Only you…”

Their eyes met, daring each other to be the first to move. Lilith began to unbutton her shirt when like a cat, Zelda pounced, pinning Lilith’s hands above her head.

Nearly growling, Lilith’s face blurring as she leaned in, their lips came together, the anxiety causing the kiss to be messy, all teeth and groans. It was sloppy, desperate, and everything they both needed. Lilith pulled back, attempting to free herself and assert dominance, but Zelda held fast, nipping her bottom lip then sucking it into her mouth. She continued to play with her, kissing lightly, increasing the pressure and passion until she felt Lilith’s hips rock against her own. Biting down again as she captured her full lower lip, Zelda met Lilith halfway, then pressed her body against the door hungrily. The brunette’s moan of pain quickly became one of pleasure as Zelda’s tongue swept into her mouth. 

They parted when the need to breathe overtook them, Lilith’s body still tensed as her heart rate soared. Zelda’s free hand pressed between them, settling on her breastbone, the rapid pounding soothed by her gentleness.

“Zelda…” she whispered. “Why do you care for me the way you do? You know I don’t deserve you. I don’t understand…”

“Don’t talk, not now. I don’t need your words now, I need you.”

Letting go of her hands, Zelda deftly began to unbutton Lilith’s soft flannel shirt, and with her hands freed, Lilith buried one in the red mane before her, the other lowering a strap of Zelda’s gown.

Their lips met again, soon eclipsed by Zelda’s need to see Lilith, to taste her soft skin still so strong the redhead thought she was going up in flames.

Lowering her head to the increasingly exposed skin of Lilith’s chest, the brunette groaned at the loss of Zelda’s lips, then slammed her head back against the door, her legs threatening to give way as Zelda took one hardening nipple between her lips. 

“You have to be quiet; we don’t want to wake your daughter.” Zelda lifted her eyes to Lilith’s face, eyes closed, mouth open as she whimpered, every swipe of Zelda’s tongue on her breast causing her noises to increase in volume. 

“It’s --it’s all---your fault,” she panted. “But don’t stop, please, don’t stop.”

Continuing to minister to her now uncovered chest, alternately using teeth then her tongue to soothe each rosy peak, Zelda reached lower, unbuttoning and tugging down Lilith’s jeans, and she lifted her feet to step out of them, revealing a pair of white lacy panties that left little to the imagination.

Kneeling before the now heavily breathing woman, looking up into her glittering eyes, Zelda stroked slowly over the lace, her fingers pressing lightly against her heated center, to Lilith’s gasping delight.

“My, my,” Zelda licked her lips, placing a kiss below Lilith’s belly button, adoringly glancing up towards Lilith’s hooded eyes. “Somebody was prepared for me.”

With a shaking hand, Lilith reached down to shove the remaining strap off Zelda’s shoulder, causing her gown to pool around her waist.

“I’d say we both were ready, wouldn’t you?” she moaned breathlessly. Zelda nodded, placing another kiss on the elastic of her panties, then sinking lower, bypassing Lilith’s now canting hips with a sly grin.

“Zelda….” Lilith groaned loudly.

“Shhhh, let me enjoy this. I want to watch you fall apart.”

Lilith whimpered at that, and Zelda was astonished at the emotions passing over her face. The desire, the need, the love she saw in that darkening blue stare.

Without breaking eye contact, Zelda kissed the inside of Lilith’s knee, her mouth open, sucking on the tender flesh. Try as she might, Lilith’s eyes closed, unable to look into Zelda’s jade gaze any longer, seeming to be lost to the sensations flooding her. She made her way up the sensitive skin of her inner thigh, slowly sinking her teeth into the softness, bringing her ever closer to her goal. 

She felt Lilith’s thighs begin to quiver, so she decided to show mercy instead of prolonging her teasing torture.

When she reached the edge of her lacy panties again, Zelda leaned closer, her lips poised above Lilith’s sensitive center. Eyes on the woman’s face above her, she took Lilith’s hand, lacing their fingers, and lowered her lips, sucking and licking at her through the lace.

Lilith’s other hand reached for something, anything to grasp onto as her legs shook. Her fingers made their way into Zelda’s hair, as she squeezed the hand Zelda held.

“Christ, ohhhhhh” she panted, her moans held back as she bit her lip. “Please, _please_.”

“Please? Sweet Lilith, you don’t have to beg.” Zelda’s warm breath against her caused Lilith’s hips to buck again.

Zelda sat back, tugging her panties down, and Lilith’s fingers scraped her scalp as the tip of her questing tongue traced a path around her clit, slowly moving down, and, sensing Lilith was close, she dipped inside to stroke her inner walls. 

“ _Zelda_ ,” Lilith cried out as she bucked against her seeking mouth, her hips squirming, hands pressed flat against the door. Zelda felt the fluttering around her tongue, quickly replacing her tongue with two fingers, crooking them as she moved in and out. 

She flattened her tongue, stroking meaningfully against her clit again, and the pressure was Lilith’s downfall. Her mouth fell open in a silent scream as she came, her hands again in Zelda’s hair as she worked her through the aftershocks. 

Standing before her, Zelda let her gown pool at her feet, kicking it aside before Lilith wrapped one arm behind her waist. She pulled her closer, kissing her earnestly, the taste of herself causing Lilith to moan again. 

They moved to the bed together, sliding under the blankets as Zelda scooted over and allowed Lilith to lay atop her chest, her heart still pounding and breathing uneven.

Zelda stroked her hair, pressing her lips to the crown of Lilith’s head, kissing her forehead when she leaned back to look into Zelda’s green eyes.

The blue-eyed stare grew misty, emotions Lilith seemed to be fighting passing over her face. Zelda grew worried as the tears spilled out and rolled down her cheeks. Catching them with her thumbs, she lightly swept them away as Lilith pressed closer.

“You’re too good to me, you know,” Lilith choked on the words. 

Wanting to object, to deny it, to sweep it away as she did most kindnesses, Zelda swallowed the ready deflection, continuing to stroke Lilith’s hair. Choking on her words, she pressed on, and Zelda felt tears prick her own eyes.

“After all I’ve put you through, you keep giving. Most people would’ve walked away.”

Zelda hummed at that. “I’m not most people.”

Wrapping an arm around Zelda’s waist, her fingers lightly tracing circles on her lower back, Lilith raised herself up on one elbow, her eyes serious now.

“I was awful to you. I shoved you away when you were drinking and in pain --”

“You had every right to do that, you had your own recovery to think of.” Zelda interrupted.

“That’s no reason to put the distance I put between us.”

Zelda’s gaze held Lilith’s as she stroked the strong plain of her cheek with her thumb, gently caressing her jawline.

“I don’t fault you for that. We were both looking to find our own way, and I was in such a bad place. I'm so sorry you saw me like that, sorry it took me so long to get help. It took me a while to finally see what I was doing to myself. I had to get better for myself.”

“Have you? Gotten better, I mean,” Lilith’s face masked an anxiety now, a fear Zelda thought she’d always had. 

“Six months sober, but that’s only half the tale.” Zelda grinned with pride.

“Your good news, I nearly forgot.” Lilith pushed the loose red strands out of her eyes.

“You are looking at the new district manager for Southern Mississippi. I start after the New Year holidays.”

Lilith’s jaw dropped and she reached out to gather Zelda in her arms, pulling her closer.

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered as Zelda held on. “You deserve all that and more.”

As they moved back to look into each other’s eyes, Zelda took a deep breath and asked the question that had been forcing its way forward since she’d seen Lilith three days beforehand.

“And what about you? I know Brina lives here with you, and that alone tells me about your recovery and where you are in it, but how are you?”

“Zelda, I --” she looked down, biting her lower lip. “I’ve been a coward. There’ve been so many times I’ve wanted to call you, text you, send you a silly meme, but I knew we couldn’t just pick up like nothing had happened.”

“No, you’re completely right.” Zelda laughed at herself. “I say that as we lay in your bed naked as the day we were born, which seems hypocritical. But sex has never been our problem, now has it?”

Lilith chuckled in agreement. “We have always been able to find our way when it comes to well, uh, fucking.”

They both laughed, the tension broken and a sort of ease allowing Zelda to keep going, to ask something that had been on her mind for days. Sheryl had alluded to why Lilith had moved to Pascagoula, but Zelda wanted to hear it for herself.

“So have you found what you were looking for here?” Zelda focused on a spot over Lilith’s shoulder, unsure she wanted to hear the answer, wearing her feelings all over her face. 

Lilith traced patterns on the soft skin of Zelda’s chest as she answered, not meeting Zelda’s eyes either.

“I have decided that Pascagoula is the best place for me. I came back here after you found that heroin in the bathroom. I stopped at Sheryl’s, gathered my stuff, and was gone within an hour. She helped me by asking Bobbie Jo to set up my transfer, and I threw myself on the mercy of the rehab facility where I’d been months before. An old buddy was able to take me in til I got on my feet, and he was kind enough to help me find a place with rules and a curfew until I was able to hold it together myself. I haven’t seen Billy since you rescued me, and I’ve been clean since that night in your apartment. That’s the short version of the story.”

Placing her fingers under Lilith’s chin, Zelda lifted it until she met her gaze. 

“I’m proud of you for so many things, but most of all that you did what was best for you.”

Kissing her again on the forehead, Zelda let her fingers drop and Lilith looked down, sighing against Zelda’s collarbone.

“But you didn’t deserve the way I treated you, the way I reacted after you’d been with your lawyer. Zelda, I’m so sorry. I was such a jealous fool. And I was mostly afraid that once you got your act together you’d think I was too much to take on.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, that hurt. But it’s water under the bridge.”

“And then, when I called you, and you came, you came for me…” Lilith broke again, her tears spilling over. “You could’ve been hurt or worse. I’d have never forgiven myself if that had happened.”

Finding it difficult to think about that night, Zelda drew in a shaky breath.

“That was possibly the most stupid and the most selfless thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve done some stupid things. But I knew you had no other choice or you wouldn’t have called me.”

“You didn’t owe me that selfless act. I was incredibly selfish to call you, and I’m sorry for dragging you into it. I don’t even know how to express to you how very sorry I am for putting you in such harm.”

Zelda’s raspy voice gave away the emotion she still felt. 

“I realized how deeply I cared for you when I was working through it later, how much you meant to me.”

“After all this, you still feel the same way?” Lilith was incredulous.

“Honestly, I forgive you, I do. And yes, I still feel the same way. I adore you.” She lifted the brunette’s chin again, their eyes meeting. “I’m willing to try this together if you are.”

Lilith reached for Zelda’s hand, kissing each finger gently, then intertwining their hands.

“You know, I want to do this the right way this time. We’ve never even had a date, gone out to dinner; hell, we’ve never even taken time for small talk. I don’t know any regular shit about you.” Lilith laughed in a way Zelda had never heard, a lightness and peace to her that hadn’t previously existed between the two of them.

“Well, I’d say you know all the important things. The regular shit you can learn as we go along.”

“That’s true, I can, if you’ll let me.” Lilith’s eyes shone with all the hope she was expressing. “I, well, we, Brina and me, we’re a lot to take on. She loves you already, and I…” She looked down again. “Are you sure you aren’t making a mistake letting me back into your life?”

Zelda sighed, pulling her hand out of Lilith’s to run her fingers through her hair. She’d gone through this very conversation in her mind over and over for the past five months, and she thought she knew exactly what she’d say when she faced Lilith again. But, reality was so much different than the inner arguments she’d held with herself.

“One thing I’ve learned about myself over the past five months is that I’ve never had any idea how to feel my feelings. It was easier to drink them away. You understand that.” Stroking the side of her face again, Zelda felt Lilith relax.

“I surely do, and feelings take a lot out of you.” Lilith leaned into Zelda’s caress, her eyes closing.

“So being sober has been a big adjustment for me. You left when I was just starting out, just learning how to sit with my emotions. My sponsor was a big help; she’s been more like a mama, a priest, a life preserver.” Zelda’s voice went warm describing Mary Grace. “But I had to save myself. I had to do the hard work, just as you did. And for some reason, we couldn’t get ourselves to where we are now together.”

“As much as we wanted to, as much as we wanted each other, it didn’t work between us. Not then.” Lilith’s words held the weight of finality. “But now?”

“Yes,” Zelda whispered. “Now.”

Taking Zelda’s face in her hands, Lilith brought their lips together again. She held back, gently pecking along the seam of Zelda’s lips as a sigh left the redhead’s mouth. 

Zelda laid her head on Lilith’s chest, the house quiet except for a car driving past. She ran her fingers through the fanned curls on the pillow behind Lilith’s head, twisting one around her index finger.

“Brina will be knocking this door down in a few hours; we’d better get some sleep,” Lilith’s voice broke the silence as she leaned down to place a kiss on Zelda’s head.

  
  
  


Zelda awoke later to a tapping on her shoulder. She was lying on her stomach, head turned away from the jumping child next to the bed.

“Miss Zelda, wake up, it’s Christmas!” She heard a small giggling voice behind her and, opening her eyes, she found Lilith sitting on the bed next to her, sipping from a mug of coffee. 

“You could’ve let me put on my clothes,” she murmured, laughing as Lilith lifted the blanket on her side and raised one brow. 

“Merry Christmas, Zelda.” Lilith winked. “I wouldn’t let Brina wake you up when she burst in here a while ago, so we decided to let you sleep a little longer. But this girl wanted to wait to see what Santa left her when you were up, and she couldn’t stand it any longer!”

Rolling over, tugging the blankets up to her chin, she grinned at the two of them. “I am so sorry to have kept you waiting, young lady.”

“Mama said you needed your beauty sleep. I told her that was silly ‘cause you’re already pretty,” Brina leaned down and kissed her cheek, and Zelda pulled the girl closer.

“Now if you two will give me a second I’ll be right out.” Zelda laid in the bed until they both left, thankful Lilith had picked up her gown and panties, laying them on the chair next to the bed. She dressed quickly, trying to make herself look presentable, and walked out to where Lilith was making Brina stand with her eyes closed.

“Okay, she’s here, you can look!” Lilith stood beside Zelda, watching her daughter run from one gift to the next, unable to contain her excitement.

“Mama, Santa left me the Legos I asked for, and a bike! Look, it’s red like I wanted!” 

Watching Brina with her toys, Zelda was overwhelmed. She’d always imagined what it would be like to indulge a child of her own, to watch her experience the magic of Christmas. She sat down on their couch, giving mother and daughter their time to enjoy each other.

Brina ran to her, dumping out a box of Legos at her feet and leaned back on her legs as she found the directions and started putting them together. Zelda ruffled her hair, and Brina turned with a grin.

“Oh we forgot about your present, Miss Zelda!” The child hopped up, dumping the pile of Legos and running to the tree. “Mama, help me!”

They each carried a package, Lilith’s thin and very recognizable, and Brina’s heavier, the girl struggling under the weight.

“Open mine first,” she declared. “Mama said you didn’t have one.”

Zelda tore off the paper to reveal a small turntable, a retro-styled design that would fit perfectly in her apartment. 

“I love it!” She gathered Brina into her arms, rubbing her back and kissing her cheek. “I do need a place to play my records. This is the perfect gift.”

Lilith sat next to her, handing over the present with a soft smile.

Opening it, Zelda didn’t understand the meaning at first. She could tell it was an old vinyl, an original, but looking closer, she put her hand to her mouth.

“You didn’t! Where did you find this?” She held up an original copy of the Elvis song “Flaming Star”. 

“I have my ways,” Lilith said slyly.

Zelda put the gifts down and reached for the both of them, pulling them both close. Brina squirmed away, sitting back on the floor to play with her Legos again. 

“You remember? That first night when I saw you outside. I was staring at the sky, trying not to stare at you and failing. I saw that star and when you picked right up on the lyrics, I knew you were something special.” Lilith leaned in and kissed her lightly.

“I do remember, and it seems we had the same thought.” Zelda brought the two gifts she had laid under the tree, handing Lilith hers first. 

Untying the tulle from the bag, Lilith brought out the small gold embossed box. She smiled as she pulled off the lid, revealing a tiny gold star on a delicate chain. Taking it out of the box, she put it on, clasping it behind her neck, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

Leaning over, Zelda whispered, “Too bad they didn’t have a pineapple.”

They both laughed until tears did run down their faces, Brina looking at them strangely until she noticed another gift in Zelda’s lap.

“Is that for me?” she asked innocently, much to Lilith’s chagrin.

“Yes, darling, this one’s for you,” Zelda handed it to her and she ripped into it, holding up the red-nosed reindeer, then clasping it to her chest as it played “Rudolph” again and again.

Lilith’s eyes shot daggers at Zelda, who burst into laughter again.

“That reindeer might have to go back to Gulfport, little lady. I don’t know if mama has the patience to deal with him,” Zelda said as Lilith joined her. 

“Only if I can visit him. Mama, can we go visit Miss Zelda sometime?”

Scooting closer to where Zelda sat back on the couch, Lilith curled into her side. 

“Baby, I think Rudolph is going to be seeing a lot of you.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And when they happened to work at the same time, when they both could be present in the small house, they filled in the missing gaps of the last months, cooking side by side, cleaning up after a rambunctious Brina, and taking a group trip to the Round Island Lighthouse. Hilda would have laughed at Zelda’s bliss, telling her she was just “playing house”, that the reality of the situation would soon hit, and she wasn’t all wrong. Zelda knew things would change when she started her new job, but she thought that would be for the better.

_some people quit drinking too much_

_and some people quit lying_

_some people decide to grow up_

_but it's never good timing_

_most wouldn't forgive_

_what I put you through_

_but I'm here tonight_

_hoping some people do_

_-some people do- old dominion_

  
  


The days between Christmas and New Year, normally busy at the store, Zelda spent in a hazy bubble they’d created for themselves: Lilith, Brina, and her. She couldn’t bring herself to leave them, so she’d driven back to Gulfport to work, to deal with the craziness of after Christmas shoppers, return home for fresh clothes, only to make the 45 minute drive back to Pascagoula.

When their shifts didn’t overlap, Zelda was happy to spend time with Brina alone, thrilled that Lilith trusted her to look after her greatest treasure. The little girl was nothing but a joy, and her endless chatter about animals, the Legos she wanted to create, and the books she was reading was music to Zelda’s ears.

And when they happened to work at the same time, when they both could be present in the small house, they filled in the missing gaps of the last months, cooking side by side, cleaning up after a rambunctious Brina, and taking a group trip to the Round Island Lighthouse. Hilda would have laughed at Zelda’s bliss, telling her she was just “playing house”, that the reality of the situation would soon hit, and she wasn’t all wrong. Zelda knew things would change when she started her new job, but she thought that would be for the better.

Lilith had agreed to Brina’s daddy taking her for a few days at New Year, but since he could only take two days away from his own job, he was staying in Pascagoula, taking his daughter with him to a motel so he could have some one on one time with the child he hadn’t seen in months.

Secretly Zelda was thrilled to bits to have Lilith all to herself on New Year’s Eve. She wanted a quiet night, and the brunette had agreed; time together was precious and they didn’t need to share it at a party filled with other people.

Bobbie Jo’s brows shot into her hairline when she invited Zelda to her annual New Year’s Eve barbeque and bonfire only to have her look wistfully away, saying she already had other plans. 

“But you always come,” she said with a suspicious glance. “You and your handsome fella.”

A pang of guilt passed through Zelda at the ongoing ruse she’d kept up at putting off telling Bobbie Jo they were divorced. She resolved she’d sit Bobbie Jo down and tell her the truth before she left work that day.

The woman interrupted her thoughts with a twist of her long braid and a sympathetic sigh. 

“I suppose I should tell you this, you know, as your friend.” Her hesitant voice did not match the gleam in her eye.

Zelda glanced up from her paperwork to meet Bobbie Jo’s eyes.

“Go on, what is it you need to tell me?” She’d been in this position before, except it had been someone else’s business Bobbie Jo had expounded to her, workplace gossip she’d insisted Zelda needed to know because she was “the boss”, even when Zelda had expressed disinterest, had walked away from her, Bobbie Jo would follow to spill the news she could barely contain. But it seemed Zelda was the subject of today’s scandal.

“I didn’t want to spread rumors and all, but I did see your man with a young girl on his arm right here in the store. Lots of people were talking about it.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Zelda stood to lean on the front of her desk, crossing her legs at the ankle, curling her toes in the newest pair of Nine West pumps she’d bought.

“I suppose I should have been more upfront with you,” she looked toward the shorter woman, whose face was alight now, leaning forward to catch the latest news. “Faustus and I have been divorced for several months.”

“What?!?” Bobbie Jo’s exclamation could have shattered glass. “Not you two!?”

Zelda nodded. “Yes, he went his way and I went mine.” She hoped her tone closed the book on the conversation, and simultaneously knew everyone would be privy to it by the time the day was out.

Bobbie Jo brightened after recovering from her shock. “At least you’ll have more free time. Maybe we can go out like we used to, hit some of the old haunts and have some fun. I could use me a pina colada right now.”

Feeling like this was a time for honesty and openness, Zelda told her of her vow of sobriety and how she felt one drink would lead her in the wrong direction. “So if we do go out, it had better be the Applebee’s instead of our favorite bar.” She hoped beyond hope Bobbie Jo would let it drop now that she knew the truth.

Disappointedly incredulous, Bobbie Jo cocked her head as if seeing Zelda for the first time.

“Come to think of it, you do seem really different lately. New clothes, new hair, and here I was thinking it was the new job.”

Zelda barely contained her eye roll as she picked up her phone, heading for the door to walk around the store as she normally did before her shift ended.

“You already got a new man, don’t you? I can tell these things.” 

A loud burst of laughter escaped Zelda, and Bobbie Jo took that as an affirmation.

“I knew it! Nobody fancies up like you’ve done ‘cept for when they found somebody new. Congrats, I guess. Maybe you can bring him around sometime.”

“Hmmm.” Zelda’s only response as she closed the office door behind her, filing away this conversation to recall later when she saw Lilith.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, reminding her that Frank, the man whose job she was taking over was due any minute. She planned to get more details about the position so she felt prepared to take over after January 1st.

She met him at the back door as he entered, and they reintroduced themselves. Walking ahead of him as she led him to the conference room they were using to work, he seemed too close for comfort, so she slowed to walk by his side, leaving some distance between them.

When they reached the door, he opened it, standing slightly in her way so she was forced to brush past him as she entered the room. Five minutes into his visit she was remembering why she had taken a dislike to him when they’d met previously.

“So it’s Spellman, now?” His first attempt at conversation seemed to be inquiring about her last name and marital status. “Wasn’t it Blackwood?”

“Yes, Spellman.” She kept her focus on the documents before her, the display blueprints for the upcoming season and marketing strategies she’d come up with herself.

“Back on the market?” Zelda cringed at his sloppy attempt at a pick up line. “I divorced my wife last year. Getting back into the dating scene has been sorta fun. You tried any of those dating apps?”

Leveling her gaze with his, Zelda took a deep breath, remembering he was here to help her, and that he would essentially be her superior in a matter of weeks.

“I’m not really interested in “getting back out there” quite yet. Now if we can focus our attention on these blueprints, I think I have an idea that will work well in our store as well as the one in ---” 

“Well, you’re certainly a fine looking woman. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble lining up your share of men in no time.” She glanced up again as he not so subtly locked his eyes on the open buttons of the blouse she wore as she leaned over the forms on the table. “Keep me in mind when you are ready to date again.”

Barely concealing an eye roll, Zelda sat back, buttoning her blouse.

“Listen, Frank, as much as I’m sure you think some women would appreciate this attention, that’s not what we’re here for. I’m going to be far too busy adjusting to this job and trying to keep my head above water for the foreseeable future, so can we just get down to business?”

He seemed put off and grumpy at that, but after a few strokes of his ego, Zelda was able to get him back on track. He gave her lots of pointers, telling her how to approach each store manager to affect the changes corporate wanted. She had to laugh as he described each one and their prickly ways when it came to giving up an inch of control when it came to their particular store.

“You mean to tell me I’m not the only one who gets aggravated when I’m asked to move departments around every few weeks?” 

He laughed with her. “Oh no ma’am, y’all are all cut from the same cloth, but I suppose you wouldn’t have your position if you weren’t a bit of a control freak.”

The afternoon passed quickly, and Frank was soon on his way.

Zelda retrieved her bag and headed for the door. Lilith had worked a day shift and they were to spend the evening together, the last one before Adam arrived to take Brina for the next few days.

Dropping by her apartment, she repacked her overnight bag, quickly giving her plants some much needed attention and getting on the road for Pascagoula.

Her busy days hadn’t left much time for an AA meeting lately, so she dialed Mary Grace as she drove, feeling like she needed a moment to check in after the day she’d had.

Answering on the third ring, the woman’s cheerful voice soothed Zelda immediately.

“Hey there, darlin’! How’s everything goin’?”

Having never felt comfortable talking about her feelings, it always took Zelda a moment to warm up to letting go, finally spilling out what bothered her after Mary Grace’s gentle prodding. 

She cleared her throat, swallowing the lump that had formed when thinking of the shame she felt about not sharing about Lilith earlier to Bobbie Jo, not being more aggressive when Frank blatantly tried coming on to her.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Mary Grace said when Zelda didn’t answer.

“Nothing, nothing really,” Zelda’s answer was high-pitched and strained.

“How was work today? Are you wrapping things up there? Only one more day, right?”

“Mmmhmm. Yeah, it was really productive today. I’m ready to turn in my paperwork allowing Bobbie Jo to take over as manager. She’s still nervous and high strung every time I bring it up, but she’ll do a good job.”

“Of course she will, you trained her well. Are you feeling a little homesick already? Maybe nervous yourself at taking on so much more responsibility while trying to start up this new thing with your girl and her daughter?”

Her vision suddenly blurring, Zelda wiped at her eyes as she drove.

“It’s a lot to take on, Zelda. Anyone would feel overwhelmed.”

Gripping the steering wheel, Zelda took a shaky breath. 

“I don’t think I handled things well today, Mary Grace. I’m embarrassed now and wished I could have said and done things differently.”

Never one to try to devalue Zelda’s feelings, Mary Grace sat quietly and let her talk, waiting for her to explain.

“I finally told Bobbie Jo about Faustus and I being divorced today when she invited me to her New Year’s Eve party. I told her I wasn’t drinking anymore, and she seemed disappointed. She said she’d noticed a change in me lately. And her first assumption was that I had a new man. I didn’t tell her differently. Why didn’t I just say I was seeing Lilith? Bobbie Jo is my friend. Why wasn’t I honest with her?” Zelda berated herself, swiping again at her eyes.

“Are you feeling bad you weren’t honest about your divorce sooner or that Lilith is a woman? Is Bobbie Jo an accepting person?”

The question gave Zelda pause, thinking a moment before she answered.

“The divorce part doesn’t bother me as much. Bobbie Jo had already seen Faustus with another woman and put two and two together. So I guess I didn’t feel comfortable explaining about Lilith. Does this mean I am ashamed of her?”

“Only you can answer that, but do you feel like Bobbie Jo would have judged you somehow for not dating a man?”

Zelda thought back, remembering off color jokes about gay people Zelda had brushed off, “innocent” comments Bobbie Jo had made about employees who, to her, were obviously homosexual. 

“Yeah,” she concluded. “Yeah, she’s not as open and accepting as you are.”

“Well, then, she can go to hell,” Mary Grace said in her matter of fact voice.

They shared a laugh, Zelda bursting out at Mary Grace’s uncharacteristic use of profanity. 

“She never has to know about you two. You live in different cities, for the most part, and your paths will probably never cross. And if they do, you’ll know how to handle it. People like that are the type of friends to sometimes fall away when we improve ourselves and make better choices.”

“You’re right, the only time I’ll see her anymore is when I’m visiting the Gulfport store, we don’t have to see each other socially anymore. I can keep it all business then.”

“Good for you, okay? You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life choices.”

Nodding her head, feeling much better now that she’d shared her burden, Zelda told her about Frank and his flirtatious ways.

“Men are so dumb sometimes, aren’t they?” Mary Grace deadpanned, and Zelda had to laugh again. “We have to play along with their little games on occasion, but don’t you let that man push you into anything. He’s bordering on sexual harassment as it is.”

“No ma’am, I sure won’t. I’ve been a part of this boy’s club long enough to know how much line to let out before I reel it back in. He thinks he’s got the upper hand when in reality he’ll never see the likes of me on a date with him.”

“Thatta girl. Now tell me what you, Lilith and Brina have gotten yourselves up to these past few days.” Mary Grace sounded like she was sitting in her favorite chair, watching the birds in her yard as the sun went down, a cool breeze blowing through her backyard.

Zelda recalled their adventures and Mary Grace praised her attempts to repair the damaged relationship, and reminded her of all the progress she’d made the past months.

“Things are looking up for you, Zelda, hold on to that. And don’t let the bastards get you down. I read that somewhere.” The woman’s deep laugh stayed with Zelda after they hung up and she was driving into the familiar little neighborhood.

A strange car was parked in front of Lilith’s house, and Zelda noticed the Tennessee tags. As soon as she took her phone from the console, she noticed a text had come through from Lilith.

_Adam is a day early. He was able to get someone to cover his shift. He’ll be at the house when you get there. Be home soon. xo - L_

She had her own key since she had stayed with Brina a few nights, so she slid it in the keyhole to find it unlocked. Dropping her bag by the door, she squatted down to Brina’s height when she caught the child’s eye.

“Zelda!” Brina jumped up from the floor where she had been putting together a large Lego set, running to wrap herself around Zelda’s neck.

“Hey baby,” Zelda kissed her cheek, looking over her shoulder at the man still seated on the floor, eyeing her closely.

When Brina released her, she stood and walked over to him, extending her hand politely. 

“Hi, I’m Zelda Spellman,” she introduced herself with a smile. “You must be Adam. Lilith told me you’d be here.”

He stood and took her hand, gripping it then letting it drop, looking her up and down.

“Yeah, I’m Adam Masters, Sabrina’s father.” He placed a hand around the girl’s shoulders as he spoke. “Lilith told me you’d be stopping by.”

_Stopping by?_ she thought. Furrowing her brow momentarily, Zelda recovered, moving to sit in a chair on the opposite side of the room. 

“So where did you meet Lilith?” Adam asked as he sat back down, pulling Brina into his lap.

Zelda smiled again at that memory. 

“We were actually neighbors until the hurricane destroyed her trailer, but she also worked at my store before she moved back to Pascagoula.”

“She told me she worked in frozen foods with a girl she knew well, but something tells me that’s not you.” He laughed a little as he took in her appearance.

“Uh, no. I’m actually the manager of the Gulfport store. She and I got to know each other while she was there.”

“So I guess you’re aware of all the trouble she’s had in the past?” Adam’s matter of fact statement took her off guard and she struggled to answer him.

“Y-yes, I think I know what you’re referring to. She’s come a long way though. I’m really proud of her.” Her look of pride she felt for Lilith wouldn’t be dimmed by his strange demeanor. 

The conversation died after that, and Zelda looked at her watch, silently hoping Lilith was on her way. She tapped her foot nervously.

After a few minutes, Zelda tried to rid the room of the deafening silence even Brina seemed to sense, attempting to engage him again.

“I’m sure Brina was happy you were able to come for an extra day.” 

Her words were met with a mild smile from the man who barely glanced her way, but Brina chimed right in, explaining how excited she was that her daddy was taking her to the aquarium back in Gulfport and the zoo in Biloxi while he was visiting.

“And Mama will be excited too ‘cause it’ll give you and her some more ‘lone time, right, Zelda?” Brina’s chipper little comment seemed to infuriate the man further, his eyes narrowing as he looked on Zelda again. 

“Yes, Brina, it will give us more time, but we will miss you.” Zelda answered simply. 

“You can be here when I get back home unless you have to go back to your town to a meeting like Mama does sometimes. Do you hafta leave before I get back?” 

Her big blue eyes met Zelda’s expectantly, but then she looked over the child’s head to Adam whose gaze had gone decidedly darker.

The door suddenly opened, and Zelda breathed a sigh of relief. Adam now fixed his gaze upon Lilith as she entered, and her eyes darted back and forth between him and Zelda.

“Adam, you found the place okay?” He nodded, fishing a key out of his pocket and handing it to her.

She walked to Sabrina first, leaning down to give her daughter a kiss. 

“Hey baby girl, how was your day? Did Daddy surprise you when he picked you up from DayCamp?” She looked back to give Zelda a warm smile.

“I had fun today, then Daddy came and took me to lunch and the park. Then we came here and played Legos until Zelda just came.” Brina grinned as Lilith kissed her cheek again.

Lilith made her way to Zelda’s side, sitting on the arm of the chair. Zelda turned toward her with a forced smile, and Lilith’s eyes widened as she leaned down to kiss her. 

Adam finally spoke from his place on the floor.

“Lilith, can I speak to you privately?”

Making a puzzled face, Lilith responded with a nod, then led the way to her bedroom, closing the door behind them.

“Zelda, will you help me with this piece? It doesn’t fit here where the instructions say it should go.” Brina patted the spot on the floor next to her.

“I’d be glad to, honey.” Zelda settled herself on the floor, stretching her legs out in front of her as she kicked off her heels.

Taking the instructions from Brina, Zelda read about the section Brina was working on, but her mind was on what was happening behind that door. It was quiet, but all of sudden she heard voices raised. 

_“She’s my daughter too! Lil, How could you have another addict around her like this?”_

Zelda’s protective instincts kicked in then. “Brina, why don’t you go into your room and play on your tablet right now? We can finish this later.”

“Okay, can I read a book?” Brina asked.

“Definitely. Read that one you like so much about the puppy.”

Brina grinned then went inside and flopped on her bed, so Zelda quietly closed the door behind her.

She moved closer to the bedroom door, sitting next to the kitchen on the barstool facing the counter.

_“You’re going to have to trust me sometime, Adam. I’ve made mistakes, but so have you! You seem to forget we had one date which resulted in me getting pregnant. We share a child and nothing else.”_

_“Mistakes! Is that what you call getting arrested?”_

_“Look, I’m sorry you had to be mama and daddy for six months. I’m sorry you had to do more than send a check and see her every other weekend, but it was that or ask my family to take her and that was the LAST thing I wanted for my baby.”_

_“Brina says you’re back going to meetings again. Have you relapsed again?”_

_“Meetings are my salvation and they always will be. But I’m better now and Brina’s with me. And so is Zelda. I did have a setback about six months ago, yes. I made some bad choices. Do you know who was there for me, who saved me physically? Zelda was. She's the kindest person I know. Brina loves her, Adam. She’s the best thing that’s happened to us in a long time.”_

Zelda felt like she was intruding, but she was worried about not being ready to intervene if she needed to.

_“How can you trust her like this if she’s an alcoholic? What if she does something to hurt our daughter?”_

Her blood ran cold at those words. Tears filled her eyes at the thought that she could be the cause of Brina being hurt because of a poor choice she made.

“ _The same way you trust me with her. Yeah, she could make a bad decision, but there’s something in me that tells me she’d die before she’d do anything to hurt our baby. I just sense that in her. Give her a chance, Adam. I want her in my life. I need her by my side.”_

Unable to hear his low response, Zelda moved back to the chair she’d been sitting in earlier. The tears she’d been holding back spilled over, but she wiped quickly at her eyes as the bedroom door opened.

Lilith exited first, coming to Zelda’s side again and taking her hand. 

“I sent Brina to her room to read her puppy book. Y’all got a bit heated there for a second,” Zelda whispered to her, leaning her head against Lilith’s side.

“Did you hear any of it? I’m sorry he’s acting like this.”

“I don’t blame him, Lilith. He’s right in his concern for me being around her. I am an alcoholic, and there’s always that danger hovering over me.”

Lilith knelt on the floor in front of the chair, taking both of Zelda’s hands in hers.

“And I’m an addict. We are who we are. We’re also two people who love that little girl like life itself. And I hope we care enough about ourselves and each other to stay clean. We were alone before, but we have each other to rely on now, to hold up, to depend on.”

Adam walked back into the room holding Brina and her small suitcase.

“Listen, Zelda, this is small house and you probably heard all that. I’m a protective guy. I love this little girl, that’s all. But Lil’s right, I need to give you a chance before I condemn you.”

“I understand. That’s a precious little angel you have. I’d do the same thing in your place because I love her too.” 

Sighing, he hugged Brina to him and asked if she was ready to go.

She squirmed to get down, running to give her mama a kiss, and Lilith whispered something in her ear that made her grin widely. 

“Zelda,” she said as she reached up to hug her tightly. “I love you this much…” She stretched out her arms as wide as she could, and then folded both women into a hug together.

“And I love you, baby,” Zelda whispered back. “Now go have fun with your daddy.”

After more hugs and kisses, daddy and daughter finally left.

Lilith shook her head and pulled Zelda closer, their lips meeting gently.

“Finally alone, what shall we do with all this time, just the two of us?” Lilith murmured, tugging off Zelda’s jacket and unzipping her skirt.

“Not sure, but in the immortal words of the sexiest woman I know: Want to fuck?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m glad you were there for our baby, Zelda.” she continued her assault on the patch of skin, and Zelda moaned softly as her teeth gently sunk in, followed by the soothing rasp of her tongue. “Have I told you how much I love you for the little things you do for us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a firm believer that childhood teasing is harmful. it's detrimental and leads to kids hating school and having a negative self-image, especially when the adults they depend on to help them ignore it. As Zelda says in this chapter - words really do have consequences.

_The sun sets like a tangerine  
Let's find a road we've never seen  
Don't waste another mile or a minute not kissin' me  
Life is short, make it sweet _

_-make it sweet - old dominion_

Sitting in her third meeting of the day, Zelda didn’t mind the interruption of her phone. The manager of the Biloxi SuperWalmart was arguing about moving the cat food aisle for the second time in a month, and while she couldn’t blame his irritation, she wished he’d realize the inevitable nature of it and go on.

_Jackson Elementary School_ registered on the caller ID, Brina’s school. Her heart dropped to her stomach as she excused herself to walk outside of the room to answer.

“Hello?” the anxiety she felt registered in her voice. 

“Hello, this is Alva Cherry, principal of Jackson Elementary, to whom am I speaking?”

“This is Zelda Spellman. Is something wrong with Sabrina?”

“You are the Zelda Spellman who is listed on Sabrina Masters’ contact sheet?” Zelda could hear tapping on a keyboard.

“Yes, yes, her mother recently added me as a contact for Sabrina in case she’s unavailable. Is something wrong with Sabrina?” Her anxiety was rapidly becoming annoyance.

“Well, ma’am, I have Sabrina here in my office. I have decided to suspend her for the rest of the day and tomorrow. Is there any way you can come and pick her up?”

Still having a call to make to the Gulfport store, Zelda looked at her watch, juggling meetings and obligations in her mind.

“Yes, I can come and get her. I’m in Biloxi so it will be a few minutes. What’s wrong? Is she hurt?”

“I’m not at liberty to discuss anything related to the student with anyone other than her legal guardians. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, I understand privacy laws, but can you at least let me know that she’s uninjured?” 

The principal assured her Sabrina was fine and would be waiting in her office, and Zelda disconnected.

Her mind whirling at what could have happened, she quickly ended her meeting, setting up a time for a conference call the next day, and texting Bobbie Jo to let her know she wouldn’t be coming that afternoon.

Hurrying to her car, she sped onto Highway 90, pushing her luck as she flew past a state trooper otherwise engaged in giving another motorist a speeding ticket.

A text came through from Lilith followed right behind by a call.

“Zelda, are you on the way to Brina’s school? I’m so sorry to bother you in the middle of your day with this.” Zelda heard voices in the distance, and Lilith called back that she was taking a break. “They called me but no one could cover for me so I could leave.”

“No, no it’s no bother at all. This is why you added me to be able to pick her up. What did the principal tell you when she called?”

“Nothing really other than Brina had sent another kid to the nurse. I’m so upset with that girl right now. This isn’t how I’ve raised her to behave.” Lilith’s voice echoed off the walls of the bathroom stall. 

“Sent another child to the nurse? Brina _hurt_ another child?! What in the world.” Zelda watched for her exit as she wracked her brain, thinking if Brina’s behavior had been different, remembering how she’d gone to bed early the last few nights, refusing a bedtime story because she was tired. “She’s been so quiet lately.”

“She has been kind of withdrawn now that you mention it. I just thought it was the adjustment of my new schedule, and how we’re not around in the mornings like we used to be.”

Both women were up and gone before Brina’s school bus came, so a sitter had been arranged for the mornings. Lilith had switched to day shifts so that she was home with Brina each night. Still working on her business degree, Zelda had set up an office in the third bedroom of Lilith’s tiny house where she studied and completed her classwork. She had adjusted her schedule so that she was able to pick up Brina from school each day, helping her with her homework and listening to her excited ramblings about her day.

Zelda cherished these times, and while she was busier than ever she and Lilith somehow made it work. Four months had flown by since she’d reunited with the brunette, and Brina’s Spring Break arrived in a few weeks. They’d planned a trip to Atlanta with Brina as their tour guide. The girl had planned all the sights she wanted to see, and talked incessantly of the Atlanta Zoo having learned they had pandas straight from China. 

“It can’t be helped, Lilith. You know I love being able to pick her up in the afternoons, but there was no way to fit it all in without sacrificing something. Mrs. Davis is only with her for an hour until the bus comes.”

“All I know is she has some explaining to do, and fast. She can’t get into fights, Zelda.” She heard water running, then Lilith pushing open the bathroom door. 

“I know I’ve only known her a few months, and I’m not her mother but…” Zelda began.

“Don’t do that, don’t ever play down what you are to her and to me. She’s as close to you as she is anybody. You sensed something was wrong too.” Lilith interrupted her. 

Sighing, Zelda continued. “I was just going to say that maybe you and I moved too fast. Maybe I’ve been spending too much time with you and she feels left out.”

“As my mama would say, don’t put the cart before the horse. We don’t know what’s wrong, but I can bet it has nothing to do with you and me. Let’s wait until we can talk to her, okay?”

“Okay,” Zelda drove into the parking lot of the school, gliding into a spot. “I’m going inside the school now. Call you when I’ve got our girl safe and sound?”

“Yes, please do. Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out. Together.” Zelda could hear the love in Lilith’s voice. 

“Right, together. Bye, love.” 

They disconnected, and Zelda stepped out of her car, taking a deep breath to prepare herself for what she might face.

Pushing open the tinted glass door, she approached the partition that divided the lobby and the receptionist’s desk. The woman behind the plexiglass smiled and pointed toward the computer screen.

“Sign in and show me your ID.” She said robotically.

Fumbling for her driver’s license, she typed in her name and clicked on Brina’s picture when it popped up. A sticker printed out and Zelda handed both to the woman. 

“Sign the sticker and put it on, then I’ll buzz you in. Your little girl is waiting in Mrs. Cherry’s office right behind me.”

The door to the principal’s office was open and Zelda could see Brina slumped in a chair, apparently having fallen asleep waiting for her to arrive. She knelt in front of the little girl, tugging down the front of her denim dress that was splattered with blood.

“Brina,” she whispered as she lightly shook her knees. “Baby, wake up.”

Smoothing the hair back from her face, Zelda saw the tear streaks down her cheeks as her blue eyes slowly opened and registered who was in front of her.

“Zee,” she whimpered, wrapping herself around Zelda’s neck. She immediately felt the girl’s tears falling onto the high collar of her dress, and she picked her up, holding her close and rubbing her back.

The principal watched the whole exchange from behind her desk, standing to hand Zelda Brina’s backpack and lunchbox.

“It’s funny, the ones that get into fights normally see me at least once before it comes to blows. I don’t even remember seeing her at all.”

Zelda nodded. “She’s not a troublemaker. I can’t imagine what led to this, but her mother and I will get to the bottom of it, I assure you.”

“I hope so. Didn’t you tell me you were recently added to her contact list?” the woman inquired.

Trying to balance Brina’s things while shifting the girl over to her hip, Zelda managed a yes. She slung the backpack over her shoulder and grabbed the lunchbox and her own bag. “Why do you ask?”

“Perhaps you’ll be a more positive influence then. Sabrina obviously hasn’t been shown how to deal with her emotions quite yet, and you seem like a woman who could teach her that.”

Eyes narrowing, Zelda seethed internally, but kept her cool as she addressed the bureaucrat. “As opposed to her mother, you mean?”

“I-I didn’t mean to offend you. You just seem like a successful woman, and I only meant that she could learn a lot from someone like you.”

Mustering all the tact she could, Zelda let out a slow breath.

“You’re certainly making many assumptions, Mrs. Cherry, was it?” She enunciated every syllable succinctly. 

The woman nodded, unaware of Zelda’s inner fury.

“I would remind you that this child is _five years old._ No five year old can control their outbursts completely. Perhaps you should look into what provoked this, because this particular five year old would never arbitrarily punch another child unless something had precipitated it. Now, about Sabrina having never been “shown how to deal with her emotions”, I’d say you may want to refresh yourself in child psychology, because you clearly have no idea how to teach a child how to deal with their feelings, otherwise we wouldn’t be sitting here now. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

With as much dignity as she could manage with a crying child on her shoulder and a Lego backpack over the other arm, Zelda marched out of the front of the school.

Leaning against her car, she dropped the bags on the ground and pulled the quietly crying Brina tighter to her.

“It’s okay, baby, let’s go home. We can read your puppy book and go for a walk before Mama comes home. Does that sound good?”

Sabrina nodded against her neck and let go, climbing down and into the back seat, buckling herself into the booster seat.

Zelda sent Lilith a text letting her know Brina was with her. _I lost my temper on her principal, but I don't regret it._

Keeping her eyes on the child in the rear view mirror, Zelda turned on some quiet music Lilith used in Brina’s room to settle her before bed sometimes. The girl’s head had begun to droop again as they pulled into the driveway.

They walked inside, Zelda changing her clothes into something suitable for a walk, then found Brina already pulling on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. She got a cloth and sat on the girl’s bed, lifting her onto her lap as she wiped her tear streaked face gently.

Silently she gathered the loose curls back into the little braids Lilith had plaited earlier, kissing her forehead as she finished. 

“Book first or walk?” she asked, holding the girl’s chin in her hand.

“Walk. Can I get some bread for the geese?” her little voice was still strained by her crying and it was all Zelda could do but not cry herself as she nodded, seeing a brief smile cross Brina’s face.

A few moments later they were walking along, Brina swinging the bag of stale bread in one hand and holding Zelda’s fingers in her other one.

Zelda stole looks at the child out of the corner of her eye, deciding to give her time to come to her with whatever had driven her to hit the other child earlier.

“Zee?”

“Yes, honey?”

“What’s a drug addict?”

_Here we go,_ Zelda thought.

“It means you’ve taken drugs and your body has a hard time doing what it needs to do every day unless you have drugs again.” 

She kept her answer simple and didn’t interrogate any farther.

“Is Mama a drug addict?”

Considering how her answer might shift her perception of her mother greatly, Zelda decided to put it back on Brina.

“What do you think?”

Furrowing her brow, looking like a tiny replica of Lilith, Brina seemed to be thinking hard about the implication of her reply.

“She goes to meetings still. And the meetings are for people who used to take drugs. But she’s with you now, and you want her to do better too. So I don’t think she is anymore.”

Zelda filed that away thinking this was a conversation Lilith would want to tackle later. _Once an addict, always an addict,_ Mary Grace had mentioned once, and it made sense. Though it wasn’t for her to declare to a baby about her Mama.

“What about you? Are you a drug addict?”

They stopped by the pond that bordered Lilith’s subdivision and the next, Canadian geese swimming circles in the center. 

“You could say that. I had a problem with drinking too much. But I’ve gotten better, like Mama has.”

Brina seemed satisfied with that answer, taking bread out of the bag and throwing on the ground then stepping back, the birds getting closer as she walked away.

Her eyes fixed on the ground, Brina’s lip started to tremble as Zelda watched her. 

She choked on her words as they finally spilled out.

“I didn’t mean to hit him, Zee, but he made me so mad. Joey said Mama was nothin' but a nasty drug addict and that I didn’t deserve to go to Mrs. Hicks’s class 'cause I’m as dumb as she is. He said it over and over, and Mrs. Watkins never heard him. I told him to stop but he wouldn’t. Then I punched him so he would stop. Mrs. Watkins heard him crying and came to our table then. She was so mad at me.”

“Brina, he shouldn’t have said those ugly things about your mama. That was wrong.” She wrapped her arms around Zelda’s legs.

Scooping up Brina, Zelda held her close, whispering to her as the girl’s sobs poured out. She heard a car behind them and glanced over to see Lilith getting out. Her eyes went wide at the sight of her sobbing daughter, and she gently took her from Zelda’s arms.

Wrapping her arm around the two of them, Zelda helped them get into the Jeep, then she drove so Lilith could comfort Brina. She whispered into the girl’s ear words that Zelda couldn’t make out, but she heard Brina’s muffled reply as she buried her face in Lilith’s shirt.

“I’m sorry, Mama, I’m sorry I was bad.”

“Baby, no. You aren’t bad, not at all.” Lilith kissed the top of her head.

When they arrived home, Lilith took her little girl inside, putting her into the bathtub where she could play, filling the tub with bubbles until she seemed more calm. Sitting on the edge of the tub, she stroked the wet curls covering the girl’s head, and Zelda remembered her dress. She found it on the bedroom floor, and decided to try to do something helpful while Lilith dealt with Brina.

“Zelda?” She soon heard Lilith calling her name.

She found Zelda by the washing machine spraying the tiny blood-streaked dress, rubbing it angrily when the stains wouldn’t come out.

“Did she talk to you yet?” Zelda glanced up when she felt Lilith’s arms wrap around her from behind.

“No, I left her playing with her toy boat you bought her in a bubble bath. She was singing the Duck song and giggling when the bubbles went up her nose.” She laid her head on Zelda’s shoulder. “Good thing she’s able to bounce back so fast because I’m not over it.”

Zelda turned around, leaning back on the washing machine as she pulled Lilith closer, the brunette’s head still resting on her shoulder.

“She was filling me in as she fed the geese at the lake. Seems that the little boy she hit had some unkind things to say and she took care of him.”

Lifting her head up, Lilith looked at Zelda in surprise.

“He was calling her names? I’m shocked she’d hit him for that. Her normal response would be a fast ‘shut up’ and walk away. All this over some unkind words?”

“She was defending you, love. The things he said were about you.” Zelda said gently, and Lilith stiffened in her arms.

“Me? What in this world would a five year old have to say about me?”

“Seems like he knew an awful lot about you according to Brina. About your addiction.”

Lilith backed away, anger written on her features.

“But how? Unless….no, that can’t be it.”

“What, what happened?” Zelda asked.

“Remember that special class I told you they wanted to put her in?”

Zelda nodded, thinking back to their conversation and how advanced Brina was when she started school.

“She told me Joey was going too, but then he stopped and she didn’t know why.”

“Hmmmm, I’m sure that didn’t please anyone in his house.”

Lilith seemed to be considering all that had occurred. “Has she ever complained about Joey picking on her?”

“She didn’t mention if this had happened before today, but she had gotten into the car crying once or twice, but she just claimed she fell. This time she said no matter how much she asked he wouldn’t stop repeating the same ugly thing, and Mrs. Watkins didn’t hear anything until Joey began to cry.”

Sighing, Lilith leaned into Zelda, their bodies melding together. Zelda breathed in the jasmine shampoo Lilith liked, and she kissed the top of her head, the relaxed sigh from the brunette her reward.

Her voice muffled into Zelda’s neck, Lilith placed her lips at a pulse point, the velvety warmth of her skin smooth under her lips.

“I’m glad you were there for our baby, Zelda.” she continued her assault on the patch of skin, and Zelda moaned softly as her teeth gently sunk in, followed by the soothing rasp of her tongue. “Have I told you how much I love you for the little things you do for us?”

Whimpering as Lilith’s hands lifted the hem of her shirt, fingers trailing up to the edge of her lace bra, skimming under the wire at the bottom, Zelda breathed, “Not today you haven’t, but you’re doing a good job of showing me.”

Zelda’s hands on each side of Lilith’s waist, their hips rocked together as their lips met, a slow dance to nowhere, a teasing few moments that would only lead to much more later that night, but as Lilith’s teasing fingers slipped under the wire of her bra, Zelda broke away from her mouth to groan as she tweaked her nipple.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” Lilith whispered reverently, watching as Zelda’s eyes closed with the pleasure she was experiencing. 

“Mama, Zee! I’m ready to get out!”

Their moment interrupted, Lilith slipped her fingers out from under Zelda’s shirt, wiping away the smeared lipstick with her thumb from the redhead’s full bottom lip. They rested their foreheads together as they caught their breath.

“Rain check?” Lilith winked as she pushed off of the washer.

“Always,” Zelda breathlessly said, still feeling the heat low in her belly at the dark look in Lilith’s eyes.

After an early dinner, Lilith sat with Zelda at their dinner table, Brina on the redhead’s lap as they put together a puzzle. 

Brina’s eyes were still swollen from her earlier crying, and Lilith ran her thumb along the dimples in her cheek, smoothing back the loose curls around the child’s face.

“Baby, I want to talk about what happened today at school.” 

“Okay, Mama.”

“So, first of all, it’s wrong to hit people when you’re mad at them.”

“Uh huh, you and Daddy told me that. But I did what you said to do. I told him to stop and tried to ‘nore him. He got in my face.”

“Did you try to tell Mrs. Watkins?” Lilith gently prodded as she moved a piece into the puzzle, snapping it into place.

Brina stayed quiet, as if she was ashamed of herself.

Zelda nudged her, “Sweetie, we can’t fix or deal with whatever happened unless you tell us.”

She looked down, her lower lip trembling again, tears pooling in her luminous blue eyes. 

“I tried to tell her, but she was busy. And then she said that’s what boys do when they like you, they pick on you. But he wasn’t pickin’ on me. He was bein’ mean ‘bout you, Mama. And Zee said he was wrong.”

“Zee told me what happened, and I’m not mad at you at all, I want you to know that. You tried your best to do the right thing. I think Zee and me are going to your school,” she stopped to look at Zelda who nodded her head in agreement. “and we are going to fix this.”

Zelda reached over to take Lilith’s hand, giving it a squeeze, then hugging Brina to her.

Later, when they put her in bed, Brina curled up under her blankets with her thumb firmly in her mouth. They stood at the foot of her bed, worry etched on both their faces.

“She hasn’t done that in ages, I wish I’d paid more attention to her, maybe I could have…” Lilith sighed as Zelda slipped her arm around her waist.

“Now you stop,” the redhead whispered gently. “It’s going to be okay. Call and set up the meeting at school and we will figure out what to do next. I took tomorrow off to stay with her at home. We will read and she can work on her tablet in my office while I work. She knows what she did was wrong, and that’s what matters.”

Lilith looked up at her, her hand cupping Zelda’s cheek.

“Don’t ever doubt who you are, Zelda. Doing what you’ve done today, trying to make everything better for my baby, changing around your life for her, this is what a mother does.”

  
  


**********

  
  


Firmly entrenched in a marketing report from one of her eight stores, Zelda barely noticed the text tone of her phone, buzzing insistently until it fell on the floor next to Brina who sat at her feet.

“Mama texted you, Zee.” Brina held it up. “It says the meeting is at three dot dot three zero today. Where ya going?”

“Thank you, little miss.” Zelda took the phone, tapping the girl on the nose. “To your school. Mrs. Davis said she could sit with you. Let’s you and me read a while before she comes.”

Crawling into her lap, Brina read her latest library books to Zelda who was impressed to see she was reading far above where she should be as a kindergartner. _Perhaps whatever happened with the little boy in her class did have something to do with jealousy or Brina outshining him_ , she thought. She shook her head at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Getting Brina settled with the sitter, Zelda was on her way to school a few hours later. She waited for Lilith in the parking lot, and they walked in together, Lilith’s hand sliding into hers as they waited for the principal. 

“Ladies, you may come on in.” The principal waited at her open office door, and they walked in to see Mrs. Hicks and Mrs. Watkins already seated inside. Mrs. Cherry would not meet Zelda’s eye, a fact that did not escape the redhead.

They sat at a long table, Lilith and Zelda on one side, the educators on the other with the principal at the head of the table.

Mrs. Cherry cleared her throat and began, no one on either side of the table willing to speak up first.

“Sabrina’s mother wanted this meeting to discuss the incident that occurred yesterday, Mrs. Watkins, so why don’t you begin by describing what happened.”

The gregarious brunette smiled widely as she spoke of Brina, telling of all her sweetness and kindness and how the event was completely out of the blue.

“I heard a wail and looked up, and there was Sabrina, standing over Joey who was holding his nose, blood pouring out of it. I called the nurse and tried to stop the bleeding, and when the commotion died down, I brought Sabrina directly to the office.”

Lilith cocked her head to the side, chewing her bottom lip, something Zelda knew she did when she was trying to control her temper.

“Did you ask my daughter why she’d hit him?” she asked finally.

“Why no, at that point it didn’t matter to me. Our school has a zero tolerance policy for violence, regardless of the reason.” The teacher’s tone had become defensive.

“My child, who you only just said was kind and sweet, punched someone and you couldn’t be bothered to ask her why?”

“No, ma’am.” The teacher looked up at the principal, who nodded. “She also had refused to sit by Joey a few days before. She said he was bothering her, but kids do that. Kids say things to each other, they tease each other.That’s normal.”

Zelda couldn’t hold back. “The same boy had teased her over several days?”

“He probably just has a little crush on her is all.” Mrs. Watkins brushed it off. “Didn’t you say he’d been picking at her in your class too, Mrs. Hicks?”

“Wait a minute, this has been going on for weeks then.” Lilith continued. “Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”

“Perhaps there’s a reason why your daughter didn’t want to discuss it with you.” The teachers and principal all exchanged knowing glances, and Zelda’s jaw dropped. _They know exactly what he said,_ she thought.

“Is this a place of education or tale telling? We send Sabrina to school to learn, to improve herself, and we teach her to treat other kids the way she’d want to be treated. You’re implying that because of something in my past my child should be teased and picked on.” A rosy blush bloomed on Lilith’s cheeks as she spoke, gripping the armrest on the chair to control her temper. “I’m not sure how in the world a child would know anything about my past, and that will be another avenue I explore at a later time, but as adults you should’ve put a stop to it.”

“It was harmless until your daughter took it upon herself to hit him.” Mrs. Watkins stated.

Zelda’s brows went into her hairline.

“Harmless? He insulted her mother, over and over. He said she didn’t belong in Mrs. Hicks’s accelerated class, calling her dumb, and I’m wondering if this all doesn’t stem from that. Children don’t worry about those sorts of things, but their parents do. Joey’s mother could very well have started all this at home with some gossip, angry that her son wasn’t going to Mrs. Hicks’s class any longer. He brought it to school, brought it to Sabrina, and she took it as long as she could, even after asking for help, which you apparently disregarded. No, she shouldn’t have hit him, but he was in the wrong as well. Words have consequences, Mrs. Watkins.” Zelda shook her head angrily. 

The room was silent, everyone looking at the principal to redirect or rebut what Zelda had said.

“If you’d like, Sabrina can change classes for the last few months of the year. She can still attend Mrs. Hicks’s class as she has been doing, but she won’t be around Joey any longer.” 

Lilith seemed to consider this, and asked if she could think on it. 

They stood to leave, and Mrs. Watkins, whose face had gone pale while Zelda spoke, quickly got their attention before they walked out the door.

“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. “I really thought his teasing wasn’t a big thing. I apologize for any harm that has occurred.”

“Thank you,” Lilith muttered, taking Zelda by the arm and leading her outside.

“What you said in there, the way you took up for my baby…” She looked off in the distance. “You’ll never know what that meant to me.”

“You’re a good mother, and those teachers have no idea what all you’ve been through. I know their opinion of us isn’t important, but what happens to that dear girl of yours is monumental to me. She deserves the best of everything.” Zelda slid behind the wheel of her car while Lilith stood by the door.

“Move in with us.” Lilith said suddenly.

Zelda squinted up at her, “What?”

“You practically live at our house anyway, make it official. Move in my house, give up your apartment in Gulfport, bring that nursery you have on your porch and plant a garden in my backyard. Let's spend every moment we have together, Zelda.”

Zelda got out of her car, impulsively kissing Lilith and pulling her into an embrace.

“I thought you’d never ask.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chaise lounge was warmed by the sun as she sank into it, taking a needed cigarette break from her studying. Zelda was finishing the last of her course work for the semester, having wrapped up two years’ worth of learning in just under 18 months. She was tired, but having proven to herself she could accomplish this feat as well as hold a full time job and have a family, she knew the next 18 months would be doable. Her plan was to finish and then allow Lilith time to pursue the desire she’d expressed in her own higher education.

_like two sparrows in a hurricane  
trying to find their way  
with a head full of dreams  
and faith that can move anything  
they've heard it's all uphill  
but all they know is how they feel  
the world says they'll never make it  
love says they will _

_-two sparrows in a hurricane - tanya tucker_

The chaise lounge was warmed by the sun as she sank into it, taking a needed cigarette break from her studying. Zelda was finishing the last of her course work for the semester, having wrapped up two years’ worth of learning in just under 18 months. She was tired, but having proven to herself she could accomplish this feat as well as hold a full time job and have a family, she knew the next 18 months would be doable. Her plan was to finish and then allow Lilith time to pursue the desire she’d expressed in her own higher education.

Grinning at the memory of seeing Lilith in bed, a preparation book for the GED resting on her knees, her nose scrunched in concentration as she worked math problems on a pad next to her. It was one of the most endearing things Zelda’d seen. 

“What’ve you got there, darling?” Zelda had slid into bed next to her, still wearing her reading glasses, lifting the cover to peer at the title. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Lilith had chewed on the end of her pencil. “What if I wanted to do something other than unload frozen pizzas all day? I can’t do it without a high school diploma. So, like you did, I want to finish what I should have long ago, when I didn’t have good sense enough to do it.”

“I suppose that’s true; it's near to impossible to move ahead without that GED. Have you signed up to take the test yet?” Zelda had leaned back against the pillows, the latest murder mystery retrieved from the bedside table in her hands.

“No, I’ve only had this book a few days.” She had murmured, scribbling notes on the paper. “It’s this math. I struggled so much in school and math is the worst.”

Zelda had hummed in agreement, turning the page as she read.

Lilith had turned to the back of the book to check an answer, then had sent the book sailing to hit the bedroom door.

“Dammit, I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong!” she had blurted out, causing Zelda to jump and drop her book.

“Do you want me to look at what you’ve done and see if I can help?” she asked with a note of anticipation in her voice.

Blue eyes had rolled at that, but she had gotten the book and notepad, dropping them between the two on the bed. Zelda had looked at her over her glasses, then had opened the book, checking the equations to Lilith’s mad scribbles on the paper.

“It’s just here, you’ve transposed these two numbers when you moved to the second step of the problem.” Zelda had rewritten the numbers, solving the problem quickly, which didn’t seem to reassure Lilith. 

“School is so easy for you. I’m glad I didn’t pass down my awful math skills to Brina. That girl’s a genius with numbers.” She scowled at the text Zelda held out to her.

“Math isn’t everything, you have other skills. You’re so good with people in ways I could never be. You light up a room when you walk into it; people gravitate to you.”

Lilith muttered. “Yeah, like that’s gonna help me pass this test.”

“You’ll pass, I know you. You won’t give up until you get what you want.”

“It seems impossible right now, it’s overwhelming.” Lilith dramatically sighed. 

“I’d be happy to help you,” Zelda offered, sincerely wishing Lilith would just give in.

“No thanks,” she sulked miserably. “It’s not that I don’t want it, I want to do it myself. Do you understand that?”

“Certainly,” Zelda had agreed, but in truth Lilith’s refusal was confusing. Why would she turn down assistance when she obviously needed it?

The redhead had handed her back the materials, and Lilith put them on her bedside table, declaring she’d had enough for one night. She’d tossed Zelda’s book aside too, saying she was unable to resist the adorable way the redhead looked in her glasses, kissing her earnestly until thoughts of anything but each other drowned out the world.

Zelda came back to the present, thinking of Lilith who was currently sitting at the kitchen table, still cursing over the math in the GED prep book. When Zelda had offered to go over some practice problems with her again, Lilith still adamantly refused, saying she would work it out in her own time. Starting to say more, Zelda thought the better of it, dropping the matter and coming outside. It seemed the brunette’s mind was made up.

The back door slid open, and with it Lilith and Brina spilled out into the sun. Brina ran to jump in her inflatable pool they’d recently bought, and Lilith settled in front of Zelda on the chair, scooting back between her legs when she made room. She reached up, taking the cigarette from between Zelda’s fingers and put it between her lips, taking a deep drag. She rested her head on Zelda’s chest, stretching her legs to entangle them with the pale ones of her lover.

“Summer days like these are the best, don’t you think?” Zelda reclined into the cushion, tangling her free hand in Lilith’s wild curls. 

“They are. Having you and Brina around is all I want anyway. Well, that and passing this test.” Lilith reached for Zelda’s hand, and she intertwined their fingers. “I’m glad this school year is over and this year was easier than the last one.”

After the difficulties of Brina’s time in kindergarten, Mary Grace had mentioned a school in Gautier with an advanced program in arts and sciences that was a perfect fit for Brina. Zelda and Lilith noticed a change in the little girl almost immediately, and she had loved her first grade year.

“And now we have her at home for two months.” Lilith turned over, sliding up closer, her face hovering above Zelda’s as she pushed her back into the cushion. “I still can’t believe corporate was okay with you working from home while she’s out of school.”

“Brina may get to see the excitement of a new baby food marketing campaign or ride with me to calm an angry manager, but I can do what I need to from here primarily.” Leaning down, Lilith placed a chaste kiss on Zelda’s lips, mindful of their audience. 

“Besides,” Zelda continued after she returned Lilith’s affections. “I have to be here. She’s teaching me the finer points of goaltending in soccer, and in return I promised to go bike riding everyday.”

“I feel so left out,” Lilith pouted, though her eyes twinkled. She constantly expressed her never ending gratitude to Zelda for taking on Brina as if she were her own.

“You will be too busy once you get that promotion you applied for. Frozen foods manager, I’m so proud of you.” Zelda wrapped her arms around the brunette.

“I don’t have the job yet. That test is Thursday and the interview the day after. I should know if I passed, and that will look good to Joe when I sit down to talk with him.”

“You’ll get it. Think of all the effort you put in back in Gulfport when we repaired the store. It’s perfect for you. And Joe seems to be a fair person, and he’s seen how hard you work, I’m sure.”

“From your mouth to god’s ear. Or at least Joe’s ear.” Lilith laughed at her own joke as Zelda groaned, but, to Zelda, Lilith was very unsure of herself, something she’d never observed in Lilith previously.

_I could talk with Joe,_ she thought. _Make sure he’s aware of all Lilith has accomplished._

“Guess I’d better get back inside. That 10 page paper on the rise of the big box store in America isn’t going to write itself.” Zelda sighed, pulling herself up from her comfortable position. “I could bring my laptop out here and keep an eye on Brina if you need more study time.”

“No, I’ll hit the books again when she’s finished swimming. Pythagoras has waited thousands of years, he can wait a while longer.” 

“If you’re sure,” Zelda stood at the open door. “I really don’t mind watching her.”

“Go write your paper. I’ve got this.” Waving her hand, Lilith turned her focus back to Brina, and Zelda felt a sting as the irritation in her voice was evident.

Determined that she would talk to Joe when she saw him at the beginning of the week, to give Lilith that extra boost before her job interview, Zelda settled in her office, her mind centering in on the humble beginnings of Kmart.

Her meeting with the manager of the Pascagoula store was not to be. Called away for an online meeting with the other district managers in Mississippi, Zelda was caught up in her own tasks and finding a solution to marketing issues she had that the determination she’d had to put in a good word for Lilith was forgotten. 

Thursday arrived quickly, and Lilith nervously paced the kitchen, repeating math formulas to herself before she left for the testing center.

“Hey, you’ve got this, you’re going to do great!” Zelda leaned against the counter, watching the brunette’s frantic last-minute cram session.

“Mama, ‘member what you always tell me - just do your best.” Brina sat up on her knees in the barstool eating her cereal, eyes wide at her anxious mother.

“My cheerleading squad, what would I do without you?” Taking a deep breath, Lilith looked at the clock. “Guess I’d better go.”

She leaned across the counter to give Brina a kiss, the girl’s milk mustache bringing a smile to her face.

“Be good for Zee today, little lady.”

She turned back to Zelda, sipping her coffee, hair still sleep-tousled and wearing her silky robe.

“I’d much rather take you back in that bedroom and have my way with you,” she whispered as she leaned into Zelda’s embrace, her tongue tracing the outer edge of Zelda’s ear, as her fingers slipped inside the robe to tease and torment. The redhead shuddered, suppressing a moan, the grip of her hand tightening on Lilith’s back.

“I’ll take you up on that later, and repay you again and again.” Zelda whispered back, a flush crawling up her chest.

They kissed gently, the giggles of the seven year old behind them ringing through the house.

Hours later while she was tied up in a Zoom meeting with Bobbie Jo, a text came through from Lilith. 

_I passed! XO - L_

Telling Bobbie Jo to hold on, she muted her microphone, yelling for Brina and giving her the news, swinging her around in excitement.

“We will have to make Mama a special dinner tonight to celebrate!” the little girl jumped up and down excitedly.

“That we will have to do, sweet girl.” Zelda finished her work for the day, preparing Lilith’s favorites which thrilled the brunette when she returned home from work.

When Brina had been put to bed, the two women settled on the couch, Lilith’s head resting on Zelda’s lap, looking up at her as she described the test and how she’d second guessed herself over and over, almost walking away to try and take it another day.

“But I could see you and Brina in my mind telling me not to give up, so I stuck it out. I just knew I’d failed. The monitor handed me my score and I nearly fell over.” Zelda stroked through the silky strands of her hair.

“And now your interview’s tomorrow! How do you feel about it?” 

She answered without hesitation. “Very confident actually. I know Joe likes me, he compliments my work, asks me to take on extra projects, and to help out with new hires, although he hasn’t done that in a while. So, all in all, I feel like it’s a no brainer.”

“Want me to ask you practice questions? I can imagine what Joe will ask you. After all, I have a bit of experience in this area.” Zelda pursed her lips as if thinking of the last interview she'd done. 

Lilith’s face dissolved into mischief.

“I’d rather _show_ you my _other_ skills and experience, Zelda Spellman.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Her body quivered at that statement, remembering Lilith’s tongue swirling round her ear that morning. She’d replayed how Lilith’s breasts pressed into hers all day. _I’ll never get enough of her,_ she thought.

“ _Me?_ And why should I hire you? What specific talents do you possess that I might find beneficial?” Zelda’s teasing tone was all business as Lilith eyed her darkly.

“I think you’d find a demonstration very much to your liking.” Zelda felt the heat pool between her legs as Lilith’s face took on a hungry edge.

Rising from the couch, Lilith offered her hand, pulling Zelda to her feet, bumping their lips together too roughly at first, settling into a rhythm quickly. In no time, the masterful strokes of Lilith’s tongue had her struggling to stay upright, and her hands had wandered under Zelda’s shirt, stroking the smooth skin of her lower back. In turn, Zelda tried several times to unbutton Lilith’s jeans, laughing into her mouth when her fingers slipped away to grab at her ass.

They left a trail of clothing behind as they made their way to the bedroom, and Lilith pushed Zelda on to the bed, crawling on top to straddle her at the waist, her knees on either side of Zelda’s hips. She stared down at the redhead already squirming beneath her, their kisses and caresses setting her body aflame.

“How I’ve looked forward to this all day,” Lilith stroked the backs of her fingers across Zelda’s pale frame, leaving red trails in her wake.

Zelda bit her lip, trying to stay quiet, but a low moan escaped as Lilith swirled one finger around her nipple, bringing it to a peak as she took the other in her lips, her tongue mimicking the motions of her finger.

“ _Lilith…”_ Her hips rocked and pressed together, seeking the friction she needed, and Lilith rolled to her side, her fingers sliding down to find Zelda more than ready for her, stroking the insides of her thighs that fell open readily, then softly over her clit as the redhead moaned her pleasure.

. 

“I see you’ve been thinking of me too.” She brought her fingers to her mouth, licking them clean one by one as she groaned. “You taste divine.”

“Don’t make me wait,” Zelda whimpered, all the more excited as Lilith’s fingers returned to dip into her arousal, hovering over her entrance.

Zelda knew she wouldn’t last when Lilith pushed two fingers inside her, crooking and twisting them, hitting the spot that made her tighten around them. When she lowered her tongue to Zelda’s center, circling tightly, causing Zelda’s hips to lose their steady rhythm, the redhead was a goner. In a matter of moments she was calling Lilith’s name on a keening cry, then breathlessly falling back onto the pillows. 

“Skills _and_ experience,” she said in the most managerial voice she could muster in her post-orgasmic haze. “You’ve got the job.”

With a laugh, Lilith extended her hand, only meaning to have Zelda grasp it, but the redhead found it difficult to focus.

As Lilith grinned at the state she’d reduced Zelda to, she was suddenly shocked when Zelda grabbed her hand, pulling her to the edge of the bed as she slid onto her knees before the brunette.

Spreading her legs, Zelda placed open mouth kisses to the sensitive skin of her inner thighs, and Lilith rocked her hips towards Zelda’s ready mouth, trying to force her to place her mouth where she needed stimulation.

Looking up into Lilith’s flushed face, Zelda smirked as she slowly thrust two fingers inside to hear her lover keen in pleasure.

“It seems you are _very_ well qualified by the looks of things.” Zelda laughed against her center, causing Lilith’s entire body to quake.

Using her free hand to reach up and tweak her nipple, twisting and pulling until Lilith was frantically bucking onto her fingers, Zelda lowered her lips to take her clit in her mouth, sucking and swirling with her tongue til Lilith speechlessly came, only capable of producing animalistic groans and whines.

Slowly bringing her down, Zelda removed her fingers to Lilith’s exhale, bringing them to her lips as the brunette watched. They moved to the pillows, Lilith shifting behind Zelda, wrapping her arms around her waist and nuzzling her neck.

“I’ll be gone when you wake up, my sweet Zelda,” Lilith murmured in her ear. “My interview’s at 8, and I want to get a head start on a few things when Joe gets there.” 

Looking back over her shoulder, Zelda nodded. “Call me afterwards, okay?”

“Mmmhmm.” The drowsy reply was the last sound as Lilith threw one leg over her, and Zelda pulled the sheet over the both of them.

  
  
  
  


“Zee,” Zelda felt a warm hand on her bare shoulder. “Zee, wake up.”

Rolling over, pulling the sheet over her chest, she faced the mussed curls and big blue eyes begging her for the pancakes she’d promised her they’d make the previous morning. She stroked Brina’s soft cheek, telling her she’d be right there.

Sending her on ahead to get out the ingredients, Zelda pulled a robe on, and retrieved her phone to lay on the kitchen counter.

After Zelda had patiently explained how measuring, baking, and combining things properly was like a science experiment, Brina had taken an interest in the culinary arts. They’d worked side by side baking and cooking, and Lilith became their taste tester, although she was definitely biased and hadn’t yet turned down anything they’d made.

Arriving in the kitchen, Zelda saw she had already laid out every measuring cup they owned, and the redhead began to explain why they mixed the wet and dry ingredients separately. The little girl never ceased to amaze Zelda; she was a tiny sponge that absorbed everything she learned.

They had put their heads together to work out how to split the pancake recipe in half when Zelda’s phone rang. Brina skipped over to grab it, answering when she saw it was her mama.

“Mama, Zee and I are makin’ pancakes!” She grinned into the screen, and Lilith blew her a kiss. 

“Save me one, baby. Mama’s had a rough day so far, so a sweet treat from you will make it all better. Now hand the phone to Zee, and I’ll see you when I get home.”

“Bye, Mama.” Brina kissed her fingers and blew at the palm of her hand as Zelda took the phone, motioning to the girl that she was going outside to talk. “I’ll be right back, sweet girl.”

She took her cigarettes and went to sit on the back porch.

Lighting one, she squinted into the phone at Lilith’s wide eyes. 

“Well?” she finally said as Lilith remained quiet, and the sound of a shaky breath greeted her, making her instantly wish she was there with Lilith. “What happened, love?”

She shook her head , shrugging her shoulders in confusion. 

“I’m, uh, really not sure,” her voice breaking then, the disappointment evident on her face. “He asked me questions, but not about the department at all.”

Zelda sat straight up on the chair, anger clouding her features.

“What do you mean? Like, personal questions?”

Lilith sighed. “Not about _me_ personally. More like situational questions. Like what would I do if someone in my department didn’t follow through on a project I’d given them.”

_You’d have them redo it or you’d delegate the project to someone who’d get the job done,_ Zelda thought. “And how did you respond?”

“I said I’d go behind them and do it myself. Doesn’t the saying go -- if you want something done right you do it yourself?”

Zelda took a drag on her cigarette, stalling as feelings of empathy rolled over her. 

“But, honey, in the situation you gave the job to someone else. If you’re in management, they would need to follow through with what you ask them to do. You’d have your own responsibilities and wouldn’t have time for cleaning up after your employees.”

“Are you saying you’ve never gone back and redid something because you weren’t happy with the results someone else gave you?” Lilith questioned. “You hold everyone around you to such high standards I can’t believe that’s never happened.”

“To be completely honest with you, I’d make them redo it. You’ve got a knack for explaining the ins and outs of a project. I’ve seen you do it.” 

“Joe made like I wasn’t cut out for leading people. He said I was a team player, and he appreciated that people liked me, but that wasn’t enough to be management material.”

“Aw, Lilith, no. God, I’m so sorry.” The wheels were turning in her head as she spoke the words, an idea forming.

“I think I’m going to come on home, spend some time with you and Brina. The floor is covered and I need a mental health day.”

“Do that. Come home and be with us. We’re here for you.”

They disconnected and Zelda leaned back in the chair after crushing out her cigarette in the ashtray beside her. She wanted to make sure Joe had treated Lilith fairly. He could be old fashioned, and not the biggest fan of women in management, so a word from her could possibly influence him to give Lilith a chance at a second interview.

After letting Brina know her mother was on the way home and hearing her squeals of excitement, Zelda decided to shower while they waited for Lilith to return. She continued to mull over calling Joe, and was pulling out a black skirt from her closet when Lilith entered the bedroom.

“Hey.” Her eyes were downturned as she stepped out of her boots, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull off her jeans. “Going somewhere?”

“Mmmhmm,” Zelda slid hangers aside until she found the sleeveless blouse she was looking for. “Since you’ll be home I thought I’d run some papers over to Joe and his assistant manager about that new endcap display idea I’d had.”

Lilith clucked her tongue, showing how let down she was. “Can’t you just email them? I wanted to spend time with you this afternoon.”

“I won’t be long, and then I’m all yours for the rest of the day.”

Zelda moved to sit at her vanity she’d brought from her apartment, opening the top drawer to remove her hairbrush. Standing behind her, Lilith took it from her hand and began to pull gently through the tangles she’d put there the night before as she’d grasped Zelda’s hair in a moment of passion.

Their eyes met in the mirror, and Lilith’s quickly darted away.

“Are you disappointed in me?” she finally mumbled.

“No,” Zelda scrunched her brow, trying to meet Lilith’s gaze again. “No, I’m not. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know.” She let out a breath. “I sure fucked up that interview and I came home to be with you only to have you dressing to leave.”

Turning around on the bench, Zelda took the brush from her hand. She tried to grasp Lilith’s fingers, but felt them shaking as she held on.

“Come here,” she said softly, still holding her hand as she led Lilith to the edge of the bed. As they sat down, she pulled Lilith’s stiff frame into her arms, sliding her hands up and down her back and arms until she melted into Zelda’s touch, laying her head on the redhead’s shoulder.

“Disappointment is not what I’m feeling _in_ you _,_ but I’m feeling it for you, love. Disappointed that you didn’t get what you seemed like you wanted, disappointed in Joe for not seeing in you what I see in you,” Zelda declared as Lilith sat up straight again.

Lilith chuckled, lowering her head with a small smile.

“What’s so funny?” Zelda asked with a puzzled expression.

“You are.” Lilith chuckled again. “You see all those good qualities in me because you love me, but Joe’s right. He’s _so_ right.”

“What?” Zelda was genuinely shocked. “He said you weren’t cut out to manage people, to be in that type of leadership position. Why would you agree with him? You are such a people person.”

“Yeah, to talk to, to clown around with, to listen to, but not to lead, not to have to hold accountable to do a job. That’s not me at all.” Lilith said seriously.

“But in Gulfport --” Zelda started to say.

“In Gulfport I was trying to impress you, trying to get your attention. And it worked, didn’t it?” 

Zelda shrugged, nodding her head. “It did, among many other things. You held my attention from the moment we met. But you and Sheryl worked so well together you could’ve taken over that whole department.”

“Because I _like_ Sheryl. We get along so well. I don’t know that I could be that way with everyone. Not in that sort of setting.” She picked at the frayed hem of her shorts. “I need to be honest with you.”

It was Zelda’s turn to feel her hands shake. “Okay,” she said slowly, clasping her hands together on her lap til her knuckles turned white.

“It’s nothing all that earth-shaking, my love,” Lilith said gently, prying loose her grasp and bringing one hand to her lips. “I just need to tell you why I applied for that job in the first place.”

Zelda visibly relaxed, allowing Lilith to continue. 

“You’ve done so much for us, so much for Brina alone. I wanted to contribute something to our family too. And this seemed like the perfect way to do it.”

Zelda cupped her cheek, holding her face in the warmth of her palm. “I adore you for that. You’ve given more to me than you will ever know: you care about me in a way no one ever has, your daughter is a joy every day, she’s the light of my life, and together we’ve made something I thought I’d never have.” She rubbed her thumb over the sharpness of Lilith’s cheekbone. “But you would’ve been doing something you didn’t even enjoy just to make a monetary contribution to our family. I’m fulfilling my hopes and aspirations in my job now, and I want that for you too.”

Leaning into Zelda’s hand, Lilith placed hers on top of it, caressing her fingers. 

“I do have some ideas about what I’d like to do in the future, but I’m not sure I have the patience to do them. It seems overwhelming. But you’re here now, and you make so many things seem possible for me.”

They sat in the moment, their words between them, and Zelda knew she had to be honest as well. She cleared her throat, swallowing hard as she looked Lilith in the eye.

“I wasn’t going to see Joe just to deliver plans. I was going to tell him he had to give you another chance at that job; no, not tell him, demand that he give you another chance.”

Lilith rolled her eyes, making a fist and letting it fall to the mattress beneath her. 

“I had wondered why you needed to go up there all of a sudden.”

“That would’ve been the wrong thing to do, I see that now. I just hated to see you doubting yourself.” Zelda traced the circle patterns on the quilt.

“Zelda, I know you never want me or Brina to feel pain or struggle. That’s your nature, you’ve got empathy for days. I saw that last year when we dealt with Brina’s kindergarten teacher, and I’ve seen it in how you act so strong when you’re falling apart on the inside.” Lilith gently pushed forward, saying things it seemed she’d held inside, as if she'd been waiting for this opportunity. “When you were drinking you tried hard to keep up appearances, never letting anybody know how you felt, but feeling so much for everyone around you.”

Lilith took Zelda’s face in her hands, wiping the twin tears that had escaped her eyes. 

“I want you to know that it’s okay to let us hurt sometimes, to let us be disappointed. I’m not your mama and I’m not your ex-husband, I don’t want you around for what you can do for me.” Zelda’s eyes had closed at Lilith’s words. 

“I know you aren’t. I know that isn’t why I’m here now. Old habits are hard to break though,” her voice quivered as she spoke, and she swiped at her eyes with her fingers.

“Well, you know what? I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to be here everyday, reminding you that you yourself are enough.”

Zelda’s watery smile brought out a small laugh from Lilith.

“I love you, Zelda, with my whole heart I love you.”

“And I love you, my Lilith, with everything in me.”

  
  
  


Zelda was hanging her skirt back in the closet, and removing a short sleeved eyelet blouse from a hanger, putting her arms in the sleeves when Brina popped her head around the door of the closet. 

Lilith had gone back into the kitchen to let Zelda dress and compose herself after their confessions. Her eyes still pricked with tears at Lilith’s honest appraisal, but knew the brunette was right. It wasn’t necessary to try and fix every broken thing in the lives of those she loved.

“Mama says the pancakes are almost ready, Zee.” Her curls bounced as she skipped into the small space. “Are you cryin’?”

Zelda looked into the sensitive face of the little girl, tears welling up in her big blue eyes in sympathy. 

“Only because I’m so happy, my sweet girl,” she knelt down to wrap her arms around her girl. “Now let’s go try those pancakes and see if they’re as good as ours.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda lifted her arm, and Brina scooted closer, humming a song she’d made up that the baby seemed to like. Laying her curly head on Zelda’s belly, she cooed and sang to the baby, and Zelda smoothed her hand over the girl’s hair, wrapping her fingers in the golden spiral curls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to end this story with something truly joyful, even though it's still tinged with a bit of angst. You can't have family without it though! 
> 
> Thank you for coming along with me on this journey. I have loved this story and have given it so much of me. Y'all have been so great to comment and love it too. These characters will be hard to leave behind.

_well the sky has finally opened_

_the rain and wind stopped blowin'_

_but you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again_

_you hold tight to your umbrella_

_well, darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya_

_that there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head_

_rainbow - kacey musgraves_

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Zelda!” 

The redhead nearly jumped out of her skin, the sudden call of her name causing her to almost drop the box she was straining to carry.

“Put that box down right now! You know what the doctor told you on that last visit. You have to take it easy,” Lilith rounded the corner into the small office, her harsh admonition melting down to softness as Zelda dropped the storage container of books she’d been carrying. One hand went instinctively to the curve of her back, supporting herself as she straightened up, the other to caress her ever more protruding belly.

Sighing, Zelda tried to push the box with her foot, only to have Lilith move it for her.

“I just want to help,” she sighed, then a warm smile crossed her face as she took Lilith’s hand, placing it atop her abdomen. “But it seems our daughter has other ideas.”

Lilith grinned as she felt the strong kicks beneath her palm. 

“I think she’s going to be a redhead, just like her mama, stubborn to a fault and always making her presence known.” She gently stroked back and forth, soothing mother and baby. “Now please go sit down, I’ll finish clearing out the room and blowing up the air mattress for Brina. Your sister will be here soon and you don’t want to be out of commission with a backache like you were after putting that crib together,” she motioned towards the baby bed against the wall. 

Shrugging, Zelda leaned in for a kiss as she made her way to the door, stopping to lean against the frame.

“Maybe I was just trying to get another one of your back massages. You know, the kind where you end up between my legs, your big blue eyes staring at me as you take me to heaven and hell and back again.”

The brunette pulled her as close as possible, hands buried in her long red locks before she kissed Zelda soundly, her voice whiskey smooth in Zelda’s ear. “If that was the case, all you had to do was ask. You know how I can’t resist how you look right now, all glowing and radiant.” She swept her thumbs over Zelda’s nipples through her blouse, earning a moan in response. “And these are irresistible.”

“You and your obsession with my big pregnancy boobs.” Zelda rolled her eyes. “You’re only saying that to be nice. I’m enormous, not sexy.”

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong.” Lilith took her hands, leading her to the couch, then handing her the textbook she’d been reading earlier. “I’d find you sexy no matter what, but the fact that you’re having our child, well, that just means I can barely keep my hands off you.”

Melting under her words, Zelda found herself wanting to cry for the thousandth time that day, but she looked around for her glasses, a good distraction til she had her emotions under control.

“Now, will you sit here until Hilda arrives? Just let me and Brina take care of you for once.” She took Zelda’s face in her hands again, kissing her forehead as the redhead nodded.

Settling back into the cushions, Zelda tried to focus on the text before her, but she read and reread the same paragraph several times before she gave up, removing her glasses and resting her hands on her stomach, stretching her feet out in front of her.

She was excited to see her sister again; it had been almost five months since their last visit, when Zelda was still very early in her pregnancy. She’d never introduced her little family to Hilda face to face til then; they’d only seen each other through FaceTime or Zoom calls. Lilith, Brina, and Zelda had taken a road trip to Bonifay the Christmas before, and, to her surprise, Hilda and Lilith had hit it off from the start, laughing and joking as if they were already old friends. Cerberus had taken Brina fishing for the first time, and they’d brought home enough shad and sea bass to stock Hilda’s freezer for months.

Zelda still sought her sister’s approval, and Hilda, up until meeting Lilith in the flesh, had still mentioned Faustus occasionally, letting Zelda know in no uncertain terms what a mistake it had been to let him go. She hadn’t mentioned him in front of Lilith, but her harping on the subject was like a nagging thorn in Zelda’s side.

Hilda was coming into town now to attend the baby shower Mary Grace was throwing for Zelda at her house the next day. Zelda had insisted she didn’t have to make the three hour drive, but Hilda wouldn’t take no for an answer. _Miss my own sister’s baby shower?_ Zelda could still hear the offense in Hilda’s voice when she’d mentioned it. Their relationship was still on shaky ground as far as Zelda was concerned; she remembered Hilda looking around nervously when they’d been out in public at Christmas, especially when Lilith took Zelda’s hand. She hoped her sister would come around eventually and realize Lilith was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

“Are you asleep?” Zelda opened her eyes slowly, smiling at Brina who had curled into her side, her small hand stroking Zelda’s abdomen. “Mama said not to wake you up if you dozed off, but I wanted to talk to Ava Grace.” 

Zelda lifted her arm, and Brina scooted closer, humming a song she’d made up that the baby seemed to like. Laying her curly head on Zelda’s belly, she cooed and sang to the baby, and Zelda smoothed her hand over the girl’s hair, wrapping her fingers in the golden spiral curls.

“Your sister already loves you, Brina.” Zelda murmured as the baby continued to respond to Brina’s voice. “And having a sister is one of the best things in life.”

They both heard a car outside then, and Brina jumped up, running to the door.

“Auntie Hilda’s here!” she called, bringing Lilith from the bedroom.

“And just in time. I’ve moved everything into the closet or our bedroom,” she looked Zelda’s way. “Maybe we need to rethink that conversation we were having about a bigger house, especially after tomorrow and all the baby supplies people will give us. Where are we going to put it all?” She threw her arms in the air as Brina opened the door for Hilda.

“Don’t worry, darling. We’ll figure it out.” Zelda pushed herself up off the couch, shooing Lilith’s hands away as she tried to help. “We still have a month.”

“Hey, little one.” Hilda leaned down for Brina to wrap her arms around her neck. “You musta grown two inches since Christmas. You’ll be big as me before too long.” Kissing the little girl, Hilda picked her up. 

“Brina, you’re too big for that.” Lilith scolded, but Hilda made a face.

“Let me baby my niece if I want. After all, I hardly see y’all.”

She squeezed Brina tightly, kissing her again before plopping her onto the couch, turning her attention to Zelda. Suddenly, Zelda’s heart was beating a mile a minute, and she stood frozen waiting for Hilda’s greeting.

Hilda’s hands went to her cheeks as she took in her sister for the first time in months.

“Zeldy, look at you.” Tears sprung to her eyes as she reached to take Zelda’s hands. “You’re glowing like a firecracker on the Fourth of July.” She released her grip on one of her hands and had Zelda turn around. “Look at your hair; it’s longer than I ever remember seeing it ‘cept when you were just a girl. Still coloring it?”

“It’s those prenatal vitamins, my hair and nails grow like crazy. Ava Grace’s benefiting too given the fact that I have heartburn constantly.” Zelda stroked her belly as she spoke.

“Sometimes they say heartburn means the baby’s a redhead too. I guess a redhead makes sense though. Ava Grace? You finally settled on a name? Not Ava Lynn for Mama?”

Remembering Hilda’s rapid-fire questioning technique she employed to find out all she wanted to know, Lilith laughed as Hilda didn’t wait for a response before she continued her interrogation.

Zelda shook her head. “No, sister, Ava is Lilith’s middle name, and Grace for, well, Mary Grace. We thought it flowed better.” 

“Ah, okay, I guess.” Hilda shrugged, glancing around their small living room, bending to look at the framed photos on the tables between the chairs and couch. She picked up one from the trip they’d taken to Atlanta a few years before. Lilith had taken the picture of Zelda with Brina in her lap, kissing her cheek while the redhead gave a gentle smile to her lover behind the camera. “Sweet,” she muttered, setting it back down.

“And as far as her hair’s concerned, she’s got just as much chance of having dark curly hair as red like mine,” Zelda finished, reaching for Lilith, needing some support, feeling self-conscious as Hilda explored their living room.

Lilith took her hand, her other rubbing Zelda’s lower back as she saw the redhead wince and shift her weight to her other leg.

“Really? She could look like you too? How’s that work?” Hilda addressed this question to Lilith. “Zelda and me never talked about the IVF when she and Faustus were tryin’ to have a baby.”

Zelda gripped her hand more tightly as Lilith raised her eyebrows, laughing uncomfortably before answering.

“Well, when we started the process, we looked through lots and lots of donor profiles, trying to find one that matched me. We wanted similar genetic traits such as hair color, texture, and eye color so our girl would be a good mix of the both of us.” She bit her lip, leaning closer to Zelda.

“Well, isn’t science amazing? I never in a million years thought that kind of thing was possible. Sounds almost like a magic baby.” Hilda’s hollow laugh circulated around them in the silence following.

“Show me around,” she suddenly demanded. “I want to see what Zeldy’s done with the baby’s room. I remember the one she’d decorated back at the trailer, and even though she painted the walls yellow it still looked nice.”

Inwardly groaning at the memory of that room, thinking Hilda should know how it stung to think of her many failed attempts to have a child, Zelda caught Lilith’s eye as they moved towards the baby’s room, mouthing the words _I’m sorry._ The brunette raised her eyebrows, shrugging her shoulders at Hilda’s statement. 

Brina had already tired of the grown up conversation and ran out the front door to ride her bike, so the three of them made their way to the small bedroom next to the master, Hilda’s eyes taking in everything.

“Y’all are practically running over each other now, how’s it gonna be when the baby comes? Have ya thought about gettin’ a bigger place?” Peering into the bathroom, she flicked on the light, taking in the duck wallpaper Brina had begged for two summers before when Zelda redecorated it. “Have to paint over that if you move,” she said under her breath.

“Actually we were just talking about that when you got here,” Lilith managed to get in before Hilda entered the baby’s room, opening the blinds to let in the sunlight. 

“Yeah, you’re outgrowin’ this place.” Squinting her eyes in the light, Hilda took in the white Jenny Lind crib Zelda had gotten from Sam’s, the soft sage green of the walls, the small changing table and the patchwork quilt in shades of green Mary Grace had stitched upon learning of Zelda’s pregnancy. 

“No rocking chair?” Hilda blurted out, opening the folding doors to the closet, and sliding the freshly washed dresses and small outfits Zelda had hung inside.

“Well, not yet. Mary Grace insisted on buying the matching chair for the crib, and she’s giving it to us tomorrow. We know we’ll need it; it saved my life when Brina refused to go to sleep any other way lots of nights when she was a baby.” Lilith furrowed her brow at how Hilda seemed to now be inspecting the nursery.

“Mmmhmm.” Hilda ran her fingers over the edges of the baby’s name Zelda had painted on the wall, the white, looping letters spelling it out in flowing calligraphy. “Lots of paint in here. Is that good for a baby?”

Zelda answered quickly, becoming as confused as Lilith as she watched her sister pass judgment on her handiwork. “I painted this as soon as we knew she was a girl and we settled on a name. It’s perfectly safe.”

Walking by the two of them, Hilda made her way into their bedroom next, nearly tripping over the boxes Lilith had stacked near the door.

When Lilith went to follow her, Zelda grabbed her arm, whispering to her before they moved on. “I don’t know what’s got into her; she’s acting like a protective mother in law or something.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember her being like this when we visited.” The brunette shrugged. “It’s no big deal, just weird.”

They heard drawers being slid open and the closet door shut as they stood together, and Zelda rolled her eyes.

“Glad you boxed up those _other_ items before she came, otherwise we’d be answering questions about our sex life next.” Lilith swallowed a laugh, but became concerned as she looked in Zelda’s eyes. “Talk to her, honey, and see if you can figure out what’s wrong.”

“I will when I can get a moment alone with her. Can you get her out of there? Tell her I need help with dinner or something.”

Finding Hilda bent over an open tub of books, Lilith gently replaced the lid, looking at the cover of the textbook she’d found inside.

“Is Zeldy studying psychology now? She’s been a busy girl.” Hilda handed the book to Lilith, apparently losing interest when she’d been found scrounging through their belongings.

“No, no, this one’s actually mine. I’ve been considering several options career-wise and I picked it up out of curiosity. Social work and counseling are definitely interests of mine.”

“Yeah, Zelda told me you’d been doing lots of volunteering at that rehab place. Was that the one you were in when you moved to Mississippi?”

Lilith frowned at that, turning her back to place the book back into the plastic tub.

“Uh, yeah, that’s the one. I wanted to do something to give back the help that was given to me, if that makes sense.” 

Hilda had moved to sit on their bed, taking in an ultrasound picture Zelda had framed, the first vision they’d had of the baby.

“A baby’s a huge responsibility.” The blonde looked directly at Lilith as she spoke, and the brunette bit her lip, opening her mouth to respond when Zelda called to Hilda from the kitchen.

“Sister, come help me. I need your stamp of approval on this sauce before I add it to the lasagna.”

Hilda strode out of the room, leaving Lilith to swallow her response, the still puzzled expression on her face.

Dinner was uneventful as Brina took over the conversation, filling Hilda in about school, her friends, and the plans she had for summer camp in June.

“And becoming a big sister, don’t forget about that, little one. I won’t be able to call you that much longer. You’ll have to be a big girl when the baby’s born.” Hilda’s smile meant what she said was supposed to make Brina feel proud and excited to meet her baby sister, but Zelda could see the little girl took her words differently.

“But I don’t want to stop being your little one, Auntie.” Brina said sadly, looking down at her plate. 

“Baby, you’ll always be Auntie Hilda’s little one. You’re her first niece, and when Ava comes she’ll love you both just the same.” Zelda hoped her words reassured Brina. Hilda took the little girl into her lap and gave her a squeeze, tickling her and causing her to burst into giggles.

Zelda stood to clear the dishes and Lilith joined her, while Brina pulled Hilda from her chair to take her into her bedroom.

Rinsing the plates, Zelda stacked them into the dishwasher, washing the casserole dish then handing it over for Lilith to dry.

“I’m really sorry, love. I knew she took it hard when I left Faustus, but I thought seeing us together at Christmas would have put her mind at ease.”

Placing the dish into the cabinet, Lilith laid down the towel, then wrapped her arms around Zelda from behind, settling her hands across her middle. Nudging her hair aside, she kissed Zelda’s neck, and the redhead leaned back into her embrace.

“I’m not worried about what she thinks, only how her opinion seems to affect you. We don’t have anything to prove to anyone, you know. Not even your sister.” Lilith whispered against her neck before placing her lips on the same spot, gently grazing it with her teeth.

Gasping, Zelda turned to give her more access as Lilith continued her gentle assault. They were surprised by a throat clearing behind them.

“Sorry,” Hilda mumbled, her eyes darting around the room, apparently uncomfortable at finding the two of them together like they were. 

Turning towards her, Zelda ran a hand through her hair, brushing it forward to cover what was surely a blooming bruise on her pale neck, but she wrapped the other around Lilith’s waist, pulling her closer as she felt a soft sigh leave the brunette’s body.

“Everything okay?” _A loaded question,_ Zelda thought to herself, but she kept her gaze steady, meeting Hilda’s still awkward glance.

“Yeah, Brina read me part of her book and then saw her little friends out the window. I hope it’s alright with you that I told her to run along and enjoy the last little bit of sunshine left in the day.”

Lilith nodded. “She knows to come home when it gets dark.” 

The silence stretched out between the three of them now without Brina to create the buffer of constant chatter. Hilda became very interested in trying to scrape a bit of nail polish left behind from the manicure Brina had given Zelda the week before, the bright pink glaringly bright against the black granite countertop.

“Oh,” Zelda suddenly remembered, opening the refrigerator and taking out a platter. “I forgot about the cheesecake. Do y’all want a piece?”

The other women hummed in agreement, and both seemed grateful for the distraction. Removing the plastic wrap, Zelda cut it into slices and handed them out.

“I’m afraid all we can offer you to drink is tea or water. I know you like a glass of wine after dinner, sister, but we don’t keep it around.” She passed out forks, moving back to the table and easing herself into a chair.

Finding her voice, Hilda chuckled quietly. 

“Can’t imagine the temptation of a bottle of wine would be good for your sobriety, Zeldy. How long has it been now?”

Lilith nearly choked on the bite she’d taken as Hilda spoke, swallowing quickly before opening her mouth to reply, and Zelda saw the anger flashing in her eyes.

“You have no idea how hard it was for your sister --” Lilith began, but Zelda interrupted her, her hand resting on Lilith’s knee under the table.

“Going on three years, and, yes, you’re right, it wouldn’t be the best choice.” She pushed away the dish in front of her, sitting back and narrowing her eyes at her sister. “Do you actually think I’d endanger the life of our child like that, after all we’ve been through to get here?”

Hilda silently regarded the two of them from across the table, her expression open now. 

“Maybe that’s the problem, sister. I’ve been out of the loop ever since…” she paused, taking a shaky breath. “You used to share with me, trust me, and now I feel like an outsider in your life.”

This tact was an old pattern they slid into like a comfortable pair of shoes, only now Zelda realized how grating and manipulating it had become. The passive aggressive jibes, silent stares and snooping were all a part of the act, a game they’d watched their parents play out and one they’d carried into their own adult relationship. Hilda only wanted Zelda to play her part, to apologize for her wrongs, admit Hilda was right, and to give in somehow. 

Cocking her head to the side, Zelda held her sister’s gaze, contemplating her response. 

“Consider yourself back in the loop, Hildy.” She answered with a warm smile. “What would you like to know?”

Leaning forward on her elbows, resting her face in her hands, Hilda grinned conspiratorially as if she were privy to something sacred.

“Well, why now? I know you wanted a child badly years ago, but now you have exactly that.” She batted her eyes at Lilith. “Why go to the trouble of having another?”

Being accustomed to Hilda’s questioning, Zelda wasn’t shocked at her blunt assessment of their decision to have another child, but she could see the effect it had on Lilith. She was much more used to Zelda’s soft-pedaling to get to the meat of a matter. 

“After my last birthday I had my annual exam, and Dr. Clifton was commenting on how healthy I was, as fit as he’d ever seen me. He asked if I was still considering IVF, and when my bloodwork came back he was even more convinced now would be the right time to try again.” 

Hilda tapped her fingers on the table. 

“But the financial cost of it, and y’all are clearly not well off. That’s a lot of debt to take on.” 

“You don’t need to worry about that. I have a good job, and Lilith took on more hours to help with the expense. Aside from that, I had the money from the sale of the trailer.”

“Your savings! What if something happens, if one of you, god forbid, needs serious medical care? That cushion you had is gone!” Hilda’s voice rose as she spoke.

“And if anything were to happen, we will handle it. We’re a family, and this was a family decision.” Lilith interjected. “You do have a point though, Hilda.”

“Yes? I’m surprised to hear you say that.” 

“Zelda is as much a mother to Brina as I am. Which was part of why I agreed to have another. I’ve seen how she loves Brina, how she has helped mold my child into someone she might not be now were it not for Zelda. And there’s a fierce love in your sister, an undying love. I know for a fact she’d give herself for either of us, and she definitely has room to love another child, a child that would be a part of her. And I want that for her.” Lilith stroked Zelda’s arm.

“We got lucky, sister,” Zelda explained. “Choosing the donor took a few weeks, and then it was a waiting game. Watching the clock, taking my temperature and waiting for everything to come together. After that we made the drive to Jackson, had the procedure and came home. It took the first time. Ten years of frustration and pain, when really it was just that I had the wrong partner.” 

The hand still resting on Lilith’s knee squeezed lightly, enough to cause Lilith to look her way. A raised eyebrow and eyes pointed in Hilda’s direction had the woman realizing she should show Hilda exactly how invested they wanted her to be in the little family they were creating.

“As much as you’ve accepted my little girl, well, our Brina,” She reached across the table to take Zelda’s hand. “We want you to be as involved in Ava Grace’s life. You know that, right?”

Hilda’s eyes filled with tears as she glanced back and forth between the two of them. 

“I’m sorry, Zeldy. Sorry I doubted you.” She lowered her head, only to look up again. “And Lilith, I don’t know that my sister could’ve found a better person to love.”

The front door burst open then, letting in the heat and the glow of the setting sun. Brina skipped to the table, settling herself on Hilda’s lap and stealing the fork from her hand, swiping the last bite of cheesecake from the plate before them.

“Here, baby girl.” Lilith shoved her half eaten piece over to Brina who dug in, exhausted from her bike riding.

“Finish up and I’ll run you a bubble bath, little one.” Hilda stood, smiling at her sister across the table. They heard the water begin to fill the tub, and Brina shoved the last bite into her mouth before she bounced toward the bathroom.

Zelda sighed, stacking the plates but not moving from the table.

“I should’ve known.” She whispered, her mouth curving into a smirk. “She felt left out. That’s what she does. She’ll be okay now.”

“My sisters and I aren’t close at all, but y’all take it to a new level.” Lilith shook her head.

“There’s a bond between us, that’s for sure. I don’t think it’s very healthy sometimes, but it’s a pattern we need to work on. She’s not ready for that yet. Someday she will be.” 

Zelda allowed Lilith to help her from the chair, and when she went to clear the table off, she reached a hand to her back, rubbing up and down as she winced. 

“You’re in pain, aren’t you?” Lilith asked, taking the plates from her hand.

“Just a spasm, I think. The doctor said that would happen when she got bigger. It’s not bad.” She swallowed against the pain she felt. “Would you help me in a few minutes? I think I want to take a bath. It’ll relax me.”

“Sure, let me put these away and I’ll be right there.”

Making her way to their bedroom, Zelda glanced into the baby’s room, anxious to fill it with the rocking chair and gifts people would give them the next day. She was already on maternity leave, something she promised Lilith she would do after her last check up. Her blood pressure was higher than normal, and, at her age, the doctor was concerned about the stress of work causing problems for her and Ava Grace. 

Placing her hands under her belly, she closed her eyes, the pain in her lower back taking her breath again.

“Really making yourself known tonight, aren’t you, my sweet girl? Let us get through tomorrow and you can join us any time. I think we’re ready to meet you at last.” Zelda cooed as the kicks grew stronger, her daughter seeming to voice her agreement.

**********

Pulling the floral dress over her head, Zelda smoothed it down with a cringe. It had fit only the week before when it came in the mail, but now it was a bit tight. The modest neckline showed a bit of cleavage, which she knew would delight Lilith to no end. She turned to look at the back in her vanity mirror, and was pleased at the way the gathered fabric fell in a soft ‘v’ over her shoulder blades. Stepping into her gold metallic sandals, she felt another spasm in her back, the second one in the last half hour. 

Lilith came into the bedroom having checked on Brina who was dressed and ready to go, bouncing on the couch as Hilda tried in vain to braid her hair. 

“Almost ready?” she asked as she slipped on her sandals, showing off her freshly painted red toenails. 

Zelda turned, drawing in her breath at the sight of her lover.

“Look at you!” Zelda gushed. Lilith spun around, modeling the black tiered sundress she wore. She’d straightened her hair, and it hung straight down her back with a part in the middle. 

“My gorgeous girl,” Zelda breathed as she stood to kiss her, not caring at all if she smeared her freshly applied lipstick. “I know you hate all this fussy stuff, but I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone but you.”

“I don’t mind this, to be honest,” Lilith brushed a strand of hair behind Zelda’s ear. “Never had a baby shower with Brina. Nobody was particularly excited about me getting knocked up.”

“Let’s share this one then. She’s our daughter, not just mine.” She took a necklace from a drawer in her vanity table, Lilith taking it from her hands and fastening the clasp behind her neck. Zelda turned around, fingering the tiny star necklace Lilith wore daily, a reminder of that long ago night when they met under the starry sky. “Thank you again for granting this wish for me, love. For this life,” she smoothed her hand over her abdomen. “And all the other days of our life.”

Lilith looked into Zelda’s eyes, tears threatening to fall from the blue depths. “And all the days to come. I love you.”

Zelda caught the tears that fell with her thumbs, kissing Lilith lightly before whispering, “And I love you, too.”

“Hey you two lovebirds, the guest of honor shouldn’t be late for her own shower!” Hilda called from the living room, and they laughed together, walking out hand in hand.

Mary Grace’s house was adorned with pink and white balloons in every corner, a white eyelet tablecloth over her dining room table, and pale pink cupcakes that stood in a stack as a centerpiece. Zelda drew the woman into a hug after Mary Grace raved about how beautiful she looked, bragging on Lilith and how well she was taking care of the mother-to-be.

“And this is my sister, Hilda,” Zelda’s hands rested on Hilda’s shoulders as she introduced her to Mary Grace. 

“All the way from Bonifay or thereabouts, right?” Mary Grace asked, gesturing to a chair that Zelda should sit in.

“Yes, ma’am,” Hilda stated as she looked around at the other guests. 

Lilith had already wandered over to a group of ladies she knew from the Gulfport store, introducing them to Brina. 

Zelda took in the myriad of faces from all over. She noticed women from each of her 8 stores, and she took Hilda over to meet some of the mothers from Brina’s school. 

The chatter soon settled down as Zelda thanked them all for coming and began to open her gifts, Brina bringing them to her and laying them back on the table when they’d been unwrapped. Taking up one huge corner of the room was the white rocking chair covered in a big bow, and Brina tried to scoot it towards Zelda.

“No, sweet girl, just leave that one there. I know who it’s from,” Zelda reached for Mary Grace’s hand.

When all was opened and people began to mingle again, Brina got herself a pink frosted cupcake and settled herself on the small part of Zelda’s lap there was left to sit on. 

“Zelda,” Mary Grace scooted closer to the redhead, patting Brina on the leg as she shoved the sweet into her mouth, pink frosting covering her lips. “I’m so very happy for you. You’ve got this little darling here and that one to look forward to. You’ll have your hands full in the best way possible.”

“I know, Mary Grace. It just doesn’t seem possible that all this is mine.”

“You’ve come a long way, my dear. I’m proud of you, and I’m always here if you need me. Always.”

Scooping Brina off Zelda’s lap, Lilith hoisted her onto her hip, rubbing frosting off her face with her thumb.

“Help me start putting things in the car, baby girl. Auntie Hilda is putting the chair in the back now.”

“Guess that’s my cue. Thank you for doing this, Mary Grace.”

They promised to talk soon, and Zelda made her way to their car, stopping to brace herself against the hood as a pain coursed through her.

“Zelda?” Lilith got out of the driver’s seat. “Another pain?”

“Yes, and they’re getting closer together now. I think I’m in labor.”

Hilda squealed from the backseat, her face breaking out in a grin. 

“This has been going on since yesterday, hasn’t it? When you asked me to run you a bath, you were having pains then.” Lilith asked as she helped Zelda into the front seat, scooting it all the way back so she’d be comfortable.

“I think so. I don’t know,” Zelda felt as if she wanted to cry, the feelings of the big event finally happening hitting her all at once.

“Brina, go tell Miss Mary Grace we’re headed to the hospital now.” Lilith watched as another pain came over Zelda, her soft features morphing into a grimace. “And tell her to hurry.”

They drove as fast as possible, even running a few red lights as they made the drive across Gulfport. Zelda grabbed for Lilith’s hand through each contraction, relaxing as the pain eased away.

As soon as they reached the hospital, they were ushered into the labor and delivery area, Hilda and Brina settling themselves in the waiting room. 

Everything moved like a blur to Zelda after that. She changed into a hospital gown, handing everything to Lilith who put on a gown over her dress. The nurse checked her vitals, assuring her the doctor was on his way, and got her set up on the bed. A monitor was placed over her belly, measuring the length and intensity of her contractions.

“It says on your chart you wanted no pain medication. Is that still true?” the nurse looked at her skeptically. 

Zelda nodded, another contraction causing her to squeeze her eyes shut. “I’m okay,” she ground out through her teeth.

“No shame in changing your mind, you know,” Lilith said as she wiped her forehead with a damp cloth. “This hurts.”

“No, no, I’m okay. I want to remember everything about this, every moment.” Zelda went quiet after that, and all attempts Lilith made at conversation were acknowledged with a smile or a nod, but she didn’t speak. Her mind drifted back to the trailer, to the tiny bedroom she’d decorated in expectation of a child that was not to be. She remembered the disappointment of returning home day after day to that empty room, and how she’d still be there now if not for that hurricane, that fateful night when she thought she’d lost everything, only to truly find she’d found it instead.

The doctor arrived, checking her and telling her it was almost time to meet her daughter.

“Our daughter,” Zelda said as she held up Lilith’s hand. “She’s our girl.”

Two hours later, Lilith walked into the waiting room, taking Brina by the hand, Hilda and Mary Grace following behind. She led them back to the recovery room where Zelda lay holding their little girl. The exhaustion of her ordeal was written all over her face, but her smile was pure joy.

“Oh, Zeldy, she’s beautiful,” Hilda said through her tears, and Zelda looked away from her daughter long enough to beam at her sister.

Lilith picked up Brina, holding her close enough to see her sister.

“Look, darlin’, she has wavy hair just like ours.” Lilith leaned her over so Brina could place a soft kiss on the baby’s head.

“Zee, I’m a big sister! Can I hold Ava Grace?” Brina hopped onto the side of the bed, and Zelda gently laid the baby in her lap, her hands still supporting the newborn.

Lilith moved to sit on the other side of the bed, kissing Zelda on the temple.

“How’re you feeling, love?” she asked gently.

Zelda looked over at her with all the love she felt, leaning into her embrace.

“I’ve never been happier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might do an update sometime, a little glimpse into family life with our ladies and their two girls.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated and loved. <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Pineapple and Cigarette Butts](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27450025) by [praisemadamespellman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/praisemadamespellman/pseuds/praisemadamespellman)




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